Struck right in the vital spot—called out on what she'd done wrong in the past—Chabashira's expression grew extremely complicated, like a pie chart of emotions: three parts self-reproach, three parts vexation, four parts stubbornness. "No, that's not it."
"The students of the previous two Class Ds could never have caught up with the other classes. Even if I'd given the correct exam scope, it would have done nothing."
"What's more, if they… if they had paid attention in class and actually studied, would the exam scope even matter whether I gave it or not?"
Yukio smiled and waved it off, as if rejecting Chabashira's evasions and also saying it wasn't worth it—signaling that such purely subjective talk wasn't worth arguing over. "Chabashira-sensei, you can fool me, but can you fool yourself?"
A perfect hit. He lightly tapped the spot over his heart. "You can explain to me that the previous two Class Ds were lacking in ability. But can you deceive your own heart?"
"You know it perfectly well. The exam scope I mentioned is just one example. The number of things where you failed to fulfill a homeroom teacher's duty is countless—you know that better than I do."
"Even if you truly believe the previous two Class Ds weren't strong enough to reach Class A, if you had been just a little more diligent, wouldn't those students at least have gained a bit more?"
"I understand this school very well: as long as you make it through the full three years here, no matter if you graduate from Class A or Class D, you'll come away with far more than ordinary high schoolers."
That was how he saw it. With Hoshinomiya around, Yukio didn't dare claim he knew every last thing in Chabashira's heart, but he understood a fair amount.
To avoid exposing her ambition, Chabashira had spent ten years doing the bare minimum: neither teaching the mechanisms of ANHS nor the exam scopes nor how a class should respond—leaving the students to figure it all out themselves.
Hoshinomiya had told Yukio all this, which led the other homeroom teachers to think that, because of what happened ten years ago, Chabashira had simply given up and started slacking—just phoning it in day after day.
Only Hoshinomiya—who shared the same ten-year obsession—was sharp enough to see that Chabashira wasn't slacking; she was quietly storing up strength while waiting for a Class D with enough potential.
Once she found it, she would bare her fangs and drag Class D upward at any cost.
The problem was, while she waited, the previous two Class Ds really were helpless under her inaction.
Chabashira was shaken to the core. Yukio's words rumbled through her mind like a thunderclap from a clear sky, leaving her deeply unsettled.
A heart long blinded by obsession began, under his words, to reflect: when she saw the previous two cohorts were weak overall and simply gave up… was that really right?
No doubt about it—it wasn't. It was a mistake.
Regardless of whether those cohorts had the potential to reach Class A, as a teacher—indeed, as a homeroom teacher—nurturing and educating students was her basic duty.
From a professional standpoint alone, she had failed to do that. It was dereliction of duty.
From the students' standpoint, they should have received guidance from their homeroom teacher—learned as much as possible about ANHS, and grown as much as they could here.
Because of Chabashira's inaction, they lost many chances to grow, and ended up stuck at the bottom of the school, year after year.
At that thought, she couldn't help but sway on her feet—her whole being wavering—her mind alternately denying and acknowledging her errors.
At a glance, she was like a candle guttering in the wind—no force needed, just a slightly louder gust to blow it out.
Even if she didn't want to admit it, even if she resisted reality, she gradually recognized it: she had failed the previous two Class Ds, and she had failed her job.
This kind of mistake ran completely counter to the obsession she'd held for ten years. The clash of positive and negative tore her into confusion.
Her face went pale, her pupils lost focus, and she began shaking her head slightly, murmuring to herself, "No, no, no…"
The slim woman's cigarette she'd only taken a single drag from slipped to the ground and burned out completely.
Seeing this, Yukio sighed. He went into the dorm building's vending area, bought two cans of hot coffee, cracked them both open, and came back to hand one to her.
Chabashira accepted on reflex and seemed to clear her head a little. She looked at Yukio with a gaze as complex as could be; above the first undone button, her collarbone stood out, and her fine white neck lifted high.
Whether she was savoring the coffee or just downing it like booze, she gulped half the can in one go, not caring that it was scalding.
With half a can of heat in her, the warmth spread through her body and finally steadied her spirit a little.
Exhaling a soft "haa" of steam, she set the coffee down and met Yukio's eyes again. In her amber gaze, sorrow pooled. "You're right…"
"I failed the students of the previous two Class Ds."
"If—if you hadn't said it, if this year's Class D still hadn't had enough potential, I might have kept on like this, failing them cohort after cohort."
Seeing she'd finally recognized the problem, Yukio almost wanted to applaud. "So, Chabashira-sensei, you're done lying to yourself?"
"…" She lowered her head and gave a small shake. "Then… what use is it? I only wanted to make up for my first mistake, but I never realized that, in the process of atoning, I committed even more mistakes."
Inwardly, Yukio's respect for her deepened. Before, she'd been blinded by obsession. Now, even though she looked haggard and her eyes were full of sorrow, at least that amber gaze had cleared somewhat.
At the very least, she was no longer the Chabashira who would do anything, heedless, for a single goal. She was slowly becoming the Chabashira who, even while pursuing it, would keep an eye on everything around her.
The shift inside showed in her bearing. The iceberg was still there, but a little of it had melted; a few shoots could break through. Even her expression had softened.
This Chabashira did not bring up the deal again. Instead, she bowed solemnly to her student. "I'm sorry, Yukio. I need a little time now… to calm down."
"I'll… take my leave."
"And… thank you for the coffee."
With that, clutching the can he'd given her, she clicked away in her high heels—"tap, tap"—and left the first-year dorm.
"Heh." Yukio watched her departing back and found himself looking forward to what changes would come once she thought everything through.
It really was something to look forward to.
...
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