The Imperial Palace
After the thunderous roar shook the room, a BANG! followed immediately, then a massive body flew out of the chamber like it had been launched by a cannon.
Slam!
Tang Yuan's enormous form crashed into the opposite wall, fat rippling violently before he collapsed to the floor with a sickening pop!.
The impact alone was enough to silence everyone, but then came the smell.
A putrid, stomach-turning stench filled the air, spreading like a poisonous fog. It was instant, overwhelming enough to make grown men gag.
One servant dropped to his knees, another started retching.
Tang Yuan lay there, naked and unconscious, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. His eyes were shut tight, and his buttocks—once round and proud—were swollen red, with two massive palm-shaped bruises.
They looked as if they'd been slapped by a god. Bleeding slightly and even possibly broken.
Everyone stared in horror and confusion.
What in the world had the fatty done to provoke Old Eunuch Zhu to this extent?
Inside the chamber, Eunuch Zhu stood trembling, his proud expression shattered. His white robes were soaked in a golden-yellow fluid, his mouth spewing vomit uncontrollably. His face, hair, beard—everything was drenched.
He looked like a man who had witnessed the end of the world.
Jun Mo Xie's plan had gone horribly wrong.
Thanks to one unfortunate accident, Tang Yuan had lost control... and Old Zhu had been baptized in the full force of the Yellow River.
The dam had burst—and the Empire would never forget.
Minister Tang was furious.
Furious was putting it lightly—he looked like a volcano moments away from eruption, veins bulging on his forehead like angry serpents as he cradled his half-dead son in his arms.
Anyone would be furious after watching their son turn into a mangled heap of blood, bruises, and broken bones!
WHY?! Because my son's a little fat!? He thought angrily, eyes red with rage. Even if he's shaped like a dumpling, does that give you the right to flatten him like one?!
Tang Yuan lay there like a collapsed sack of meat buns, barely breathing. His swollen buttocks looked like they had been tenderized by divine fury.
It could be said—without exaggeration—that Tang Yuan's life was spared only because he was born under the protective shade of the Tang Family Tree!
What was meant to be a simple prank—just a little puff of embarrassment during the Old Eunuch's... inspection—had turned into a catastrophic mess due to some interference.
The pill Jun Mo Xie had slipped him? It amplified. Instead of a fart, a tsunami was released.
Old Zhu, infamous across the palace for his obsession with hygiene, had never imagined that such a vile explosion of bodily betrayal could occur at close range. He had been… bathed in horror.
A golden waterfall of doom.
If it weren't for the Tang Family's importance to the Emperor, the old eunuch might've ripped the fatty apart then and there. He wanted to. You could see it in his eyes. But diplomacy kept the blade sheathed—barely.
"ZHU ZHU ZHU! WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS THIS?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF, YOU ANCIENT TOAD!" Minister Tang roared like a thunderstorm, his grief mixing with fury as he looked ready to disassemble Old Zhu into spare parts.
The room fell into tense silence... and then, from the depths of the inner chamber came a voice—dark, cold, and rumbling with disgust.
"Tang Qian Yu... If this pig weren't Tang Wan Li's grandson, I would have already torn him limb from limb. In fact, if you weren't Tang Wan Li's son, you'd be next. Now pick up your little lard-ball and leave, before I change my mind and make this a double funeral!"
HUURRGGHH! BLEURGH!!
The sounds of retching followed immediately. The Old Eunuch hadn't recovered. His robes still reeked. His soul may never recover.
"And, all those who are waiting outside can go take a hike too!" The Old Eunuch's thundering voice was followed by sounds of vomiting, and everyone could tell that the Old Eunuch was in a very bad condition himself.
Everyone in the waiting area turned pale. They looked at each other in horror. No one dared ask what had happened to provoke such wrath... but they all had one thought.
Whatever that fatty did... it was unnatural.
Without another word, the crowd scattered like terrified pigeons—running for their lives, covering their mouths, some jumping out of windows just to avoid the smell lingering near the door.
Minister Tang, fists clenched and teeth grinding, looked as though he might return with an army—but a wise man knows when to back down.
Gritting his teeth, he scooped up the moaning, leaking remains of his son and stormed off toward the nearest doctor.
The only sound that remained in the palace halls... was the dry-heaving of a broken man in a golden-stained robe.
The truth? That would have to wait until the next day.Because that evening, the storm arrived.
BOOM!!
The grand gates of the Imperial Palace exploded open as Tang Wan Li, the Patriarch of the Tang Family, marched inside like a divine beast on a warpath!
His face? Darker than thunderclouds.
"ZHU!!" Tang Wan Li roared, his voice making birds fall out of the sky. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GRANDSON?! ARE YOU SENILE?! ARE YOU POSSESSED?! THIS IS MADNESS!"
But no amount of fury could prepare him for Old Zhu's response or, more accurately, the sight of a man still quivering in trauma, hosed down in perfume, and burping up lemon-scented disinfectant every five seconds.
Old Zhu could barely speak. The mere mention of Tang Yuan made his eye twitch and bile rise.
And so, Grandfather Tang was forced to return home in defeat.
He came seeking justice but left feeling like he owed the eunuch an apology.
------
Meanwhile, at the Tang residence...
The entire household had become a battlefield hospital.
Tang Yuan lay on a king-sized mattress surrounded by incense, charms, and herbal compresses, his swollen behind elevated on twelve embroidered pillows like it was a national treasure.
He looked less like a young noble and more like a blown-up toad who lost a fight with a meat grinder.
Despite the overwhelming fury at Tang Yuan's actions, Grandfather Tang and Minister Tang held back their rage, for now.
They had invested fortunes, sacrificed connections, and had even begun planning a celebration for Tang Yuan's successful entrance into the Imperial service.
And now?
Now their heir had become famous for baptizing the Old Eunuch with the wrath of a cursed colon.
"This..." Minister Tang whispered in disbelief, "… this fool didn't just embarrass us. He unleashed a tactical shit strike directly onto the most hygiene-obsessed man in the Empire."
Grandfather Tang clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles bled.
"I've heard that stress can cause diarrhea," He muttered darkly. "But I thought it was a metaphor!"
And then, when Tang Yuan finally awoke, moaning in pain like a wounded cow, his grandfather's face twisted.
He had waited for this moment.
"You dare show your face alive, you stinking disgrace?! YOU ARE NO LONGER MY GRANDSON! FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD, YOU ARE BANISHED! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE—AND OUT OF THE FAMILY!!"
The order echoed across the estate, shattering vases and probably several servant hearts.
However, the fatty was still so loyal that he chose to keep Jun Mo Xie's role a secret!
Through the pain, he managed to rasp out.
"P-Please... take me... to the Jun residence…"
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