I waited in my quarters for him to say goodbye to him as he went on his last work trip as he always used to, despite the rough night he gave me recently. He woke me up every hour all night long with gifts I never asked for, but were fit for a noble lady; new makeup, silk ribbons for my hair, an assortment of hair pins and even the plum blossom perfume that he wanted me to wear. I opened the door each and every time, still hoping to see his face despite all of the chaos that he was ensuing. But he sent the servants instead, each and every time, causing my heart to beat out of control every time someone came to my door. But he never came home, so I could only assume that he was with either the Mistress Nam I did not fully understand what he was doing, but it looked like it was left to me to draw the lines between us in the place that he seemed hell bent on breaking for god only knows what reason. He was clearly mocking me that night, but there were more times when he was just being himself and he still tried to find reasons to keep me around. But Seon-Ho, like myself, had a lot of faces and it was hard trying to keep up with it, and my brother was always my priority. And as for the Lady Min; no matter how mcc I despised her, she certainly had a lot more to give him than I ever could, despite his delusions that I was somehow going to stop this marriage or whatever nonsense he was saying yesterday night.
But it was incredibly hard to keep that moment between us out of my head. Out of nowhere, he really slid his arms around my legs and picked me up so high that he made me believe that I could temporarily touch the stars. And by the time I was able to fully process exactly what he was doing, his lips were already on mine with such force that I couldn't possibly fight him off with my feet off of the ground. It…it wasn't my fault. I did nothing to warrant that kind of behaviour no matter what childish crush I used to have on him in the past. And I most certainly never attempted 'to seduce him' in my entire life, even if had all the opportunities in the world to do so. And after I got rid of all of the clothing he bought for me, I made sure to return it to his office as soon as I had found my old rags. I really didn't miss these clothes, but I had certainly missed the memories that came along with them. The memories of making my bother's clothes by hand, getting his measurements and making them as fashionable as I possibly could.
But I had made the joke too soon as I was confronted with The Concubine Chung on the way to a palace banquet that we were all invited to, who wasn't exactly happy with my new look either. In fact, she looked rather flustered at first before she managed to pull herself together. "You know, I really do believe that I have tried my best to ignore you due to your inferior status that is not even worth mentioning from my lips. Can you compare with me?"
"A woman who forces herself upon a man, who constantly goes against familial piety by arguing with your family for a man who does not want you, and has betrayed them with this marriage for yur own older sister. Of course he will not love you, no one will ever want you. Because the number one Confucius rule is piety and it is knows throughout this nation. But for you, an imaginary love and position is more important than reality. Why should a man want to take on such an outlandish woman, no matter how rich your ancestry is? You can dress, eat and live in luxury due to the hard work of the people, and this is what every political man cares about. But what about you, the woman who always boasts about being almost a princess and coming from royalty? What about the poor? The people who lack basic necessities? Or what about the people who constantly faces injustice? But you choose to overlook these issues time and time again for your own selfish wants on a whim. Is that fair? You can easily throw away your responsibilities for a man who doesn't want you, and you control him at every chance you get. If you continue to do this, no man will ever love you, despite your family's glowing achievements that are not even your own. What are you even capable of? Do you have any talents? Any skills that will get you by in the real world? And even now, isn't your husband in trouble for making false documents of ownership of The Third Prince's assets? Was it not discovered that he took a false tone of The Emperor himself? Their own faction against The Emperor was exposed this week and even their close servants are being impeached right this second. And then you're own family will disown you due to there hatred of this Chung Family that they tried to set you up with immorally. And with every trick you have pulled on me, you have only earned your marital family's mistrust and hatred, so he will not support you either Which means that you will loose your influence, which will make you loose everything you have worked for. You will get nothing out of this marriage; you will be forever knows as the jinx who caused her husband to loose everything."
It finally looked like my words had some impact on the usually dense Concubine Chung who had lost all of the colour on her heavily painted face and had started hyperventilating out of nowhere. But I really had no intentions to help her, as I began to suspect that she had started to involve herself with my sister-in-law and was the one responsible for feeding her grand delusions in the first place.
I really couldn't care less about what grudges anyone had against me, I would actually often treated like a game like I did with Chun-Ae. But messing with my family was absolutely crossing the line for me, and even more so when it came to my fiancé and what was left of his paternal family. I could only assist Seon-Ho as much as he would let me, but my big brother was absolutely off-limits, even more so during the challenges that he was constantly facing just for me. I tired to walk away, only to run straight into The Mistress Nam, who had clearly heard every single word of our conversation.Anger always took over me like nothing I had ever experienced before whenever I saw this woman's face recently. But the only thing that I had against her was gossip with no evidence whatsoever no matter how hard I looked. "I have been very busy of late and I have had no mind to pay any attention to you. And as much as I hate to admit this, you have been of some help to this issue, but you still need to be punished for not knowing your place. You have harmed him far too many times to allow me to let this continue? You are return to your family home and is prohibited to come anywhere near my home or my son again." I could hear Mother Chung berating her sons' concubine before they both made their way to the banquet and I followed them whilst keeping my eye on The Mistress Nam the entire time.
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I could not believe that I hadn't thought this plan through at all, not to the extent that Yeon had thought. It was no wonder that Seon-Ho wouldn't give me a chance at all, no matter how much of an asset I could be to my brother-in-law. But I was blinded by my own selfish desires; I really thought that he would surrender to me eventually. But I couldn't go home, nobody else knew that I had already been evicted from my home by my parents, who were 'tired of me bringing shame onto the family.' I had no money at all, which was why I had done everything I could to enjoy all the luxury the Nam mansion had to offer, including food and bathing privileges. But now, now I had nothing, apart from a small glint of hope that lied in the palace but far away from Seo Yeon and her family.
"…Who invited The Mistress Nam to this banquet? She isn't even a part of The Third Prince's harem, nor is she involved with him in any shape or form…." "Doesn't that mean the harem has a new favourite then?" "Who would be in the mood for a widow in The Third Prince's harem? And a Nam at that?" "What sort of new favourite can she be then?" "Wasn't she originally The Third Price's servant before? How did she get entangled with his enemy and still have a place here in the palace?" "Rumour has it that she threw herself on another servant claiming to be The Lord Nam's half brother, and got pregnant shortly after without any word of marriage…." "So why are we wasting palace resources on a harlot such as this one?" "Unless she wants to stay to climb onto the dragons bed…." "How disgusting…" "Stop being s frank and outspoken, can't you see that she has her eyes on us!" "Since I dare t say it, who am I afraid of? A harlot widow compared to a concubine of The Third Prince?" "So who will be the one to turn this 'newly-favoured' into old news? She surely needs to learn her lesson…"
I had been so focused on my enemy in the palace that I had completely forgotten my surroundings and the apparent chaos that I was causing. Every single insult was hitting my like arrows into my heart and the worst thing was that I had nobody on my side at all. The one person who should have protected me had left the palace and the other 2 wanted absolutely nothing to do with me at all, I wasn't even welcome at the table where I was sitting as the other guests had already eaten my share of food before I could even sit down as I had arrived late to put down my son for bed, Everyone's eyes were filled with disgust for me whilst everyone kept watching Seo Yeon who had invited her physician friend and his wife to this banquet. Everybody engaged with them and even their eldest daughter whilst nobody asked me abut my son at all. Everyone rushed to feed Bo-Geom here and there whilst I was to be deprived of my dinner that I was looking forward to having tonight. The guests even complimented the loving couple whilst I had no man look in my direction at all for marriage despite my title and rank…that disappeared along with my husband. Nobody wanted me and I was going to be alone forever….unless I got rid of the competition once and for all. What else could I do apart from this?