There was always a single memory of the woman that I loved that I always thought back to whenever I missed her or when I was having a really hard time without her. And after having made the tough decision to leave her behind with her brother and his family for the duration of her pregnancy, despite me promising her that I would create a palace of her own if she wished to deal with my family and the woman who has ruined my life on her own. Having my woman's help would have made this all much easier as I worked to regain my previous status in the palace, but I wasn't even willing to put her mental health at risk as she carried out the most important job of her life in bearing my children in peace. And the specific memory that I kept thinking about with a very heavy heart and tears in my eyes was the time that we were both living with The Fifth Prince and I saw her in that courtyard when she was surrounded by so many butterflies. I still have no idea if that really happened or if it was just an illusion that I came up with during my previous state of mind, but that was all in the past now. Every day that I left her in the brothel was a day more to work on my sobriety until I had finally beaten it, even though every day with that horrible woman mentally pushed me to drown in more vices.
"…how could there be butterflies in winter? Isn't this witchcraft? And why is she praying for me in the dead of winter? She will fall ill…" I remembered the thoughts that had I had as well as I just couldn't take my eyes off of her, even when I ended up collapsing right there and then. I did abandon her there, only to move forward with our plans and to give myself time to set up something more stable for her, only to have witnessed her being dragged down to the brothels. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for that, even more so when I set the first brothel on fire and have her transported to the second one for her safety. I took my plans too far then, but her presence in those places brought down a common enemy and lead to her husband also being bought down, so it did help to some extent, but I couldn't forgive myself for that. I had abandoned her, I left her feeling unloved, I attacked her, I relied on her too much and as soon as I left the dungeons I went straight to her without a word of explanation and I…pretty much forced myself upon her, even though she has never said a word about it. I owed that woman my life and beyond, and now that was put in yet another delicate situation because of me, I needed to protect her with every fibre of my being. It could have even been my karma to miss out on my woman's pregnancy for all of the sins that I have accumulated against her. I just wished that she kept herself preoccupied enough to not miss me and not make any rash decisions on my behalf. I hunted as many partridge birds as I could whilst she slept so that she could get as much nutrition as possible in my absence and I would send some more for her when I could.
She managed to infuse the air with fragrance when she attracted those butterflies towards her, and myself. I was just as inebriated with her now as I was back then; she always bathed herself when she lit up her incense smell of my choice and I couldn't help but to imagine my son being born with a similar smell to mark the fact that he was mine. They were both mine and they will be forever, and now I needed to double my efforts in keeping them safe. I so wanted to be in charge of her meals, but I couldn't trust the womenfolk in my household with that task in fear that they may poison her or locate her. She never had a single day of peace due to who her father was and now I was because of myself as well. She was going to need bone soup wih vinegar for cramps, she need tofu, vegetables and fruit daily and plenty of naps and more servants for protection. No, that wasn't right; she always thought that servant's were untrustworthy and easily bought out, and I cannot say that she was proven wrong about that either. She must be less than pleased about her confinement, but it would be for the very last time now and it might also be too hot for her to get proper sleep without me holding her in bed. And my supposed family clan? How can I defend my wife against them? What did they want from me? My money? My influence? To put me on the same path as my father and even my own children? I might Hwi's help with this, although he had already retired to his father's village and he was more than happy there with his own family, would he really go so far as to break his peace for me? After everything that I have put his family through? Our friendship remained strong but it still wasn't quite the same as it was during our youth, which is what led me to rely on his sister a lot more due to our shared ambition, albeit for different reasons. What do I do? It is all too much for one person to handle…how I wish that I could turn back time and return to the days where my woman was merely my wife's hostage and I had the balls to actually break her out of my father's home instead of putting my plans before her when it was clearly all for naught…
"…My Lady, I hear that you are preparing for a trip into the countryside?" "Seo Yeon must be hiding there somewhere after she realised that she wasn't cut out to be a nobleman's wife, where else do you suggest looking?" "But My Lady, why are you actively seeking her out after she herself has given up?" "Seo Yeon is no ordinary woman and when she comes back as she pleases, it will be to seduce our Master again and then we would have well and truly lost him. This is our very last chance to claim what is ours and we need to go all out with this battle against her."
"You make it sound as though we are at war somehow, against a single woman…" "That is because we are; throwing that girl into various brothels didn't work and even when I knew in my heart that he would see her on his first night of freedom, drugging his liquor barely stopped him at all. I need to combat the witchcraft that she has placed upon him and bring down her brother after her so that The Seo bloodline no longer exist. First of all, we need to deal with her remaining maids so she will have absolutely no power when she decides to turn up here again. I shall have someone of ill repute marry her to force her to my side and I shall deal with the rest of her servants in the same manner. She must have outrun her luck by now as she is ageing with no marriage prospects in sight and she must be over 20 years of age by now, that is far too late for a woman to marry. She cannot be burden to her married brother already and we must either ensure that she cannot return back to him, or if she is lucky enough to do so, we must draw him out and somehow frame her for his murder." "Are you sure that he is still alive, Mistress Han?" "She would't still preoccupy her time in flirting with my man if her brother was dead." "You do possess great foresight indeed My Lady, I feel incomparably inferior to your knowledge." "Servants? Pass me the red jade necklace that my husband gifted to me; the colour will look young and vibrant against your cool skin concubine; whereas it looks rather dull on myself. It is also scented with the finest fragrances and it is The Lord Nam's favourite colour, so it will catch his attention for sure." "Thank you My Lady!"
"Let us rest for now and sleep well over the thought that that girl posses no threat to us for now. She must be living lesser than I have with my husband's luxury and comfort; a life like that is sure to wear her down, to live as she used to in poverty after taking advantage of The Lord Nam after so many years. This also gives us the perfect opportunity to wave any woman we want in front of him to wean him off of The Seo girl. This will help us all to regain his favour as he is still a man in his prime with much vigour."
"Mistress Han, you seem unwell yourself and you should focus on getting more rest…" "How can I possibly sleep in an empty bed chamber without my man? I must see him as soon as possible before I start to loose my mind and if he falls ill and refuses for us to attend to him, what can we do then?" "My Lady, our nephew was last in the company of the concubine who seemed to have poisoned their food, so she would be blamed if anything bad happens to them at all. What if he refuses to return to his home because of this jinx that you have brought to him yourself? You should be disciplining her instead of showering her with these useless gifts. She probably has no idea how to serve a man at all, why else is she left to remain a virgin at this point in time?" "It looks bad for her status, but for us it gives us time to work on her securing her place in this household and she should cherish her fortune when she has it. But due to the incident, she should hide in the ancestral hall until she is called upon to serve him to show off her devotion to her new role as concubine." "My nephew still comes from an illustrious bloodline that only suits a similar one, unlike this former maid who served in a damned brothel!"
So this is what they are currently planning? Very well then, I no longer had the attention on myself and I could easily prove them wrong by bringing in some male concubines for myself. But now that I was starting a family, having male company was the very last thing on my mind. I had already had my fun even though I should have remained completely faithful to my woman if circumstances didn't drive us apart for long periods of time. I didn't want Yeon to be overly sad about that situation anymore, even though she did a good job of hiding it so far. No, this was the time now to make everything up to her whilst simultaneously trying t regain my honour for the sake of my future and past family member such as my dead in laws. And as for you wife, don't you dare think of coming back here until you have borne my children for means hopefully by then, I shall have a good home waiting for you with plenty of room in the courtyard full of greenery and flowers, just as you have always wished for.