The next morning I woke up by the alarm and quickly turned it off. Jeremy was still sleeping sprawled across the bed. I quickly freshened up and dressed up for the day. I started to feel weak just at the thought of meeting Kao again. I didn't know how to react if I saw him again. I wanted my answers but I didn't know how to approach him first.
"Good morning." Jeremy got out of bed and walked to the bathroom.
"Good morning." I smiled as he could barely open his eyes.
Kristen had already set the breakfast on the table and she greeted cheerfully as I took my seat at the dining.
"Did you get hungry late at night?" She asked.
I nodded. "Yeah, I actually fell asleep quite early and skipped my dinner. I woke up late at night and had noodles."
She smiled. "I see. Did your friend sleep over?"
"Ah yes."
She walked back to the kitchen and started to set another plate of breakfast. Soon, Jeremy walked out and took a seat.
"Slept well?" He asked, yawning loudly.
I nodded with a smile. "Thanks to you."
He grinned happily. "You should do some activities to tire you out like..." He trailed off, grinning ear to ear.
I laughed. "Sure."
"You should join the gym downstairs."
"Ah yes."
He leaned forward on the table. "And let's do some hot exercise at night."
I flushed, hardly swallowing my sandwich.
The day was gray again, depressed. I drove to school anxiously. I was still wondering what I was going to do. Maybe I should just ask him out to talk. But I didn't have the courage. I didn't have the courage to walk to him and god knows say what. What was he thinking? Maybe he didn't want to talk with me. He didn't say anything the day before too. In fact, he acted so normal like it didn't matter that we had suddenly met again.
"Mr. Kwan, Miss. Victoria is calling for you." The clerk announced from the door.
"Okay." I got out and made my way to the principal's office.
Victoria looked as bright as ever. Something about her aura was very elegant and sophisticated. she definitely dressed well and wore a nice perfume. She greeted me brightly with a polite smile and I reflected the same.
"Let's wait for the others to arrive. Then I will tell why I have called you all." She said, resting both her elbows on the desk.
I nodded. "Who else?"
"The doctor and the head of sports."
My heart fell. The doctor? I stared at the floor nervously.
"How are you liking it so far Mr. Kwan?" Victoria asked.
I smiled, hiding my nervousness. "I am liking it so far. The students are warming up to me."
"We have a complaint box and also a compliment box. It's not even a lot of time but you have got a lot of compliments already from students. It's a good feedback." She beamed.
My eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"
She nodded. "Yes. Keep up with the good work. The students said they feel comfortable with you."
Woah. I felt like spreading my wings and just fly around. I blushed. "Yes."
The door opened and two people walked in. I dared not to turn and look at them. They both took the two seat beside me. I held my breath as he sat next to me. I couldn't turn my head to look at him. My neck felt cranked.
"So..." Victoria began. "Since Mr. Ray quit out of the blue and Mr. Kwan have come as his substitute, we are giving all his works to Mr. Kwan. Ray was supposed to be the teacher in-charge for this trip and now Mr. Kwan will take over. Please explain him the details." Victoria smiled at us and I watched her in confusion. What trip was she talking about?
As if reading my mind, she started to explain. "We plan a graduation trip for all senior students every year. This time we planned a camp and assigned Mr. Ray as the teacher in-charge. He quit all of a sudden so you will be going in his place.
I blinked.
"Mr. Leo here is the head of sports department. He will be the main in-charge. And of course the medical team will go too so Mr. Kao here will go with a nurse. And you are the main teacher in-charge who will need to look after the students."
Was it really happening? It would be a great chance to talk with Kao.
"Uh...When is the trip?" I asked.
"In January. They have their exams next week. It will get over before Christmas. And the trip will be directly after new year."
I nodded. "Okay."
Victoria smiled. "You three can have a meeting of your own and discuss the details."
We three walked out of the office. I turned to face them-face the head of sports precisely-and smiled. I glanced at Kao who was staring at me with a soft look on his face. That face. That look. God, my heart clenched tightly.
"Mr. Kwan, let's have a meeting when you are free later." Mr. Leo smiled at me.
"Sure."
"Come to the Sports department whenever you are free." He said and walked away, leaving me to face my anxiousness.
Awkwardly, I turned to him. I couldn't make myself smile. I couldn't make myself speak. I could only stare. He stared back.
"H-How are you?" He asked.
I gasped internally. He spoke to me first. "Good. You?"
He nodded slowly with a little smile. My heart felt like it was going to burst. At that moment, those years of suffering was forgotten. That little smile warmed my heart and I just wanted to break down crying.
"Kao I-" The school bell rang and I realized I had a class to take. Shit.
He looked at me with wide eyes. His doe eyes. Oh god, my heart.
"Um I have a class." I said.
He nodded. "Okay."
I turned around and walked away. A lump had risen in my throat and no matter how much I tried to swallow it down, it just grew tighter.
I had a comfortable class with the senior students. They were interactive and friendly. There weren't many students so I could remember most of their names. They shared how nervous they were for their exams and I assured them they would do well. Honestly, I didn't set their paper. Mr. Ray had already set their question paper and left. I hadn't even seen what type of questions were set. The syllabus was over so they all were excited to discuss about their camping trip. Well, it made me excited too. School trips had always been fun. And this would be my first ever trip as a teacher in-charge.
After the class, I looked around for the sports department. I needed details about the trip from Mr. Leo. I wanted to see Kao again but it was obvious that we didn't have anything to discuss about the trip. But I really wanted to see him again, just to make sure it was really him again. So instead, I went to the medical chamber. To my disappointment, I could see from a distance that the door was closed. But as I stopped on my tracks, wondering if I should turn around and leave, I saw a man open the door and enter inside. It was definitely not him so I walked to the door and contemplated if I should just burst in or go in after the other person had left. I took a deep breath and decided to go in but then I could hear them. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but the conversation surprised me.
"Come on, you didn't even send me what I asked for and now you are ignoring me. You have developed some courage on me huh?"
I froze and frowned.
"Please, don't do anything here. This is my workplace." It was Kao's voice.
"I told you I would show up if you didn't listen to me. And see, I am here. I will find you if you try to hide and you know what happens when you disappoint me."
It was definitely a threat. With nervous hands, I twisted the knob and peeped in. Kao was sitting on the desk and the man was hovering over him. I clenched my jaw. I didn't like it.
"Hi doctor, um..." I couldn't find any excuse. As I looked at him, his eyes looked frightened. I didn't know what to do. And as he looked at me, he visibly tensed up even more.
"Oh, you are here. Sorry to kee you waiting. Let's go to Mr. Leo together." He said calmly and turned to face the other man who seemed annoyed by my appearance. He was visibly glaring at me.
Kao straightened up and fixed his doctor's gown. "You can leave. I have work." He said to the other man and walked to me.
I took a good look of that man. He was of an average height, black hair, tanned skin, had a poor dressing sense and had the most unfresh face.
I debated if I should ask him if everything was okay as Kao walked out with me and he led the way. I followed him on foot without any word. I glanced at him and tried to read his face. He looked dazed and lost.
"You okay?" I asked, not being able to bear his lost face.
He looked at me in surprise as if he had forgotten I was with him. "Oh. I-I am fine. I am sorry I blurted out about meeting Mr. Leo just like that. I actually had no idea why you came to me but I just guessed it would be that."
I looked at him for a moment. He was making excuses. Maybe he didn't know that I had heard their conversation.
I broke into an easy smile. "That's alright. I actually came to you to ask about Mr. Leo. I couldn't find his room."
His face relaxed a little. "Ah. Let me take you there. We actually walked the wrong way. It's the other side." He said, starting to walk the other way with me following on his foot.
I wanted to start a conversation on the way but I couldn't start. I didn't know what to say. I had so many questions for him. He was standing right in front of me. I couldn't explain what I was feeling. I didn't know what to say. Finally I gathered the courage to speak.
"Um Kao?" I called and he turned to look up at me. Looking into his eyes, my heart ached a little. His eyes seemed unfamiliar. I remembered the way he used to look at me- the look of love. But now they looked empty and hollow as if those eyes had seen so much that they didn't want to see anymore.
"Yeah?"
"Um...I was wondering if you...and I could grab dinner sometime..." I trailed off, my heart beating too fast.
His eyes lit up in surprise. "S-Sure."
I smiled with a nod.
We continued to make our way.
We met Mr. Leo and discussed about the trip in details. I exchanged number with Mr. Leo with a hope of exchanging numbers with Kao later too. But I didn't know how to ask for it. After the discussion, I walked Kao back to his room.
"Um so Friday night?" I asked.
He smiled. "Okay." That smile. That damned smile. I just wanted to hold him and tell how much I had suffered and how much I had missed him.
"Kwan?" He called as I turned to leave. And my name from his voice was something I had missed the most.
"Yes?" I turned to him.
He didn't speak and just looked at me for a brief moment. Then he shook his head. "Nothing."
I raised my eyebrows. "Okay..."
He smiled and I smiled back.