He didn't want to go to her. But he didn't want to stay from her either. She was the thorn in his side. She was also his fragrant rose.
And as he walked toward a brown horse, he all but let out a loud groan.
"Why, for the Love of God, can't that woman let the past simply be?" He asked as he sat outside of the horse's stall. He just sat on the ground with his chin on his folded fist.
He was a twenty-five-year-old man. And the last time he had been with Rose, he was nineteen years. In all of those Six years in between, no woman had ever felt all the things Rose made him feel.
He felt passion, he felt anger, he felt gentleness, he felt love. All in equal doses. And at that moment, he felt a very healthy dose of proper frustration.
One moment she was smiling about the idea of them sorting out their problems together, the next moment, she was shaking her, a sad look in her eyes, telling him it was for the best if they didn't go together after all, and he hadn't the faintest what he was going to do about it. Do about her.
Well, he had an idea of what he wouldn't do. He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of seeing him in a completely confused state over her. He wasn't going to give in to her sudden wish to go on her own.
He got up, dusted his breeches, and turned to the horse. And he sure as hell wasn't going to sit on the ground while he had a ready horse to ride.
~~~
She watched him from her window as he led the horse out of the barn, and mounted it. Watched the set expression on his face as he possibly made the Command for the horse to go.
She sighed and watched them go, and her mind wandered toward the moments before.
What really had gotten into her?
She thought, shaking her head. But she thought she knew. It was the way Jasper looked at Hannah with exceeding love. It was the way it had her wishing that when Cephas looked at her that way, he didn't stop and act like it was not just there moments ago.
She wished he simply fought for her, rather than act like she and whatever feelings he had for her were something to be fought against. If he had feelings for her at all.
And she hated the possibility of another broken heart. Still for the same man. Over and over again.
And Dear God, how she loved him terribly.
Tears filled her eyes and she furiously blinked them away, moved away from the window, and walked to her bag she had not gotten to filling since the day Cephas had turned the contents out.
She sniffed and picked up a bracelet. It was made of Diamond crystals and a rose waltz shaped like a heart as the pendant. Cephas had given it to her the year she turned sixteen, and she had believed that what they had, what they shared would be forever.
She snorted and she sat on the bed, still looking at the bracelet,
"So naive." She said sadly and bit her lower lip. But she let herself remember.
It was the day of her sixteenth birthday and a lot of family and friends of the family had come to the hall her parents had organized. It was a big year. For in that year, she would assume her role as Guardian of Fae.
The ball ended with announcements of her impending role, although there were already rumors. The formalities made her nervous, giddy even, but all the while, Cephas kept his eyes on her, steadying her.
He was her Rock.
When the ball was over, she met him in their spot in the garden of Fairies.
As she approached him, she stopped for a moment and took in the sight of him. His back was against her, and the breeze blew against his hair, making it disheveled and she longed to run her hand through his hair.
He no longer wore his occasional clothes, but simply breeches and a tunic, but he was still stately,
"Cephas." She all but sighed and watched as he turned to face her, watched as his face lit up in a smile and came toward her,
"I didn't hear you come, must have been too lost in my thoughts." He caught her by her waist when he reached her, and her feet left the ground as he spun her around.
She giggled in delight and placed her hand on his cheek when he placed once again on the ground,
"Happy Birthday, Rose." He said and kissed her tenderly on her cheek. "I have something for you."
She looked down at his hand where he held the bracelet and a gasp escaped her lips,
"It's precious." She said and brought her eyes back to his face while he smiled at her
"For the most precious girl to me. Would you like to put it on?" She nodded and stretched out her hand so he clasped it on for her,
"Oh Cephas, it's too much." She said, looking at it.
"It's nothing." He said and watched as she drew her eyes away from it to look at him,
"Thank you so much."
He just shrugged, "so… the big announcement."
She rolled her eyes, "That can't wait." She said wrapping her arms around his neck, and felt warm when his hands went around her,
"But tonight, Make my birthday happy, Cephas."
She sighed at the memory. She had been hopelessly in love with him. And he had let her be.
And only God knew how shattered she had become when he no longer let her be.
That was why she didn't see the possibility of them embarking on that journey together as a good idea.
Somewhere along the line, she would forget how to be sensible just like did six years ago. She would throw herself at him, expecting him to hold her.
And he would tend her heart in pieces, just like he did, six years ago.