Weather's perfect.
Blazing sun, bright as hell.
"Hah…"
The day's finally here.
Sports festival. Soccer finals.
"Yo, pass the makgeoli!"
"Hand 'em over one by one."
So *this* is the sports festival?
Basically just chugging makgeoli and scarfing down boiled pork.
Kinda dope, though… Professors let us out early.
"Eat meat, then run, kids!"
"Eat and run? I'll puke."
It's a damn circus.
Our department's corner is packed with students passing cups around.
Looking at it, our department's tiny as fuck.
Other departments are swarming, taking up half the stands.
We're crammed in a corner, all cozy… kinda cute.
"How's basketball going?"
"Think we got smoked."
"Fuck."
Sports festival prizes aren't even that big.
You need a high overall ranking to cash in. Soccer alone doesn't cut it.
Still, soccer's got clout. Main event, takes up most of the field.
'Ughh.'
So many people.
Banners flapping, glittery shit floating around.
Feels like the whole university's here, buzzing.
"Yo, they got a karaoke machine? Borrow it?"
"Where? Mechanical engineering?"
"They've got two, I'll snag one!"
Fuck.
PTSD's kicking in.
Everyone's hyped, jumping around, but I'm queasy.
My kind of people—quiet ones—huddle in the corner, eyeing the chaos.
Scared we'll get roped into something.
If it weren't for soccer, I'd just zone out and dip.
"We gotta win, no matter what."
"Lose, and I'm haunting this place forever."
Seniors and classmates warm up, checking their cleats.
Third and fourth place match just ended; finals are up.
Everyone's tense. Why're they so intense about soccer?
"S-Shaking…"
"Don't shake, fucker! Run, or I'll chop your head off!"
Chop my head? The fuck?
Our department's all-in on soccer…
Everyone's watching, so yeah, it's nerve-wracking.
Basketball and track are happening too, but they'll wrap soon.
All eyes'll be on soccer. Ugh, gonna puke…
"Joonhyung, you good to play?"
"Y-Yeah…"
I'm on standby as a sub.
Ankle's better, but not *run-around* better.
Everyone's got some injury, so I can't just sit out.
They'll do fine, right? They've got more experience…
'Soccer first and second place match is coming up.
Departments, get ready.'
"Let's crush 'em!"
"Do it right!"
"F-Fuck, nervous…"
It's starting.
I'm shaking too. Fidget with my jersey, number 7. Wait, defenders get 7?
Hope we win after all this effort.
Lose, and the department's gonna be a funeral.
"G-Gonna chug some makgeoli first."
"Back before the cups get cold…"
Vibe's solid, though.
I sniff the makgeoli, rubbing my thighs.
Please end well, please.
---
Fuck.
Bad feeling.
First half, 45 minutes… ended 0-0 with the Korean Literature kids.
A draw's fine, but they dominated possession, and we barely hung on.
"Yo, can we actually win?"
"Shut up, dumbass."
"Drink and run! Dope up!"
Everyone's freaking out.
Their cheers are drowning us out, killing our vibe.
Lit kids are screaming and jeering in unison, fucking with our heads.
Our department's barely 50 people—outmatched!
Seniors huddle, whispering seriously.
No time for meetings later.
They call me over.
"Joonhyung, you're going in."
"Y-Yeah…"
F-Fuck, it's my turn.
Can I even help? I'm decent at passing, but I freeze under pressure.
"Myung-jun's playing full-time.
If you're dying out there, we'll swap. I'll signal."
"Uh-huh."
Everyone's so damn serious…
Match is restarting soon.
Throat's dry, heart's pounding. I'm not passing out out there, right? Too brutal for a loser like me…
"Joonhyung, drink some water."
"Ugh, thanks."
Joo Ye-jin, been a while.
Throat's burning. Chug the water she hands me, shake out my legs.
My jersey's number… can I live up to it? Fuck, someone flip the number upside down…
'Soccer first and second place match, second half starting.'
Mic echoes across the field.
Most other games are done.
All eyes naturally shift to the center.
The stares are killing me, fuck!
"Let's go, kids! Dinner's in hell tonight!"
"Nghaaa!"
First half was all "Haha, we got this! Champs!"
Now seniors are dead serious.
Last squad for some—military's coming, and fourth-years are graduating.
"Haaa…"
Shaking.
Put on my cleats, head down the steps.
Cold sweat drips down my back. Panic attack incoming…
"Go!"
"Nghaaa!"
A senior sprints to the field like a maniac, shaking his head.
I shake my hands, take quick breaths.
Step to the center, eyes everywhere.
Stands packed with Lit and Engineering kids staring. Fuck…
'Sunlight…'
Too damn bright.
Sun's blazing, cheers are deafening, chatter and shouts from unfinished games mixing in.
Heart's pounding. Can I do this…?
"Joonhyung, carry us, please!"
"Ughh…"
Goalie senior's piling on the pressure.
Don't say that, I'm freaking out more!
Quick breaths. Think poker, fuck, *poker*.
"Huh? Lee Joonhyung?"
…
Familiar voice from the stands. Nursing department…
"Or not?"
Ignore it, fuck. Wrong guy.
Turn my head, stretch my legs.
Forwards move up, loosening their shoulders.
"Second half begins."
Referee speaks quick, blows the whistle.
*Tweet!* Sharp sound, and the ball moves.
Heart's racing.
---
Not easy.
Definitely not easy.
Twenty minutes in, maybe?
"Hak…"
Flow's better than the first half.
Everyone's running like it's their last shot.
Still feels shaky.
Lit kids are charging like they're out for blood. Chill, fuck! You betting your life on soccer?
*Thwack.*
Ball rolls my way…
Clean pass to our forward.
Kinda satisfying. Kicking the ball in front of everyone… feels good.
"Keep it up, guys!"
"Go, go!"
Early embarrassment's long gone.
Hot, out of breath, can't think.
Just see the ball and players.
"Yo, block their crosses!"
Game's getting tougher.
More guys sticking to me when I get the ball.
One's hard enough, two's torture. Stop tackling like you're proposing…
'Still…'
Them doubling up on me leaves gaps.
Pass clean, and our attack's got room.
Soccer's like poker, huh.
All mind games. Stack the odds bit by bit.
"Joonhyung!"
Kim Myung-jun's waving from way out.
Fucker looks too handsome from here, damn!
*Thwack.*
Clean cross flies out…
"Whoa!" crowd roars.
Myung-jun catches it smooth, drives forward, and shoots hard.
"Ahh—"
Missed, damn.
It's fine. Keep the flow, we'll score!
"Hah."
Out of breath.
But I'm… kinda feeling it.
Was so nervous, but running's got my heart pumping, mood lifting. Adrenaline's kicking in.
'Hngh.'
Big breath, summer air hits cool.
Spring's gone, summer's coming.
Sweat drips down my forehead, salty.
Why was I so scared?
It's nothing now.
No shame, just feels good, refreshing.
Why was I always so tense before?
'Yo, Lee Joonhyung.'
'Play defense. Wanna be goalie?'
'D-Defense…'
Memories of playing with the delinquents.
Always benched, or stuck at left defense if I played.
Just a filler.
Always outplayed, left feeling like shit.
Swing and miss, or kick the ball wrong and send it flying weird.
"Bitch," they'd say, and I couldn't talk back.
Playing was straight-up torture.
But sometimes… it was kinda fun.
*Thwack.*
Clear a rolling ball far.
*Whoosh.* It sails high, everyone looking up.
I look up too—blue sky, clear as fuck, white clouds. Turf field. White goalposts.
Was I scared 'cause I didn't know?
Didn't know where the ball would go.
Didn't know how they'd move.
Not knowing got me wrecked, and getting wrecked was embarrassing.
"Joonhyung!"
Forward's driving the ball my way.
His face overlaps with a delinquent's, charging like a beast.
Faking a move, trying to trip me up.
Back then, I'd panic and fall.
But now I see it.
I see where his foot's going.
Knowing means I'm not scared.
*Tug.*
Light tap in his path.
Ball slips through his legs, and he grimaces.
What you gonna do about it?
*Thwack.*
Kick it clean, and 21 heads—plus the stands—follow it up.
*Whoosh.*
Blue sky tracks the ball.
"Hah."
Why didn't I get it back then?
Why only now?
Just do it like this.
*Tweet.*
Whistle snaps me out.
Free kick called.
Senior shouts, calling me.
"Joonhyung!"
Everyone's staring.
Stop yelling my name, they'll memorize it, fuck…
"C-Coming."
"Joonhyung, you take it. Gotta take it. I got a *vibe*. Once-in-a-decade vibe."
Your eyes are scary as fuck.
Senior sets the ball at my feet, all gentle.
Round, firm soccer ball sits on the dirt field.
"No pressure, just kick."
Your eyes are *all* pressure.
Stand by the ball, breathe.
My department, their department, all staring. Lit kids in the wall glaring at me.
"Hoo."
Quick breath.
Kim Myung-jun grins, tapping his foot.
"Feels good, Joonhyung."
Yeah?
Everyone's saying it, so maybe it's true.
See the goalie past the wall, clear as day.
Bored but tired expression, like, *It won't come, right?*
"Hoo."
Exhale, tap my foot.
Feels like all eyes are on me.
Two light hops in place.
Step forward, plant my foot.
Sky used to feel so gray.
Today, it's clear.
---
"Leg's fractured."
"…"
Fuckkk.
I'm a dumbass.
"No soccer for a while."
"Y-Yes…"
Blaming soccer, but…
Can't say I broke it jumping around like an idiot after we scored.
Not from a tackle—busted it during the celebration, fuck…
"Let's get you in a cast."
"Yes…"
Doc clicks his tongue.
Typical reckless youth.
"We'll cast it here."
Ughhh.
Victory's price is too damn steep.
Blink at the nurse wrapping the cast.
Regret… regret…
But no regrets!
We won, that's what matters.
'Joonhyung!'
Ball hit the post, bounced out.
Everyone froze, but senior nabbed it and slammed it in.
Goal with ten minutes left. Last one of the game.
'Hehe.'
Thinking back, I'm grinning like an idiot.
So good, so good. Reliving it's the best. Gonna jerk off to this forever.
"All done. Pay at the desk."
"Y-Yes."
Hobbling out, sun's blazing.
Cast's gonna suck in this heat.
"Why you grinning like that?"
Oh, Juha.
She's coming out from dermatology.
Burned her hand messing with a food truck fire or some shit…
"Just 'cause."
Ugh, crutches are rough. This is harder than it looks.
Juha eyes my crutches, licking her lips. Why's that creepy?
"How long on crutches?"
"Two weeks, they said."
Yeah?
Her lips curl up slightly.
Fuck, don't mess with my crutches. My leg's really fucked…
"Why'd you go all out on soccer?"
"Been a while…"
Forced into it, but yeah.
Thinking about it, soccer, OnlyFans—none of it's my choice. This right?
"Dinner?"
"Dunno…"
Craving charcoal-grilled boneless chicken.
And Shine Muscat, suddenly. Yoo In-ha probably ate it all… gotta buy more.
"Tell Yoo In-ha to order."
"She home?"
"Said she is."
Real talk, our "home" being the same place is wild.
Shouldn't we have separate places?
"Oh, taxi."
Juha waves down a cab.
Gotta take it, even if the fare's steep.
*Slide.*
Juha hops in, smacking the seat.
No holding the door? Fine, you got the cab…
She's grinning like a maniac.
"Geumhwa Apartments, please."
"Yes."
Today's been a lot.
Juha yawns, looking out the window.
Her cheek catches my eye.
I turn, staring out the taxi window.
Street shops glow in the sunset.
Students leaving school chatter loudly, swarming past.
Sun's setting already.
Buildings from the taxi shimmer orange in the dusk.