King's Cross had barely changed since the time she took the Hogwarts Express twenty years ago. These were the same rails, the same platforms, the same structure. The only things that had changed over the years, resulting from the evolution and progress of Muggles' technologies and science, were the type of trains in station and the clothing of people. But the station itself had remained the same.
They were on September 1, 1991, and Lily Evans Potter was accompanying her son to the Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, where he would take the Hogwarts Express at eleven o'clock, which would bring him to Hogwarts for his first year there. Sirius had wanted to be there, as Harry's godfather, but she begged him to let her live this moment alone with her son. He didn't argue.
"Nervous? Excited?" she asked him.
"Both," he answered, displaying a huge smile she returned.
The visit at Ollivander's stopped to haunt them weeks ago. Lily had written a letter to Dumbledore, instead of visiting him in person this time, and Remus and Sirius made one last visit home before Harry left. All three of them reassured her, going as far as to say this might not be a bad thing that Harry got this wand. But in the end of the day, the wand chose Harry. It fitted him, and this wand just happened to share a feather from the same bird with another wand. Lily had decided to ignore this, and Harry's concern had faded before hers.
Now she was just enjoying the last moments with her son before a very long time as they made their way along the platforms nine and ten.
"Where is Platform Nine and Three-Quarters?" her son asked.
"We're not far." She was counting the pillars until they would reach the good one. There were only a few left.
"Do you think I'll be taken into Gryffindor?"
"No matter the house you're taken into, I'll be proud of you, Harry."
"I just don't want to go in Slytherin."
This was the main thing that worried him, the only cloud obscuring the horizon. Harry knew enough of their world to be aware that all wizards who were masters of dark magic came from Slytherin, or almost all of them. And since his meeting with the Malfoy boy, he was even more afraid to end in this house. Lily had to reassure him, but the truth was she was worried as well. Between the accident with the boa and Ollivander's wand, a part of her dreaded that her son would end up in this house ever since he shared his own doubts with her. But she had to be strong for him, and to believe that everything would go well in the end.
"Here we are," Lily said.
The barrier was just in front of them, but five people were already there. From the looks of it, they seemed to be a mother with five of her children.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," said one of them. "Honestly, woman, call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?"
Lily indeed recognized that the two oldest boys were identical, certainly twins. They had a little brother and a sister. Their mother was a plump and small woman. All of them displayed such fiery red hair that Lily's would have seemed black in comparison.
"Sorry, George, dear," the mother said.
"Only joking. I am Fred."
Lily and Harry looked at each other, barely able to not laugh aloud. In the meantime, the twins had run to the barrier and crossed it. They disappeared behind it, no one around realizing what had just happened. Lily watched the confused look on Harry's face. She had the same reaction the first time she came, which was nothing compared to the reactions Petunia and their parents had.
"Your turn, Ron," the mother told her youngest son. He seemed scared, but he ran to the barrier and got through it. "You come with me now, Ginny."
And the mother and the little girl were gone as well.
"It's our turn," Lily stated as a matter of fact. Harry positioned his trolley in front of the pillar. She felt Harry tense. "Together, now."
"Mom." He made a step back, causing Lily's hand she placed on his back to leave its place. "Can I try... alone?"
His request wasn't without effect on Lily, but she stepped away all the same. "Of course, if you want."
She smiled to him encouragingly. Harry stared at the barrier, breathed deeply, and Lily saw the flash of determination in his face. He ran at full speed towards the wall. And he got through it.
Lily exhaled in relief. She knew he risked nothing here, but with the recent events, this was just encouraging and comforting for her that everything was normal and alright. She approached the barrier as well and crossed it.
Harry was staring in marvel at the red steam engine on the rails of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters as students, parents and staff pushed each other. Lily left him to contemplate this view. He would never look again at the train the same way he did today. After a moment, though she had to place her hand on his shoulder. They were not early, and the train would leave in about fifteen minutes.
On their way to the last carriages of the train, Lily spotted someone she knew. The old woman was speaking to a boy of Harry's age. He was complaining that he lost his toad.
"Augusta." Lily called her. The old woman turned to her. An expression of complete shock, then followed by a warm smile followed.
"Lily. It's been so long." She looked at Harry. "And this must be..."
"My son, Harry. Harry, this is Augusta Longbottom. She is a very old friend."
"Be careful, little girl, when you say very old friend."
"Forgive me, Augusta." Lily looked at Augusta's grandson. "And you must be Nev..."
"I have to find Trevor!"
He jumped into the carriage without saying goodbye. Augusta raised her hands to the sky. "He always loses everything, including this toad he loves so much," the old woman said before returning her attention to Harry. "So, you are Harry Potter?"
"Augusta, be careful!" Lily berated her.
"Sorry, I didn't know it was forbidden to call people by their name. So, this is your first year as well, young man?"
"Yes," he replied. "Happy to meet you."
They shook hands. "Well, your son has more manners than you do, Lily. Now, excuse me, my grandson needs me before he forgets something else. We'll have time to catch up later."
Lily recognized she was right. Time didn't stop. She and Harry resumed their road.
"You knew this old woman?" Harry asked her once they were out of earshot.
"Now you call her old when she's not here?" She ruffled his hair again, which he tried to avoid without success, eliciting another laugh from her son. "Yes, I know her. But I knew her son and his wife even better. They were Aurors, and members of the Order of the Phoenix as well."
"And where are they today?"
"We don't have time for this. This carriage has many compartments free. We'll get your things in there."
"I'll get it inside myself," he said.
And again, Lily ended up looking at her son carrying his heavy trunk inside the train, with difficulty, but he did it. It was as if he tried to distance himself from her. Lily tried to chase this idea from her mind. This was supposed to be a happy day, the first day of her son at Hogwarts. She was supposed to be happy for him, not imagine herself grieving a son she still had.
"First to leave?" a voice asked close to her. Lily turned to find herself next to the plump woman with red hair she saw earlier.
"Yes. The first and only one," she replied.
"If that can reassure you, I cried the day my Bill left on that train. I could barely realize that he had grown so quickly. I had the impression he was still a baby yesterday." This was exactly how Lily felt right now. "But then life went on, and now my sixth son is entering to Hogwarts today."
"You have seven children?" Lily asked, impressed.
"Yes. Bill and Charlie have left school. One is in Egypt, the other one in Romania. Percy is the elder at Hogwarts now, and then there's Fred and George, my twins, and Ronald."
"And this pretty little girl I see next to you?" Lily asked, laying her eyes on the one she knew was called Ginny.
"This is Ginny, the youngest of the family. She will go to Hogwarts next year."
"I want to go this year, mom," the little girl with red hair just as bright as her mother said.
"You'll goo next year, Ginny. Don't be too eager."
"Your name is Ginny?" Lily asked her. That brought the attention of the little girl. Lily knelt to be at her level. "Listen, your years before Hogwarts are just as important as those you will spend there. So enjoy them. Use this time for yourself. I promise, you won't have much time for yourself after you go on that train next year."
Ginny nodded. Looking more closely to her, her hair seemed even more flaming red than Lily first thought. She had freckles and brown eyes, and she was quite pretty. Lily had the strange sensation she would become a beauty as she grew up.
"Mom." Her son's voice took away her attention from the little girl. She stood up as Harry came to recover Hedwig's cage. "I'm ready. It's time."
They stood there, in front of each other, until they couldn't support it anymore and they threw themselves into each other's arms. Harry was so small, and yet he had grown so much over the years. Lily fought to keep her tears at bay.
"Everything's going to be alright. If there's any problem, you write to me. Use Hedwig's to send me letters."
"Yes, Mom." His words were muffled by her robe. She broke the embrace.
"Don't forget to write to me every week."
"I won't. I will not forget, I mean," he then added.
She laughed nervously one last time. She kissed him on the forehead, then ruffled his hair one last time. "Go, now. Enjoy your time at Hogwarts. Make friends there."
He smiled at her one last time and went into the train. She watched him go and looked at the train for long moments until she was taken out of her reverie.
"Everything will be fine. Hogwarts is the best place in the world for young wizards like them."
She turned towards the woman with red hair. "Thank you."
"But where are my manners? My is name is Molly. Molly Weasley."
"Lily Evans."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lily."
As usual, the use of her maiden name prevented people from establishing a connection between her and the Potter name. If she had used her husband's family name, things might have gone differently, but the events took place long ago, and the name of Evans was seldom mentioned. It was the name of her son who was famous above all else today, and not hers. Lily realized something
"Your husband is not with you?"
"No. He had too much work. He works at the Ministry of Magic."
"It's sad that he cannot see his sons go to school."
"Well, on the other hand, he saw so many of them leave, it's become quite usual. What about your own husband, Lily? Is he working as well?"
Lily's mood soured again. It didn't take much for her to get emotional right now. "He's dead."
Molly Weasley's mouth became a perfect circle. "Oh, I'm truly sorry."
"It's fine, you couldn't know. I raised... my son alone." She almost said his first name. Had she done so, the woman in front of her might have guessed who she was and who her son was.
"It must have been hard."
"Yes. But he's my reason to live."
Molly sent her a smile to acknowledge she understood. Lily supposed that a woman with seven children could understand that.
"Mom, they're back," the little Ginny said.
Indeed, the children of Molly Weasley, who Lily guessed were, from the eldest to the youngest, Percy, Fred, George, Ronald and Ginny, had come back to say their farewells. Lily looked at her watch. They only had a few minutes left.
She stayed aside from their final conversation. As a mother, she owed another mother some alone time with her children before they left for an entire year. Still, being next to them, she could hardly miss the handkerchief Molly took out, which she finally used to rub the nose of her youngest son. She kissed the elder, who was prefect, on the cheek, then warned her twins to not blow up a toilet. The twins swore they never did that, but that it was an excellent idea. More seriously, the mother asked the twins to watch over their little brother. Lily wished in that instant Harry had a brother, though she may not have been reassured if he had been like those two. But then the conversation took a turn Lily didn't expect.
"Hey, Mom, guess what? Guess who we just met on the train?" one of the twins said.
"Who?" their mother asked.
"Harry Potter."
At her son's name, Lily took a sharp breath. This was it, the moment she dreaded so much. She knew it was inevitable, that people at Hogwarts would know who Harry was. Even if he managed to remain discreet on the train, there was the Sorting, during which each new student was called by his name in front of the whole school before the Sorting Hat chose the House they would belong to. Still, she dreaded this moment. Her son's time away from fame was over.
Another surprise was the first person who reacted to this news.
"Oh, Mom, can I go on the train and see him? Mom, oh please..."
"Ginny!" her mother berated the little girl. "That poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo."
Lily couldn't tell how grateful she was to Molly Weasley in this very instant. However, the next words that were said didn't sooth her.
"Is he really Harry Potter, Fred? How do you know?" Molly asked.
"We asked him. We saw his scar." That damn scar! Harry had taken the habit, on Lily's initiative, to hide his scar behind his hair that fell on his forehead. His hair probably slipped, and they saw his front. "It's really there, like lightning. Do you think he remembers the face of You-Know-Who when he killed him?" Fred asked.
Lily was immediately brought back to that night when Voldemort tried to murder her son. He had done it under her eyes, while she was unable to move, her body broken beyond repair by Muggles' standards. She watched, powerless, as red eyes on a snake's face stared at Harry with a hatred she never witnessed, and a lust to kill that wasn't human, while white hands like spiders pointed the Killing Curse right where Harry now displayed his scar.
These were memories she pushed back. She tried to forget them, to focus on the present and future, on Harry. As she tried to get a hold on herself, the Weasley brothers went on the train as he was about to leave, promising their little sister who just started crying that they would send her lots of owls, and a Hogwarts toilet seat. Lily caught her son who looked through the window of his compartment at her, swinging his hand to tell her goodbye. Lily raised her hand as well while the Hogwarts Express moved forward. Ginny Weasley ran to keep up with the train as long as she could, and Lily watched her son go.
She stayed on the platform, unmoving, for a very long time, long after the train was gone and nowhere to see. And again, it was Molly Weasley who brought her back to the reality.
"Lily."
She realized she was crying. She hid her face. She never cried in public. She wasn't that kind of person. But Molly Weasley handed her a handkerchief, which Lily accepted after the woman insisted.
"I'm sorry. I feel so pathetic," Lily said as she gave back the handkerchief.
"No, not at all. It's normal, perfectly normal. Your son just left. It's normal that you're sad about it."
If only she knew. She wasn't only crying because of Harry. It was about James, about that night that came back to her, about all her uncertainties for the future, about what she would do now without her son, without a reason to go forward.
"I'm bringing Ginny to eat an ice cream cone. Muggles can sometimes prepare very delicious food. You want to come with us?" Molly offered.
"Thank you, but... I think I'll just go back home. I need to be alone."
"Okay. I can follow for a while if you want," she further offered.
"No, please. I need to be alone."
On that, Lily left. She travelled quickly through the magic platform, got through the barrier and went back to her car, not caring if someone saw. She shoved a few people on her way, but never stopped. And once she was inside her car, she burst into tears, and she cried until there were no tears left inside of her.