"Path of Despair? Are you sure, my teacher?"
My mother rose from her throne, approaching the elder with a troubled face…
"Of course. You know better than anyone how rare my Analytical Skill is, especially compared to the Dragon's Eye of the Dragon King himself."
The elder walked slowly toward the balcony, and my mother followed behind her.
"Do you remember the hundred commandments left by the founder of our clan, the First Ancestor?"
"Yes. Before I became the clan's ruler, she taught me many of our secrets, we the Dryads, including those hundred commandments…"
"The first commandment warns us of the emergence of an absolute evil, one capable of destroying the world.
Back then, we all believed that the evil the Ancestor spoke of was the Demon of Eternity.
But even the Demon of Eternity was easily defeated by the founder of the Guilty Fairies' race, while we fought the demons sacrificing our souls…
At least, we confirmed that the Ancestor's meaning was never the Demon of Eternity."
"What does the first commandment have to do with my son, teacher? I don't understand."
"I wasn't referring only to the first commandment. All the commandments always warned us of a danger we cannot face alone—even if we use our greatest curses.
They were arranged from the least dangerous—the hundredth commandment—to the most terrible: the first commandment."
The elder sat in a chair on the balcony and looked at the golden fields stretching beyond her sight with a serene smile…
"The forty-seventh commandment spoke of you, my child.
It said a Dryad stronger than all before her among us would be born to lead us officially into the world we were hiding from.
This has slowly begun to happen since you became the clan's ruler.
We have witnessed a prosperity never seen before."
"I only did what I had to do, teacher."
"I know.
And that means the commandments are indeed real and will all come true someday.
The fifth commandment, in particular, warned us of the forbidden paths.
It said we should never specialize in any of them.
If one of us ever does, a great catastrophe might occur, threatening to annihilate an entire race."
"As far as I remember, teacher, there were ten forbidden paths?"
"Yes.
One of them is the Path of Greed, which the Mother of Wisdom specialized in and who protects this world.
The most dangerous is the Path of… Despair."
My mother couldn't utter a single word after understanding the elder's words…
After all, this means the tenth commandment has already begun to manifest through the ruler's son—
the very ruler who brought prosperity to the Dryad clan might bring annihilation to a race.
"Don't worry… I'm not certain enough, but despite your son being one of our kind, I no longer feel he truly belongs to us Dryads.
I don't know what he went through these past years, but he has become a completely different race.
Though the Dryad aura faintly emanates from him, those wings I saw belong to only two races: the Fairies and the Spirits."
"But… this is impossible!
How can his race change overnight like this?"
"My child… this world is bigger than you think.
He didn't disappear for just a day or two, but for many long years.
He no longer sees you as his mother."
"Impossible!
Impossible that this could happen!
Even though I wasn't with him in his hardest moments, I raised him with my own hands!
How could he abandon me like this?!"
"Then how do you explain his behavior today?
If not for my barrier, you would have been fatally wounded!
Do you think any son would treat his mother that way?
He has become far stronger than you already, and he himself said he's going through self-forgetfulness.
Maybe he truly forgot everything about you, as his disciple said when she defended him."
"No… I refuse this… I will never accept it!"
sigh…
I hadn't expected her analytical skill to be this strong…
Not only did she see my kill count, but she also saw my paths…
The hundred commandments, huh…
That first commandment still haunts me.
It reminds me of what was done to me in my first world…
It's impossible for such a precise similarity to exist in a race across two different worlds…
Could this world truly be my first?
---
I sat on the balcony of the guest room, staring at the golden sunset sky, thoughts tearing my mind apart from exhaustion.
Is this world the first one?
The world where I lived as a normal person for the first—and last—time in my life?
If it truly is the first world,
does that mean my black wish is the same as in that world?
That hateful wish that forced me to endure tragedies of pain I never knew before?
Is there still any benefit in fulfilling a wish I don't understand and almost hate with all my being?
And now, after listening to their conversation, I realize somewhat that I have fallen into what they call the Forbidden Path…
And soon, I will become a disaster threatening the very existence of races…
At that point, they will have no choice but to intervene and try to kill and torture me as they did in the first world.
Many thoughts gnawed at my mind slowly, leaving behind a strange echo…
And now that I have lost the ability to turn back time…
Does it even matter if I die now?
If my suspicion is right, I will finally die and gain eternal rest…
The rest I always longed for.
Without realizing it, despair crept into my heart and consumed the last shred of a living conscience I had…
I felt a feeling unlike any before…
My heart beating in a way I had never felt before, I slowly enjoyed that feeling… until I recalled, or rather remembered her words…
"He no longer considers you his mother!"
Then I understood…
Without realizing, the feelings that made me a person holding on to life vanished one by one…
Most likely, it started when I fell into the Path of Despair back then…
When I saw her body, torn apart brutally, my first feelings disappeared, and I fell into despair as an alternative…
And those feelings were… love.
And I, who did not feel guilt even after destroying an entire empire with all its people, did not feel guilt at all…
I drowned in my sorrow, using revenge as an excuse, until even the feeling of sorrow vanished…
I lived a fake happiness with the one whose homeland I destroyed without realizing the disappearance of the happiness itself…
I got angry when I called the girls by dirty names, not realizing the disappearance of anger itself…
I thought I had done what I was supposed to, but I actually did something even the devil wouldn't dare do.
Human emotions are truly strange.
With them, you still have a conscience. Without them, the last of your conscience dies…
What am I doing anymore…
---
Midnight came, its lone moon glowing with a beautiful azure light that mesmerized the soul.
I sat, thinking the whole time about one thing and one thing only.
Life gave me many chances with a slap on the face, warning me of my limits and the limits of my opportunities.
But I got used to those chances as if they were nothing.
I began to think of myself as that mighty one whom nothing can stand against…
Until I forgot my own insignificant self who always sought power just to survive.
From one world to another, from one wish to another, accompanied by unbearable pain, all just for survival…
And now I'm considering whether to kill myself or not because of what I've become.
For some reason, I began to understand why the Path of Despair is called the Forbidden Path…
Imagine yourself a prince who has lived his whole life tasting only the pleasures and happiness of life, never having suffered its torments, even the slightest…
No pain, no sorrow, no despair, no fear—an ideal life from every angle.
Then you foolishly choose to dive into the Path of Despair… No!
You merely choose to walk it, and you become as if you never tasted the sweetness of life.
This is the Path of Despair.
My teacher once told me if he were given a choice to live his life as a humiliated slave or to take the Path of Despair, he would choose the former without hesitation.
I thought he was scolding me then, boasting as usual…
But his words were pure gold.
Now I'm in a constant battle with despair over who will take full control of this body and soul…
It defeated me once before in the empire, and again in the Dragon Clan…
I'm certain the third time will be the last…
If it wins, everything will end for me.
Eternal rest? It can wait a little longer.
For now, I know what I must do.
"You owe me a slap with all your strength, oh pride~"
I hope you won't die then, for I have many questions indeed.
---
As despair crept into me, my unique skill rang as usual…
⁂__
⊕Black Wish⊕
Notice!
Last evolution failed for the function ⟦Virtue of Despair⟧ due to insufficient requirements!
Current progress: 80%
⁂__
It seems delving into despair isn't the only way to progress on the path…
Resisting it helped a little.
But it looks like the missing piece it demands is that ◼️◼️◼️. Right?
Maybe it means the story, or even overcoming self-forgetfulness…
My story is still waiting for me to see its end.
Anyway, I'm not in urgent need to evolve right now…
I'm strong enough—
"Son!!!"
Maybe?