Chapter 09: Putting the Real Jellal to ShameFanfic by: Geraint(Nero's POV)— Year X782, Tenrou Island —
I was sitting cross-legged on the grass, staring blankly at the sky while Lolibaba (a.k.a. the ghost of Mavis Vermillion) and Uncle Makarov stood in front of me like judges ready to hand down a life sentence.
Lolibaba looked like she was on the verge of a migraine, fuming after listening to Uncle Makarov list all my "recent crimes."
She flipped open a newspaper and started trembling.
"Nero, you ungrateful brat. What's the meaning of this?!"
She shoved the newspaper into my face.
"Lolibaba, I swear—that's not me. That's the real Jellal," I said calmly.
"You little gremlin!" she snapped. "Who else but you would hang stolen panties on a church altar with 'Jellal Fernandes' written on each one of them?!"
"…Okay, I can see why that looks bad."
"I've known you for years! Don't try to outsmart me. I heard about the R-System nearing completion, and Jellal going around pretending to be 'Siegrain' in the Magic Council. Now the military's after him, and you're forced to hide because you look exactly like him! That's why you're pulling this Jellal-framing stunt!"
I averted my eyes.
"Aha! Guilty conscience!"
Makarov stepped forward. "Also, Nero… Mira came crying to me. Said you stole her panties and displayed them in town."
"Hmph. That's what she gets for pranking my cooking. She sabotaged our dinner with chili powder, and I was the only one who figured it out—too late, of course. Everyone else suffered. Except Natsu. So I retaliated. Fair and square."
"…By stealing her underwear."
"A man's got to protect his dignity."
Makarov sighed. "What about Mystogan?"
"Oh, Edolas Jellal? Yeah, we've met. We talked it out. We both agreed we're cursed with that guy's face."
"Well, at least there's no bad blood there. Still… why does he always wear a mask?"
Lolibaba, now suddenly giddy, leaned in with sparkly eyes.
"Neroooo~! Makarov told me you and Erza are getting pretty close. Are you two dating yet? Huh? Huh?!"
"Shut up, Lolibaba!" I pushed her face away. "Not yet!"
"What?! It's been six years and still no development? That's tragic! I even heard Erza's the one inviting you out. Shouldn't it be the man making the moves?"
"Ugh..." Okay, that one stung.
"So, Nero! Hurry up and bring me a great-grandchild already!" she said, hands on hips.
"Loli—No! Stop imagining that far ahead!"
Makarov cleared his throat. "My grandson Laxus, along with Erza and Mirajane, have already become S-Class Mages. So why won't you accept the promotion?"
I shrugged. "I don't want to be a full-time wizard. I want to be a world-class chef. Guild missions are just a side hustle."
"That's fine—but at least take the test. Erza and Mira can't beat you, and Laxus is questionable. Gildarts is off on a 100-Year Quest, so this is your chance."
"…Do I really have to? It's such a pain."
"Erza begged me to convince you," he added.
"Fine," I groaned.
"You might find good ingredients on an S-Class mission~," Lolibaba drooled.
"Erza already brings me ingredients!"
"Nerooo! A real man hunts!" she scolded, pinching my cheeks.
"Alright! Alright! I'll do it!"
"When's the trial?" I asked Uncle.
"Once we get back to the guild."
"Eh?! Isn't that a bit early?! It's still months away from December!"
"That's why. You'll just get lazy if we wait."
"Ugh… fine…"
— Four Days Later —(3rd Person POV)
Outside Magnolia, in an open field near the town, the entirety of Fairy Tail had gathered to witness the most absurd S-Class Trial setup in guild history.
Laxus cracked his knuckles. "Old man, what the hell is this?"
"Yeah, Master. You're putting me in this, too?" Mira asked nervously.
"Why am I involved?!" Erza shouted, flustered.
"This is Nero's S-Class promotion test," Makarov declared. "The three of you—Laxus, Erza, Mirajane—plus me will fight him."
"WHAT?!"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! FOUR VERSUS ONE?!" the crowd gasped.
Laxus growled. "Are you trying to kill him, old man?!"
Meanwhile, hidden behind the trees, Mystogan watched from afar, mask off, eyes narrowed.
"I think it's time they knew the truth," Makarov said solemnly. "Nero… is the adopted grandson of Master Mavis Vermillion."
The entire guild fell silent.
"What you've seen from him so far? That's just a taste. Now we'll see what he's really capable of."
Nero yawned and stood lazily. "Can we hurry this up? I'm sleepy."
Laxus snapped. "THAT'S IT!"
He raised a fist toward the sky.
"Resounding through the air, the roar of thunder—plunge from the heavens and reap destruction!"
A bolt of lightning came crashing down toward Nero.
But with terrifying reflexes, Nero casually stepped aside.
He picked up a wooden stick from the ground. "This'll do."
He twirled it like a child playing ninja.
"STOP PLAYING AROUND!" Laxus roared. "Lightning Dragon's Roar!"
A massive blast of lightning barreled toward Nero—
"FULL COUNTER!"
Nero swung the stick like a baseball bat.
The lightning reflected back—double in size.
"WHAT?!"
BOOOOM!
Laxus was sent flying, crashing into trees.
'He's fine. Just got tossed,' Nero thought.
He dashed toward Mira.
"NOT AGAIN!"
"STEAL!"
"Kyaaaaah!"
Mira fell back, face red, as Nero spun a black pair of panties on his finger.
"One down."
He turned to Erza.
"Sorry, Erza. You're next."
"Come at me!" she readied herself.
"STEAL!"
…Nothing.
Nero blinked. "Huh?!"
Only a tiny coin appeared in his hand.
"What?! Why?!"
Erza smirked. "You can't steal my panties if I'm not wearing any."
...
The silence was deafening.
Nero's face twitched.
'Right… I forgot. She's like that, too.'
(To be continued.)