My name is Shiba Kaede. I'm an ordinary fifteen-year-old girl.
My mom works hard every day to support me and my older brother, Takumi. Our dad is somewhere overseas. I never really asked where. He left us. That was all I needed to know.
From the outside, our home probably looks normal. But inside… it isn't peaceful at all.
Onii-chan changed.
He's not the same big brother who used to buy me ice cream or play with me after school. He doesn't smile the way he used to. He barely talks anymore.
And… it's our fault.
When Onii-chan started getting into fights, when we heard he even punched his homeroom teacher, we didn't try to understand. We just thought he was violent. Scary. Disgusting.
I couldn't believe the kind big brother I loved could do something like that.
Then people at school started whispering.
They called me the little sister of a delinquent.
I still remember the day I confronted him.
"Onii-chan…" My voice was shaking. "They're calling me the little sister of a delinquent. They said you punched your teacher… please. Tell me it's not true."
He looked at me like he was drowning. His hands grabbed my shoulders, tight, desperate.
"I was just defending myself!" he said quickly. "Everyone's picking on me! You have to believe me, Kaede!"
But to me… just hearing that it was true was enough.
I slapped his hands away and snapped at him before I could stop myself.
"Don't touch me! I hate you!"
Then I ran.
I didn't look back.
Even now… I still haven't.
Later that day, I heard him arguing with Mom. I didn't mean to listen, but his voice carried.
He said something I don't even want to remember.
"It's your fault for giving birth to me," he shouted. "I didn't ask for any of this! You should've just had an abortion!"
I froze. I hid where I was and watched.
Mom slapped him.
Then Onii-chan came back with a knife.
I wanted to scream, but my body wouldn't move. I really thought he was going to kill her.
But then he said something else.
"Then if I'm such a shame to you and this family…" His voice broke. "Kill me. Kill me now."
He started shouting.
"I don't want to live anymore! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!"
My heart felt like it jumped out of my chest.
No.
I didn't want this.
How did it come to this?
Why did it have to be like this?
No matter how hard I tried to understand, it just wouldn't click.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Then one day, in the school corridor, I saw an older girl. She looked about Onii-chan's age—brown bob cut, glasses slightly crooked.
Her back was pressed to the wall. She clutched her notebook like it was the only thing keeping her upright.
Three girls surrounded her. Laughing. Calling her names. One of them yanked her hair.
My chest tightened.
I wanted to do something. Anything.
But my legs wouldn't move.
"I-It's not okay to—" I tried to say, stepping forward.
My voice died in my throat.
Then it happened.
Onii-chan walked past me.
He didn't hesitate. His eyes were sharp, angry. He grabbed one of the girls by the collar and lifted her just enough for her feet to leave the floor—then dropped her.
"Leave her alone," he said. "Now."
"Aaa— it's Shiba the delinquent!" one of them shrieked. "Run!"
The three girls scattered down the hallway.
Onii-chan turned to the girl.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Y-Yes… thank you—" she started.
But he was already walking away.
"Then it's fine," he said over his shoulder. "Be careful next time."
That was it.
I stood there, frozen.
I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.
Nothing made sense.
Why would Onii-chan be so violent… and still help someone like that?
Later, I went to his classroom. My heart was pounding as I asked some of the girls about him. About what he'd done.
They exchanged looks.
"They started it," one of them said quietly.
"They threw his notebooks away. Drew on his desk."
My breath caught.
Onii-chan had been telling the truth.
And I hadn't believed him.
That day, I went to his room.
I wanted to apologize. I wanted to tell him he wasn't wrong. That I believed him. That I—
I stopped in the doorway.
The chair was tipped wrong. Not fallen. Just… wrong.
Then I saw the rope.
For a second, my brain wouldn't connect it. I remember thinking it looked fake. Like something from TV.
Then I saw his face.
He was smiling. Not happy-happy. Just calm. Like he'd already decided something and didn't have to think anymore.
"ONII-CHAN!" I screamed.
My body moved before I knew what I was doing. I kicked the chair and it scraped loudly across the floor. He stumbled back and hit his head on the desk with a dull sound.
He didn't cry. He didn't even gasp.
He just stared at me.
Even now, I remember his eyes. Not scared. Not sad.
They were burning. Like he hated me so much it hurt to breathe.
"Kaede," he said, his voice low and shaking, "get the fuck out of my room."
"Onii-chan, you were about to—"
"Fuck does it matter to you?" he yelled. "Huh? It's better like this! For everyone!"
My head felt like it was splitting open.
No. No. No.
This is my fault.
If I had just listened. If I had just believed him—
Then Mom came in.
"What happened—"
She stopped when she saw us.
She rushed toward him, hands shaking, calling his name, but he slapped her hand away like it burned.
He looked at both of us. Not crying. Not screaming.
Just cold.
"You're not my family," he said. "Not anymore."
Then, quieter. Worse.
"Fuck you. Both of you."
I told Mom everything. That Onii-chan had been telling the truth all along.
We agreed… we'd treat him the same. Like before. Like nothing had happened. We hoped—prayed—that he'd go back to being the Onii-chan we used to know and love.
He never did.
THUD!
The front door slammed so hard I jumped.
I ran downstairs.
On the floor, there was a note. I picked it up, hands shaking. His handwriting.
"Starting today, I'll remove myself from your lives. It's what you wanted, so… goodbye, I guess.
Don't come looking for me. It won't end well."
I read it again. And again.
Tears ran down my face. I couldn't stop. I didn't even try.