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"A criminal is not complicated. What you really fear... is inside yourself. You fear your own power. You fear your anger, the drive to do great or terrible things."
- Ra's al Ghul (Batman Begins)
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<{Aboard a luxury yacht park at Gotham Harbor}>
<(Omniscient POV)>
"Oh, Mother Hera, grant me the strength to shatter these binds. Great Athena, lend me the power to overcome this plight." Diana, trapped in Circe's body, prayed with her eyes shut in concentration, calling upon every ounce of her will to summon enough strength to break her restraints.
After Circe had departed to enact whatever scheme she intended with Diana's demigod body, the Amazon found herself alone, imprisoned in the sorceress's form, bound by her own lasso, and confined to one of the lavish suites aboard Circe's luxury yacht.
Since then, Diana had tried every method she could think of to free herself—invoking the aid of every Greek goddess known to the Amazons, attempting to channel the magical lightning inherited from Zeus, and even trying to recall the spells taught to her by the court mages of Themyscira, lessons she had always ignored in favor of armed and unarmed combat training.
"Curse the Fates! Had I only paid more attention in those magic lessons, I might not be here now. A decade of magical classes wasted because I was foolish enough to look down on sorcery... My mother was right. I am not yet ready to be Themyscira's champion." She exhaled sharply, finally abandoning her struggle against the enchanted bonds. The effort was pointless after all—every attempt only causing the lasso to tighten and grow hotter, further stoking her desperation.
"That vile, debaucherous sorceress is probably doing unspeakable things with Bruce right now… using MY body to top that off. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded if my first time was with Bruce, but someone else with him while wearing my face—that's revolting. *Sigh*, I should have told him how I felt about him long ago. If I hadn't been so torn over his having multiple lovers, if I had just been honest with my feelings, maybe Circe wouldn't have been able to use the purity of my womanhood against him." Diana's jaw tightened, her teeth grinding in anger. "Bruce, please be safe. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me… By Zeus, if I get just one more chance, I swear I will—"
*BAM* The suite door burst inward as though it were nothing more than brittle plaster, and to Diana's shock, a familiar masked face stepped into view. "Sorry for being late," the figure said, his deep, gravelly voice cutting through the lonely silence she had been enduring.
"...B-Bruce? How?" To call Diana stunned would be an understatement. From the beginning, she had clung to the faint hope of a miracle, but she never imagined it would arrive in the form of her Dark Knight.
"I asked Circe. She was… eager to cooperate," Batman replied, his eyes flicking toward the rising sun beyond the heavily tinted glass windows. "I'll explain everything once we're home." He quickly freed her from the lasso's grip and, seeing how weakened she was, lifted her effortlessly into a princess carry. Circe's body might have possessed strength and durability beyond a normal human's, but it wasn't nearly at Diana's level—it couldn't endure prolonged physical strain and deprivation without consequence.
"What about Circe? Is she still in my body?" Diana asked, her expression clouded with worry for both Bruce and herself. She didn't even want to imagine what Circe might have tried to do to Bruce while possessing her body.
"She's back at the Batcave. Your body's in perfect condition… Her mind, however, is not."
"How did you know?" Diana asked, nodding understandingly, unable to meet Batman's gaze, fully aware that her defeat at Circe's hands could have caused serious trouble for him. She could have plotted against him or could have even leaked his secret identity, which he was trying so hard to keep.
"It was obvious the moment I saw her. You're as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. She isn't," he replied without a hint of hesitation, as though it were the most self-evident truth in the world.
"...I see." Diana had no other words, especially when she noticed her Lasso of Truth still wrapped in Bruce's hand, making it impossible for him to lie. Instead, she simply chose to hold him tighter, resting her head against his shoulder. Even with the unyielding plates of his armor pressing against her, it felt like the most comfortable place she could be. She could almost swear she felt a subtle warmth radiating from him, rather than what should have been the cold, lifeless touch of metal.
***
<{Bat Cave, Gotham}>
"Yaaawn… Huh? Where the puddin' am I? And who the heck are you, Miss Stranger?" Harley Quinn mumbled from inside her cage, lazily rubbing her eyes and stretching as though she'd just woken from a nap. Her gaze flicked between the woman in a sleek, high-tech, cat-themed suit and the unfamiliar surroundings. "Well, ain't this somethin'? Looks like somebody mashed up a fancy schmancy high-tech lab with a billionaire's secret mancave—'cept now it's playin' dress-up as a vigilante's private clubhouse!" she concluded, a little too accurately for Catwoman's liking.
"Hello, Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel. We were honestly worried you might've taken too hard a hit to the head. It's good to see you're fine—it'll make our conversation much smoother," Selina said, drawing Harley's attention to her. She'd been waiting for over an hour for the woman to wake; there were answers she needed before Bruce returned.
Normally, Selina would never take on a job like this—interrogation and torture weren't her style. Talia or Nyssa were far better suited for this sort of work. But this time was different. She had a significant favor to ask of him—a favor she knew he wouldn't be eager to grant, given the risks that would come with it. So, she wanted to impress Bruce by showing him that she wasn't afraid of going outside her comfort zone to accomplish her goals. Her plan was simple: prove her resourcefulness by getting him everything he needed from Harley, on her own, without anyone else's help.
Selina knew that for some reason, Bruce was unusually cautious when it came to dealing with Harley. He didn't even permit the use of nerve gear to scan her memories without first creating a completely separate server just for her mind. In his own words, the criminal psychologist was a force of unbridled chaos. And while he was certain he could stop her for good if it ever came to that, what truly concerned him was the person who had "converted" her—the one responsible for twisting her brilliant mind into… whatever she had become now.
So, Selina knew exactly what she needed to do—convince Harley to share everything she knew about what had happened at Arkham Asylum. Every detail mattered, no matter how small, especially anything about the person responsible for doing this to her.
"Whoa! You're bigger than any kitty I've ever seen! Where'd ya snag that big ol' kitty suit? Bet that's every pervert's wet dream come true." Harley let out a sharp whistle, giving Selina an exaggerated once-over. "You work for my Puddin', huh? Figures—he's got so much black in his closet, it's only natural he'd dress up his goons…" She paused, then corrected herself, "I mean, his goonettes, in black too. Gotta hand it to him, Puddin's got killer style—consistent as hell, too." She gestured broadly at the rest of the cave. "Oh, and for the record? I'm lovin' the whole moody, broody, 'I'm-in-a-band' thing he's got goin' on."
"Puddin'? What do you mean by that?" Selina asked, her eye twitching as she ignored everything else Harley had just said.
"Hmm? Oh, I mean Bats, of course! The Dark Knight, the Grim Knight, the Merciless—folks got a whole list'a spooky-cool names for him. But I like the one I gave him—Puddin'. Has a nice ring to it, dont'cha think? He's the love of my freakin' life." Harley's voice softened into a dreamy tone, her eyes glazing as if lost in a fond memory. "An' ya know, considerin' he clocked me one an' hauled me off to his own personal batty sex dungeon on our very first date, I'd say the big lug's smitten with me, too. We're totally soulmates—two crazy peas in a crazy pod. Mmm… I'm all horny down there just thinkin' 'bout it. Wish he was here right now so we could… y'know… skip to the good part."
"…" By now, Selina's entire face was twitching, not just her eyes. It was at this moment that she realized that interrogating Harley Quinn was going to be one of the most challenging tasks she'd ever attempted—a trial of her patience and sanity at every step. "If Tige—if Batman is truly your soulmate and the love of your life, then can you explain exactly why you decided to take on this new persona of yours instead of trying to introduce yourself to him as Dr Harleen Quinzel, like any other normal person?"
"To get his attention, duh! If ya want a fairy-tale ending with some broody ol' sourpuss, you don't waltz in actin' all broody yourself. Nope—you gotta be the opposite! Bright, bubbly, cute as a cupcake—paint his dreary black-and-white world with rainbows 'n' glitter 'n' maybe a unicorn or two. Least, that's what all those sappy Hollywood movies say. My fancy criminal psych degree? Yeah, that didn't help much crackin' open Batsy's noggin. I get the basics—his goals, his thinkin'—but what's really goin' on deep down in that handsome, bat-shaped brain o' his? No clue, sugar." She shrugged. "Besides, normal's a snooze-fest. I bet there's a whole army of plain ol' gals droolin' over Gotham's Dark Knight. If I wanted a real shot, I hadda be different from every last one of 'em, right?"
"And what does Arkham Asylum have to do with that?"
"Haven't ya heard, toots? If ya wanna get the goods on a hero, ya gotta get real cozy with his bad guys. That's why I waltzed right into Arkham. Only by pokin' around in the noggins of Gotham's worst creeps could I start figurin' out Gotham's best. And lemme tell ya—jackpot! I found a mind in there so dark 'n' twisty, so dangerous 'n' deranged, it was like Batsy's evil twin in the funhouse mirror. Learned exactly what I needed from him." Harley pursed her lips, folding her arms as she stared upward, as if lost in some sort of flashback.
"Ya know, I always knew I was a little cracked upstairs, but that clown helped me glue the pieces back together—all for my Puddin'. Yeah, he's evil as they come, but he made me see the real me, an' just how much Batsy meant to me. Took me from meek little Dr. Harleen Quinzel, moonin' over the Bat, an' tried shapin' me into the Queen of Gotham—the one 'n' only Harley Quinn. But I went bigger. No offense, but I ain't cut out to be just some loony's hench-gal. Uh-uh. I'm meant for somethin' grander… a sidekick." She said, her eyes shining with excitement as if she had just gotten an epiphany. "An' just so we're clear—Batman's sidekick. Whaddaya think? Queen Robin—has a nice ring to it, dont'cha think?"
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