I had crushes earlier, but I couldn't call this love until finally, I met this boy. Specifically speaking, I have never met that guy in person and still fell for him. Our talks started with his worried mind. He was stressed at that time because of his study, and one of his friends, who was also my friend, told him to chat with me. We texted each other for 2 to 3 days. I didn't even know his name at that time. When we were texting,
I told him, 'Well, I don't know your name.'
'OHH FUCK,' he said, and then he told me his name. I know that's amusing. I was excited because of him. Like he was way too humorous and worried at the same time. As I was his senior, we made it like I was the elder sister and he was the younger brother. Even though we were opposite, he was one year older than me. But we got a close bond in indeed less time. It felt like we were best friends, but we only just met, which was also online. We talked till late, all the time. But we were not that mature back then, so we didn't know much about what we were doing. We both only loved enjoying time with each other. It was like we both were trying to escape reality.
I even remember the first time we texted for the first time. So weird to say, but I messed up my sleep routine when we talked the first time because, at that time, he was so stressed. So I felt I should give him preference rather than my sleep. My sleep schedule got messed up the day I started talking with him. Today I am again here writing about him. It's been 325 days since I met him. February 3rd, 2022, was both an amazing day and a terrible one. And now it's been 92 days since we didn't talk. We didn't text because he broke the friendship. You may wonder what has occurred these days, but don't worry. So, here we go—
Being a true introvert in real life, I was an ambivert in the online world. I started using Discord because of my studies, as I mostly stayed at home and didn't have many friends. I used to study with some online people I met on a study server. The good thing was that my focus was enhanced very nicely, and it was easy to convey through chats. A guy from the same study server sent me a friend request. You may be thinking about who sent the friend request. How about you guess who it is? Yes, you are right. It's the same person you all are thinking about. Let's call him Tani. So coming to the day I first talked with him at 9 pm on 3rd Feb 2022, my life changed after that day. I met my best friend, with whom I talk about anything, who made me feel more at ease than anyone else, who later became my everything, and yes, my first love as well. In my life, he was the most valuable man. He remains the most adored man. No matter how hard I try, I can't hate that guy because I love him too much for the hatred to easily fade. Yes, there are a million reasons to hate him. It's not that I always love him; sometimes my hatred for him just erupts, and I cry, wondering why he had to leave my life in such a way. I ask myself: Was I so unimportant to him that he just disappeared without a word? Was being my friend the worst thing ever? I cry and think about everything like this. After that, I felt a little sorry for myself and believed that I wasn't deserving of this. attempting to patch me up, but once more, I'm missing that guy, missing our conversations, missing our music-listening sessions, and missing our quiet study sessions. I recall the times we cried and laughed together, as well as the lovely times when we got into a heated argument one day and then talked nonstop the next. I can recall every detail, and I may be overly certain that he will always be the most favored period of my life, regardless of who enters it or how it ends.