Tsunade mirrored herself in the centre of a beautiful hospital office, one of those resembling the pictures she had seen from Japan. While she sorted out her paperwork, listening to the 9th Symphony of Beethoven, an otherworldly and foreign tone she had fallen in love with.
Three kids burst through the window, calling her 'mommy'. They'd run around messing up her things, and she'd have to get angry and physical with them.
'Nawaki Senju, Mikoto Senju and Dan Lux! Go back home right now and stop interrupting my work! If you want to annoy someone, go annoy your dad!'
She had already decided on the names. The kids showed her the tongue and sprawled out of the office, certainly willing to follow her advice and go mess around with their father instead before she got too angry. As they ran out, a happy smile was portrayed on her countenance; it was her ideal paradise.
During the day, many came to visit her, all friends and those important in her heart. Naruto, the 6th Hokage, also came to visit, and they had one of those rows in which she insisted he still hadn't grown a pair while he said she had more years than strands of hair.
Utter paradise.
She let Shizune take over and decided to go rest deep into the evening. She opened one secret door in her office, and on the other side, there was her home. Tsunade bit her lips and walked into the bedroom where she found her husband resting on their bed, naked, waiting for her.
"Come here, Tsunade".
"Yes~".
Things only escalated from that point, turning the peaceful and pleasant dream into a hurricane of lust that did nothing but sate all her inner desires. In reality, Tsunade rubbed her tights together, trying to contain her libido as a lewd scent teased her nostrils subtly. In the dreamland, hands were caressing her, pressing on her neck tightly but not suffocating her.
She felt hands roaming, instinctively she reached forward to her man, that dark skin, those tattoos, everything about him attracted her. Whenever his hands were on her body, she felt a shock of pleasant electrocution that no other man in existence could provide.
"R-Ray... Ray..." As she muttered his name, the lust and passion skyrocketed beyond precedent. Never did she expect anyone to weigh so heavily on her mind. But as much as she'd hate to admit it, there was not a day that naughty boy wasn't in her mind.
...
'What is he doing?'.
'Does he miss me?'.
'When will we see you again?'.
'I want to kiss you...'
Thoughts that she tried to get rid of her mind, just so she could focus on her new job as a Hokage. A job that she previously thought only stupid people would choose to do.
Nevertheless, whenever those thoughts came to mind, they also came alongside the acknowledgement that she was not the only one. She needed him to quench her loneliness, but him... he had several who could.
Approached by Jiraiya every day, Tsunade at once thought with a bit of anger laced between... 'Why can't I too? if he can have many, why can't I? Jiraiya is not a bad man'.
But the thought came laced with so much sadness. He was a friend, he had always been there... but it didn't matter how much she thought about it.
Even in the past, she couldn't look at him that way, more so now, when someone had appeared and was triggering every emotion in her inventory like she was a little girl who was falling in love for the first time.
The butterflies in the stomach, the desire, the lust... they weren't there for Jiraiya. Trying to think deeply, Tsunade thought about Dan one night, about what they had and how she felt.
That was when she gasped, that was when her eyes shook in realisation, 'I-It can't be compared... it is not the same'
The memories of Dan's touch felt dull and devoid of feelings and emotion. It was like being touched by a corpse, as sad as it sounded. There was no passion, no electrocution or energy coursing through every pore of her skin whenever he did so much as whisper how much he loved her.
Tsunade realised what feels for Ray and what she once felt for Dan were two different things, so different in fact that she couldn't even place them together in the same topic.
Love with Ray was like having found her other half, her lifetime companion, someone whom she had no qualms saying she wanted to have a ton of kids with and build a family living together under one roof. As a woman, she felt satisfied, as a wife, she felt satisfied... in the bedroom, she was BEYOND satisfied. Growing older –regardless of how many decades or centuries that would last– was the least she expected.
When she thought about her love for Dan, it felt more like an academic crush if anything... vivacious moments of camaraderie and a sweet romance in the middle of the battlefield shrouded with war. Fond and sweet memories, but a feeling so overshadowed by the strong waves produced by Ray that she couldn't even fathom going for anyone else.
So when she thought about getting back at Ray for flaunting and spreading his attention among his many lovers... she realised she couldn't do it.
'Have I fallen that hard...?'
The realisation of her overwhelming love brought forth only more frustration.
'If he loved me as much as I love him... shouldn't he be satisfied with me?'.
Questions she asked herself daily, venomous thoughts that Tsunade knew would be solved if they just got together and had a heartfelt conversation where she could be reassured, even if a little.
But that prideful side of hers would not allow her to be the one to approach to have that conversation.
'You should retire'.
When she heard Grayfia's words, something broke. Grayfia's words ignited something that had wanted to explode for a long time.
'How dare you say that... I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO RETIRE!? YOU SLUTS SHOULD ALL RETIRE! RAY IS MINE!'
Words that died between her throat and her tongue, she didn't dare say out loud, mostly because she had come to see 'those sluts' as her family at most, friends the least.
Looking close to her, to her side, and realising that even Azrael didn't have those feelings of jealousy made her feel excluded. Sitting in her office, caressing her forehead, and wondering why she was being madly in love and possessive over someone who was radically younger than her.
That junction of feelings met a crescendo when her arousing dream was shattered with the loud moans of the Angel she had been cohabitating with. She opened her eyes and watched her lover fiercely making love with Azrael; those feelings just came crashing down like a rollercoaster out of control.
"Ahn! ahhh! M-My lord!".
He looked so focused, so relentless, so manly. A part of her wanted nothing more than to just start playing with herself and wait her turn, her other part... wanted to kill him.
'If I kill him, no one will take him from me'.
When those thoughts came, Tsunade paused for a moment in realisation and fear... her feelings had gone too far.