Chapter 17 - A Christmas Ghost Part 2

AUTHOR'S NOTES: (Nervous laughter) it's been how long? A full year?!😅 um…. I wanna say sorry, but it would definitely not suffice.

But alas, I'm here. Never really left, but I am, in fact, still alive. Grad school is soul draining. But! The good news is that I'm exactly half way through my degree! I survived this latest semester and even with better grades then the semester before wguch totally kicked my ass. Y'all, the way I cried when I saw I passed had my mom panicking 😂 I even got a job!

All this to say that I've not quite got the AO3 curse but shuts been busy anyway. Please forgive me? Hopefully the next chapters come easier and with less effort cuz this was a doozy ngl.

Y'all know the drill by There are officially 8 parts to this series, so if you enjoy reading this soul's journey through the cycle of reincarnation across the multiverse, maybe check them out? Though, all fics can be read independently too!

As always, thank you guys for showing your love for my work, and for being so patient with me. I hope yall enjoy and leave your thoughts down below! Hearing from you guys is my favorite part.

Discord! I have started releasing chapter previews there, and it's chill. Some of you lovely readers even help me brainstorm!

https://discord.gg/XhqUDAnbsH

XXXXXLINXXXXX

"Ya know, Lin actually looks like he would make a good dad," Mai's voice drifts to me from near the doorway.

I shoot Tsukiyo an incredulous look only to feel my cheeks hear up at the sweet look on her face, her smile velvet soft as the possessed child sloppily braids some of her long hair. "I agree with her. You're doing wonderfully.

"You can't be serious."

I remember the harshness of my own parents. My father's hands had always been cruel and only ever brought me pain, and mother had… mother had hurt me in other ways in her quest to escape her own reality. In the end, her sending me to my grandmother had been the kindest thing she'd ever done for me. After all, it's how I met the twins and the Davis family.

"Lin?"

I blink back to the present, brown and silver eyes meeting my own. "Apologies. My mind wondered. I…. I don't think I'd be a good parent."

Tsukiyo tilts her head, eyes feeling like they could bore into my soul. The child releases her long tresses and plops back into my lap, my arms going to steady them, before they hurt themselves.I look up when I hear my friend, because that's what she was, giggling softly. "You may have everyone, including yourself, fooled with that stoic persona of yours, but I know better. Your heart is so very warm."

She reaches out slowly, giving me time to move away as she tugs softly on the hair hiding my eye, lips quirked cheekily and it makes my heart stumble over itself a bit. 

Oliver walks over with the team, Ayako with a video camera and a wicked grin on her face that has my cheeks burning more, but I'm distracted by the odd tension between Tsukiyo and Oliver, who seems to be avoiding her sharp gaze.

I narrow my eyes wondering if they had another fight, but before I can inquire, Naru is ordering us away to start the excursion.

XXXXXXXXXX

Tsukiyo keeps her arm threaded through mine as John begins his prayer, the possessed child pressed back against my legs. I glance at her when her grip tightens suddenly around my forearm and while Tsukiyo's touch doesn't particularly bother me, it does catch my attention. Leaning down, I whisper near her ear, catching the herbal scent of her hair.

"What's wrong?"

She frowns, turning slightly toward me, her warm breath ghosting across my cheek. "I'm not sure. But I don't think this exorcism is going to go the way we're hoping."

Before I can reply, John finishes his prayer. The child slumps forward, suddenly limp. Tsukiyo and I move at the same time, catching him and lowering him gently to the floor.

Above us, the lights begin to flicker violently and knocking sounds vibrate across the walls and ceiling. Quickly, I push my hair aside and close my normal eye, opening the one attuned to electromagnetic waves and psychic phenomena. The room floods with spiritual energy, thick and volatile ribbons of swirling color, and I curse under my breath, readying myself in case I need to summon my shikigami. 

I don't want to hurt Kenji's spirit, but I may not have a choice.

"No."

The word slices through the air like a blade.

The room stills instantly. I flick my open eye toward Tsukiyo, wincing as her power dances around her. Like Naru and Gene, she's powerful, her spiritual density sometimes making her hard to look at, but Tsukiyo is also a bit different then them. Unlike Oliver or Gene, her energy isn't contained within her body. It swirls and cloaks her, extending far beyond her skin, and staring too long makes my head ache.

Now, that energy darkens—silvery blue shifting into deep charcoal—as shadows swallow the room. She nudges the child on the floor toward me before standing. Calmly, she unhooks her Kitsune mask from her waist and slides it over her face before stepping forward, her gaze locked sharply somewhere near Monk and Mai.

The room is silent, everyone frozen as her power seems to sharpen under the aid of the mask, not growing less powerful, but rather its movement shifting to something more purposeful. Tsukiyo stops in front of her sister just as Mai sways, catching her shoulders. "No, child," she repeats, sounding vaguely chiding. "Leave Mai be. She doesn't know how to help you—not yet."

Gene curses under his breath, eyes laser focused on the scene, Naru taking his hand grimly in case the two need to use Naru's PK to subdue the ghost. "Kenji's trying to possess Mai."

Monk frowns, hovering closer to the girls protectively. "Why Mai? Why not Gene, Hime, or Masako? They're fully trained mediums."

Gene shrugs. "Maybe he resonated with Mai's personality. Or maybe she was just less mentally and psychically guarded than we are."

Masako nods. "It took me several years of training before I could guard myself against spirits. Mai is still learning, so it's far easier to possess her."

"Mai has a beautiful soul. It makes sense for spirits to be drawn to her unguarded warmth, whereas spirits tend to be intimidated by me at first," Tsukiyo adds softly, cupping her sister's face and addressing the child hiding in Mai's body. "I know I seem overwhelming to your eyes… but you're safe here. Come walk with me instead, little one."

It takes a few moments—Tsukiyo coaxing the spirit with patient gentleness—before Kenji releases Mai. Monk and John catching her as she sags. To my eye's perception, the spirit appears looking like a shadow made of light as it manifests, hesitating only a second before falling forward into Tsukiyo's open arms, sinking beneath her skin.

Tsukiyo sways. Oliver is instantly there, wrapping an arm around her as her head dips forward though she stays standing. I lift the living child leaning against me up and pass him to Ayako to check over and to make sure the possession hadn't caused him any harm. Then I step up to stand next to Oliver and Tsukiyo, taking her other arm andcsonecof her weight.

"Tsukiyo?" Oliver asks, the concern audible. Clearly whatever fight they had hadn't harmed the bond I've seen growing between them.

Tsukiyi lifts her head slowly, blinking drowsily and I found it rather adorable. "I'm here. Kenji, too."

"Wait—what?" Gene blurts. "How are you doing that?"

Ayako looks between Gene, Masako, and Tsukiyo, stunned. "I didn't understand. What is she doing, exactly?"

"She's…" Masako starts, then trails off, speechless.

"I'm channeling Kenji without letting him possess me," Tsukiyo explains, extracting herself from Oliver, shooting him a small thankful smile,and turns to me instead. "We've come to an agreement, of sorts."

Tsukiyo extends her hand, palm up, eyes serious as they seek my own. When she next speaks, her voice hides an almost song-like quality. "Lin, Kenji wants to be close to you. He's starting to realize you aren't his dad, but he is still seeking comfort from you. Will you be able to help me until he's found?"

I stare at her offered hand, recognizing the careful wording for the potential out it is. She knows I'm not good with physical touch—and she's letting me choose to initiate or not, whether to let Kenji draw comfort from me through her or whether to have her hold the child spirit back for my own ease.

I meet her mismatched eyes with my own and see the absence of any judgment for my own weakness, selfishness, and hesitation at helping this young ghost. Instead, there is merely a deep, intrinsic understanding that this might be too much for me no matter how much I actually want to help this spirit. I feel my shoulders loosen. Allowing myself to be clung to for a long period of time won't be easy, but this lost child needs help, and I think if it's Tsukiyo's touch, who I have long since gotten used to, I could bear it for a while.

I take her hand, warm and smooth, her fingernails grazing over the thin skin of my wrist, goose bumps in their wake

My breath hitches when she laces our fingers together. She grins— briefly childlike, then smoothing into something softer and more familiar.

Surprisingly, the sensation of phantom pain and disgust I often feel where my skin touches another doesn't appear. Before now, I would feel it whenever someone who wasn't my grandmother, Luella, Martin, Gene, or Oliver would touch me. I often have to mentally battle myself until I can force the sensation down enough to ignore it, avoiding skin contact whenever possible and letting the sensation fade on its own. This time, however, there is nothing. It seems she's become someone dear to me when I wasn't paying attention.

With a hum, Tsukiyo turns back to our wide-eyed teammates, slipping her free arm snugly around mine and holding my arm against her chest making my cheeks heat up again even though I know it's just for the ghost. "All right, everyone. Kenji wants us to find him. So let's play a game."

XXXXXTSUKIYOXXXXX

I nuzzle my cheek briefly against Lin's bicep before catching myself and offering him an apologetic look. He nods, accepting it, though he doesn't quite meet my eyes and I don't think my poor sight is making me imagine the faint flush on his cheeks and ears.

Guilt tugs at me. I know how difficult this is for him. Lin rarely touches anyone. Heck, it took him a while just to get used to me holding his arm so he could guide me, and that doesn't even require skin to skin contact, not to mention he initially started doing it as compensation for our disastrous first meeting. I only hope we can finish this quickly without asking more of him than he's already giving.

Outside, Naru directs us to spread out around the church grounds, even having us recruit the kids. Since one theory is that Kenji fell and drowned in the aqueduct, we thought it would be best for our group to start at the back of the church where the small water way runs. The December air is sharp, the children, my little brother included, having gone inside as the temperature drops, their job is to search the inside of the church. I breathe it before I pick up a stick and turn inward, drawing my awareness back to the child nestled within me, my soul carefully cradling Kenji's, guarding and comforting at the same time.

I can feel it then, the loneliness and hope of a child who misses their parents so desperately, the desire to be found because he thinks that being found means he can return to the church, the place he was told to wait for his father. Kenji was so scared he was going to be lost forever that he kept banging his stick, hoping someone would finally come to end the game he's been playing for 30 years.

It tears at my heart.

Are you ready, Kenji? I ask silently, holding the young soul against my own with as much tenderness as I can manage.

Kenji turns my head to look at Lin, who gives him a tiny, faint little smile. Kenji beams, bright and sudden as he urges me to hug Lin. I chuckle feeling Lin gently return the embrace, resting his jaw on my head, his scent of ink and incense calming. Then, I step back, leaving our hands locked as Kenji reaches forward with a delighted little giggle. My hand moves without resistance as he guides it, the stick striking the wall of the storage shed with a hollow knocking sound three times. 

It echoes across the church grounds, but when I stop knocking, the sound continues without me, Kenji guiding the way as the sound seems to travel away from us, nearer the front of the church.

"Follow it!" I call, tugging on Lin's arm as I break into a jog.

Monk and John sprint ahead, Mai and Masako working together to push Gene along in his wheel chair, actually making the boy laugh in surprised amusement. Ayako struts after us, not quite running, but a power walk that's impressive enough considering her heels. Naru, however, keeps pace with Lin and I. 

"Spread out," Naru orders as we make it to the front of the cathedral. "Where is it coming from?"

"It's definitely not here," Monk calls back, jogging around the western tree line before returning.

"Not here either," John announces from the other side of the clearing. "I think we can rule out the forest entirely!"

"I don't think it's inside, either!" Mai calls, after ducking her head inside the door to ask a few kids roaming near the entrance to confirm. "But it sounds close!"

We all gather around, the sound of the stick slowly stopping as we confusedly search for its origin somewhere near the front door. I'm just about to ask Kenji to knock using the stick again when the sound of wood tapping stone occurs once more.

As one, we look heavenward. 

Cold seeps into my chest as the sound repeats, unmistakably coming from above.

"What?" I whisper, doubt creeping in. "Did I… did I do it wrong? Should I ask Kenji?"

"No," Lin says quietly, his voice steady even as his fingers tighten around mine. "I think we found him." 

The sound of Kenji's stick rings out one final time, a hush falling over us like the slowly drifting snowflakes around us. 

Confused, I squinted up at the white church, the bright winter sun glancing off the snow slowly building up on the ground and reflecting back, making it impossible for me to see past the bright glare to what the others were looking at. 

Lin gestures with his chin, jaw set firmly. "Do you see the alcoves? Those are statues."

Understanding settles like ash in my lungs.

"He's right there tucked next to the statue on the left," Monk explains, voice soft and sad. "He's been right there the whole time."

John swallows hard. "…Father Tojo mentioned renovations were being done and that the night Kenji disappeared, a bunch of scaffolding had collapsed due to a storm. Kenji must have hidden up there… and gotten stuck. No one would have thought to look. Not up there."

Kenji's memories soak into me from where our souls are pressed together. I can remember that night like it had been I who lived it—how the air had stilled, how sound had thinned until even fear had nowhere to go.

He had waited in that quiet. His hands had ached with pain before going numb in the cold, stomach rumbling from hunger and no voice to call out or stick to hit even though he could see people looking for him down below. Kenji had tucked himself against the bottom of the statue, trying to shield himself from rain that landed like shards of glass. Kenji had pleaded to be found, to be saved, desperately wishing even in his last moments that his father would come for him. He had cried as he watched the searchers get farther and farther away, knowing he needed to make a sound, but unable to call out. He had tried anyway, beating his hands on the stone until they were bloody and stomping his little shoes, but no one could hear past the icy rain and finally, after hours and dreaming of his father, Kenji had simply…. Drifted away.

Finding him hurt because it meant knowing all of that. But it also meant the cold no longer had him. The silence no longer kept him. And soon, Kenji would see his father again.

Kenji, I whisper inwardly, my heart breaking open, we found you, sweetheart. The game is over.

He clings to me then—not with fear, but with the instinct of a child who had waited far too long to be held. The knowledge of it presses in on me, heavy and unbearable.

"It's okay now," I murmur aloud, embracing his soul as burning tear tracks carve their way down my cheeks. "You aren't lost, now. It's time to see your father again."

The world tears itself open in a now familiar way, the endless Beyond peaking through.

Death saunters over, his hands in his pockets, his leather trench coat trimmed in a fluffy black fur that hadn't been there before, and I wonder idly if my old friend was dressing for the weather or for the small child clinging to me. Death settles next to me, a sharp, onyx nailed hand briefly brushing one of my wet cheeks, his sharp teeth hidden behind a soft smile as though even Death is being gentle here.

Judging from the strangled noise that leaves Gene, though, I guess it didn't completely work. Mehrally, I note that it's intersecting that the primordial is allowing himself to be seen by the medium.

With only a second of hesitation, Kenji slips free of me. The sensation is disorienting—like the sudden absence of weight, like being turned upside down—and Lin steadies me. The child manifests, glowing softly. I sink to my knees to meet him eye to eye, ignoring the cold wetness of the snow soaking into my knees.

Up close, Kenji looks so small.

He stares at Death, uncertainty flickering across his face before looking at me again, searching. 

I nod, swallowing past the ache in my throat.

Kenji looks at Lin.

"Thank you."

The words are small and simple, but honest. It carries everything he never got to say. 

Lin nods, breath catching as Kenji beams innocently at him before placing his hand in Death's. Death's smile curves into something almost tender and together they step through the doorway, the entity blowing me a cheeky kiss on his way out.

The stars fold closed and the snow keeps falling.

"Lin?" I say softly, rising as the others huddle together, talking softly.

He startles, then exhales, shoulders lifting and falling. 

"Sorry. I'm—" He stops himself, eyes fixed somewhere far past me. "I'm fine."

I smile a little. "You don't have to be."

I step closer, careful not to crowd him. Close enough that the edge of my sleeve brushes his coat, but not touching—not really. I've learned where his lines are by now, and don't want to push him anymore today.

"You did something very kind tonight," I tell him.

He frowns, embarrassed. "I didn't do much."

I turn to face him fully. He looks tired in a way that has nothing to do with sleep, clearly wrung out. "You let a frightened child cling to you," I remind. "You comforted him and let him feel as though his father had returned to him, if only for a moment."

Lin's jaw tightens as he looks away, but I tug on his sleeve, drawing his gaze back to me.

"And you did it," I add, softer still, "despite how much you dislike being touched."

"It was only right I sucked it up for a few minutes," he says quickly, shaking his hair. "He needed—"

"I know," I interrupt. "That's why it matters."

He tilts his head up, steam billowing out from his long exhale before he speaks. "You made it easier," he admits quietly. "I've gotten used to you. I… I consider you a friend. I don't think I could've done it so easily had it been someone I didn't trust."

The words land more heavily between us than he seems to intend. I feel warmth bloom in my chest, fondness and gratitude filling me.

"I'm glad," I murmur, bumping our shoulders together lightly.

We stand like that for a moment, the space between us filled with a quiet understanding. And when he offers me his arm, I take it, letting him lead me to our friends.

XXXXXXXXXX

We spend a few more hours at the church, helping the kids get ready for midnight mass and playing with them, Sora having made several new friends while we were off ghost hunting. But Mai seems to have succeeded in convincing Naru that a Christmas party is in order and we find ourselves returning to SPR where Luella and Martin have somehow managed to whip up an entire Christmas feast in our absence. 

The office is loud in that easy, cluttered way places get when so many different personalities somehow stumble into becoming friends—too many voices, too much laughter, the Christmas lights blinking at slightly different rhythms all around us. Gene is conspiring with Mai about the music, trying to find the most annoying Christmas songs they can. Masako hovers near Ayako, watching with entertainment as the priestess and Monk bicker like usual, both nagging the other about celebrating Christmas despite not being Christians. Meanwhile, Luella and Martin are dousing everyone around them in parental affection, stuffing them repeatedly with food, my little brother Sora following Luella about like he thinks she hung the stars. 

It feels good. Warm and safe. It's the first Christmas I've had in years that was more than just my siblings and the bare minimum.

Naru is sitting with Lin, shoulders pressed casually together as they talk quietly, eyes ever watchful but relaxed in a way they rarely are, but when I pass too closely by Naru's chair and the scientist's eyes flick toward me and then away, I'm able to feel the upset still there.

So I steal him.

I catch his sleeve the next time he passes on his way for a tea refill. "Come help me for a second." 

When I turn on heel without hesitation, he reluctantly follows me down the hall, the noise dulling as the door to the equipment room clicks shut behind us.

For a second, neither of us speaks.

"I wanted to talk to you about this morning," I announce, squaring my shoulders as I cross my arms firmly.

Naru's attention snaps fully onto me, posture stiff and defensive. "There isn't anything to talk about."

"Unless I misread the situation entirely, you're interested in me. I realize you might've taken my actions as a rejection." I hesitate. "That… wasn't my intention."

He stills entirely, voice just a hint too sharp, the sound of storm sirens ringing in my head, a warning not to push him when he's feeling hurt and vulnerable by my presumed rejection. "I don't need you to sugar coat it if you don't like me romantically."

I blink, surprised by the insecurity betrayed by his words, especially since they came from the one nicknamed Naru the Narcissist. "I'm not trying to placate you, Naru. You just surprised me a bit and I needed a moment to process."

He studies me, unreadable. Then something shifts—his mouth curves, slow and wicked, and he takes a very deliberate step closer, silently claiming the space for himself. It isn't enough to trap me but enough that I can feel the heat of his body, intense and quietly demanding. From this distance, I can see the dark blue of his eyes glitter dangerously, leaving me slightly off balance. 

If earlier Naru felt like the moments before a great storm brought down a disaster, now he is a tsunami, rising tall and proud and ready to consume everything in its path. Brows furrowing, I wonder at the sheer hunger there and why it felt like I was what he wanted to devour in deep blue depths,

"From where I was standing," he says quietly, eyes burning into me, clear and endless, "you looked like you were desperate to get away from me."

I wince. " It was nothing like that, I promise. You didn't make me uncomfortable or anything. I was just caught off guard."

He stalks forward another step and I find myself backing against the wall behind me. Despite the confined space and the vague sensation of him practically hunting me, all I can really feel is the first stirrings of excitement, my eyes widening as he looms over me, slowly caging me. Perhaps it should have made me claustrophobic and uncomfortable, but this is Natu, someone I couldn't help but trust. 

Naru's gaze drops for half a second before lifting again, darker now as he rests a hand above my head, leaning down until our eyes can meet, trapping me in his whirlpool eyes. "If you need time to think it over, I don't mind being patient," he murmurs. "But, I do mind being dismissed."

I blink, reeling by his blatant flirting, having never really expected him to be the type to do so. 

I contemplate him for a moment longer before stating, "I'm not dismissing you. You're my friend and you matter to me. But there are things we need to discuss before I even consider anything beyond that."

The air crackles with an unexpected level of electricity as Naru reaches out slowly, giving me time to move, curling a strand of my hair around his fingers, and the move sends a shiver down my spine. His eyes are lidded and sultry in a way that makes me want to burst into hysterical giggles, not because it is funny, but because it is so unexpected of the usually serious and stoic man. His breath warms my skin as he asks, "Is this okay?"

I nod, drowning in him entirely as I feel out the power hidden under his skin calling out to me, the rush of it always a bit intoxicating. I cross my arms tighter in an effort to ignore his warmth, the smell of his cologne and tea making me feel warm and fuzzy. His smirk grows wider as he shifts until his chest is pressing lightly into my folded arms, voice dropping to a nearcwhisoer. "What exactly do you think we need to discuss? Right now, you don't seem particularly against a relationship between us."

"I just… haven't thought about you like this before." I admit before adding, bluntly, "Honestly? I thought you were already with Lin."

That startles him.

"With—what?" His brows knit, genuinely thrown, and damn if it isn't one of my favorite expressions to see on the fucker.

"You two are close," I say, shrugging slightly, my lips fighting to contain a grin at his bewildered face. "You watch him like he's the only thing keeping you upright some days, especially back when Gene was still missing. I assumed."

He exhales a short laugh, rubbing a hand along his jaw. "I don't… I hadn't really considered a relationship with Lin, or anyone really. Not before this."

He looks thoughtful for a moment, then glances back at me, something thoughtful and hesitant lighting his eyes. "Lin is… important. I'm… not opposed, I don't think," he adds, eyes widening at his own admission.

"Oh?" I say, a grin twitching at my lips as I drop my arms to pat his shoulder comfortingly, letting my clear acceptance settle the torrid waves of his emotions. "Lin is pretty amazing. I don't blame you at all."

He smirks, shaking his head. "Interesting. You may have just helped me learn something about myself. I have never really considered that I might not be exclusively attracted to women. I'll have to think about it, but would you be upset if I said I wanted more with you both?"

I burst into laughter, tossing my head back to rest against the wall, baffled and amused by the wild way this conversation keeps swerving. Only Naru would have a revelation about his sexuality and that he had a crush on one of his friends and immediately decide to act on it with no hesitation. Only he would be this straightforward with what he wants, social niceties be damned. Most people would assume they had to choose and hide their conflicted feelings about which one of us to pursue, but he didn't even consider it.

Someone else might have been offended by his words, but the honesty was refreshing, especially because I didn't think Naru was capable of such an emotionally mature confession. So, after thinking it over, I come to a decision. I have been in poly relationships before, so the idea isn't completely foreign to me. And it was Lin, someone I genuinely cared for. "We can talk about that when- if- it comes up, assuming Lin is interested and I agree to this. I still have to think it over. It still feels like this came out of nowhere."

He smirks with all the audacity I'm used to from him and I already know poor Lin is going to be as vigorously pursued as me without half the warning, the poor bastard. I silently wish him luck, amused.

Long fingers curling around one of my wrists draw me out of my musing. Naru looks me dead in the eye as he entwines our fingers, lifting my hand to press his lips to the back of my palm, leaving my stomach swooping with butterflies I haven't felt before in this lifetime.

He chuckles, low and husky, his satisfaction and a hint of desire washing over me like lapping waves. Gods, I knew from our first meeting in my school that Naru is the type that knows how to use his looks when it benefits him, but this is fucking ridiculous.

"I don't know exactly how or when you got under my skin. It took me a while to realize how important you are to me, how much I want to keep you by my side. But now that I figured it out, well,…. I'm sure you know how determined and thorough I can be. You lot joke I'm a narcissist, but you're not wrong about my ambition and greed. I won't settle for anything less than the outcome I'm aiming for," he purrs, voice dark like melted chocolate as he presses his mouth hotly to my hand again, electricity racing over my skin from the point of contact. "So unless you tell me you aren't interested, that you don't want me like this, I'll just persuade you."

I look at him, dumbfounded. "A-are you seriously telling me you're going to be doing your best to straight up seduce me?!"

He smiles prettily at me. "I prefer to consider it 'wooing' or 'courting', but yes."

He shifts ever closer, our interlocked hands the only thing between our chests pressing together, warm breath fanning across my cheeks, inviting and tempting.

"There's something else," I blurt, pulling away before I can be distracted by him again. "Something I need to tell you before anything goes any further."

"What is it?" He asks unfazed as he moves just enough to give me space, though his hand is still entwined with mine.

"I'm a reincarnator." I don't dress it up. I never bother to.

"I remember my past lives," I continue, swallowing. "I'm still seventeen, but in some ways, I'm also ancient. Because of that, I'm…wrong, damaged in ways you can't even begin to guess at."

My hands twist together, gaze falling to look at the way his chest falls and rises steadily in front of me, too nervous to look him in the eye. "Getting into a relationship without telling you that—without giving you the chance to decide if you want to deal with it—would feel wrong, gross even."

The silence stretches.

He doesn't joke or interrupt. But I feel his gaze on me, focused in a way that makes my pulse stumble.

"So," he says finally, "you're not hesitating because you don't want me, or my interest in Lin bothers you."

I sputter, head whipping up to look at him again. "That's what you got out of my words?! Seriously?!"

He scoffs, reaching up to fiddle with my hair again, but his eyes are warm, his smile soft in a way I haven't ever seen directed at me like this. "I've been trying to figure out the mystery of you since I hired you. I had considered reincarnation as one of the theories for your strangeness since there is significant scientific documentation of people remembering past lives, but I had yet to test it."

I huff a laugh at this ridiculous man. Naru pauses then, suddenly hesitant before continuing. "…Besides, I decided after… after I didn't believe you about Gene that I wouldn't ever distrust you again." 

My face softens and I have to resist the urge to lean into him. Of course, because he's Naru, he ruins it with snark the moment I start feeling sappy. "I told you, I'm a genius and I'd figure you out."

I push him away with a groan, ignoring his laughter as I rub my face, trying to fight off my own mirth. "Whatever. In the end, you didn't figure out shit before I told you, so you can shove it. But, seriously,... Just think about if a relationship with me is something you want."

"I can do that as long as you do the same," he says smoothly. "And Tsukiyo? You're not wrong or damaged. Not to me."

I smile a bit shyly, but as I turn to leave, he catches my hand again, eyes boring into mine as he brings it up to soft lips again, letting them linger there. I blink, dazed, and triumph flashes in his eyes as he steps in close, making my breath stutter. "Take all the time you need, darling, I'll be waiting for your answer."

His mouth brushes my ear, sending my heart racing and then he's gone slipping out the door and sauntering off.

After a moment, laughing to myself in bewildered shock, I lean against the wall, wondering how the fuck I've managed to find myself in this situation.

XXXXXXXXXX

AN: A very, very special thanks to my readers in the discord who helped me with this chapter. Y'all are so awesome.

This chapter was flipping hard, ngl, and I don't know if I got it right, but I hope y'all will leave a comment and let me know how you feel. 

Till next time!