I went down the stairs picked a glass and bottle of whiskey then went direct to my bedroom. I took a sip and then laid on the bed with my eyes all over the ceiling. Many thoughts and questions gyrated inside my head like they were framing a probability question. I wished my grandmother was alive for I could have called her and she could tell me a story or sing me a slow traditional song to make me sleep as fast as possible. Finding a partner is very easy but finding the matching partner is like finding a cure for a viral pandemic, my grandmother would say.
The night wasn't long as I had anticipated for morning came faster than before, I don't know whether it was because of the thoughts about Sharon or about what my grandmother told me about finding a marriage partner. I wanted to be with her for the night, but as I lay on the bed, with my eyes concentrated at the ceiling, I felt guilty. A daily feeling of worthlessness, a daily reminder that I was alone and any positive possibility was not on my way, a smell of death and a feeling of betrayal. I betrayed Mercy and thats why she was gone, and that was on me. Averyone at Tame's birthday knew that, and no matter how much happy Sharon promises to make me, Mercy will never leave my mind. I blamed love and jelousy for what she went through. I recalled the movement of her sweet lips after she rescued me from Tasha. If it was not for her, I could have made a fool of myself before the party began.
Though the end was not anyone's preclude, a big mess was made and history was set for our children to read. If only we could go back in time, Mercy would be beside me, with a ring in her finger. But we don't choose who to love, we only choose who to spend sometime with.
She was beautiful, I could tell from behind as she pulled me to the dancing floor. She wanted to take away my mind, my heart and everything that I felt for Tasha and make them hers. She was capable but was I willing to let her do that? Only time was going to tell. I thought to myself. It was esclavage.
"I want to make your nights egregious" , Mercy said as we swayed from side to side on the dancing floor. As sweet and lovely her voice and statement sounded, my mind was in captivity, one held captive by Tasha and her traumatizing memories, two held captive by her presence and three, held captive by one or three eyes fixed on our dance.
For the first time, I thought that this was a big mistake, and if my gods were not playing serious jokes with me, nothing seemed alright. Nothing was going to end well but as they say, for hope to work you have to be a hopeful person first.
From far, I could feel Mercy's eyes on me, she had noticed that she was dancing with my physicality alone, my mind was far gone. I was sorry for her but she was a beautiful lady, so it was her destiny to face all these. You scoop what you can swallow and to say it was not my fault. I fell in love,but i broke the heart of the wrong person.
"Woow, look at who decided to show up looking like a true couple" Linn hit deeper this time.
She was for real and sure was her statement. Ours was, or could have been real. But all were lies, Mercy wanted me and i wanted her back, that's lust. I loved Tasha and i wanted to be with her no matter what, thats obsession. Linn wanted me but i did not want her, Tom would do anything to have her, thats love. You have what you dont want.
Linn's tease brought my mind mind back to the party, she made me feel whole again. I realized the truth of what my counsellor would say "mind captity is a state of ownself, you drive yourself in and out."
"Dont mind my dear sister, she is always teasing", Mercy said to me.
Linn's eyes met mine, she was jelous although she was trying her best not to show it. Her eyes landed on our hand, our fingers fixed together and how our smiles matched. I saw a inside change of her jelous, she wanted me for real but I was with her sister, what was she going to do.
" Step-sister" she said . "And that means you can have both of us", she added a statement that made the thred of us laugh.
Although she seemed serious about it, from the look of things Mercy thought it was a normal joke. Linn was beautiful, she was brown in complexion and her figure was more attractive that Mercy's. She had a bigger behide than Mercy's which attracted the attention of half of the married men, and all of the single men present. I was as single as I was, so guess what she did to me.
"Can I have one dance? Please husband" linn asked me.
Her eyes were on me, she did not give me any choice. I could neither say yes, nor could I say no.
"Its okay darling", Mercy came to my aid again. She is always coming through for me, one thing I love about her. She let my hand go, then left without a word. I watched her walk away until she was swallowed my the crowded ground. I felt betrayed, she could not turn back to see me watch her, she did not even try to stand up to her sister, she just walked away.
" She is a good soul', Linn said to me as she intertwinned our hand together. I did not want to say anything, i just wanted to think about one person and her only. Mercy and her promise to make my night exceptional.
"And why do you want to hurt her, why cant you let us be?" I questioned her. I had to, though I could not look her in her eyes, I had that small courage to ask.
"And why can't you have both of us" Linn answered. "I don't have a problem with that" she added
I had no answer to that, but from her voice she was very serious and if it was war she wad in it to win it. I could feel her pull away, I did not have any idea of what was happening for she was still holding me, she was still waiting for me to answer. To me she was gone both physically and emotionally. I guess it was a the mystery of detachment yet to be explained.
"You need to make up your mind before it is too late dear, for the night is young, and you don't know what kind of ghosts it holds", Linn said as she turned away and left.
It sounded like a threat and sure it was, the night came with unexpected deadly ghosts and took away out loved ones. I was left stranded, even as I narrate this escapade, am still stranded at the field of love against lust. And I am not capable of making my own choice.