Warning: Sexual Content
The morning air hung heavy between them, thick with unspoken accusations and the echoes of a broken promise. Mu Dishi stood, a formidable silhouette framed by the entrance of the bamboo hut, his gaze sharp and glacial on the blindfolded Ma Jingguo. Each breath Ma Jingguo took felt like a betrayal, each beat of his heart a testament to his defiance.
"We had a deal," Mu Dishi stated, his voice flat and cutting, a precise dismissal that sliced through the pre-dawn quiet.
Ma Jingguo flinched, not from the words, but from the coldness behind them. "We did," he conceded, his voice heavy with a profound sadness that seemed to gather in the misty air. "I promised xiao shushu that I would never see xiao shushu again."
Mu Dishi's jaw tightened. "Then why are you here?" he demanded, the question a whip-crack of impatience he struggled to suppress.
"I... I'm worried for your safety," Ma Jingguo confessed, the words raw, tearing free despite his efforts to control them.
"I am fine now. You can go away. Today is supposed to be your wedding day," Mu Dishi insisted, his tone unwavering, pushing him away with every syllable.
"I wrote a note before I came," Ma Jingguo pleaded, a desperate, almost pathetic hope clinging to his voice.
"You can go back now." The command was absolute, leaving no room for argument.
"Xiao shushu," Ma Jingguo pressed, his voice filled with a raw, bleeding vulnerability, "do you really think that Shijie and I are a perfect match?"
Mu Dishi offered no answer, his silence a stark, impenetrable wall between them. The quiet stretched, agonizing.
"Xiao shushu, in my opinion," Ma Jingguo continued, his voice swelling with a conviction that defied the pain, "I still believe wholeheartedly that you and I are perfect for each other."
"We are not and will never be. We are very different," Mu Dishi retorted, the words sharp, deliberately honed to wound.
Ma Jingguo protested, a desperate plea in his voice that cracked with emotion. "Xiao shushu, you have a cold personality, while I have a warm one! I can melt your ice!"
"Stop it!" Mu Dishi cut him off, his voice rising in anger, his composure finally fraying. "I don't want to hear it! I've told you; we don't think the same way."
"Xiao shushu," Ma Jingguo persisted, ignoring the anger, "when you are back in the cave, do you think about me?"
"No," Mu Dishi answered coldly, his face a mask of indifference. In truth, Mu Dishi thought about Ma Jingguo incessantly. Everything inside that cave reminded him of the younger man—it was why he had decided to leave the cave in the first place, seeking escape from the omnipresent memories.
Ma Jingguo's voice broke, thick with emotion. "Xiao shushu, your happiest moments might be when you are with Wang Biming, but I want you to know that my happiest moments were inside that cave with you. I really wish I could go back and comb your hair again. I really wish I could cook for you again. I really wish I could sit side by side at the dining table with you again." He paused, a sob catching in his throat, as hot tears ran freely down his cheeks. "My biggest wish is to live a carefree life and sail down the Yangtze River with you."
"You finished telling me your wishes," Mu Dishi said, his voice flat, devoid of any discernible reaction. "You can leave now."
"Why do you always act like this?" Ma Jingguo cried out, his voice raw with pain and frustration. "Chasing me away every chance you have?"
"You need to return to Jinfeng Sect and get married," Mu Dishi insisted, his words a painful echo of his conviction that Ma Jingguo belonged elsewhere.
"I agreed to this marriage because you told me to do it," Ma Jingguo countered, a bitter truth in his voice. "But I realized this is not what I really want. What I want is you. Xiao shushu, do you remember the first time we met? You rejected me and cursed at me to scram, but I insisted on following you to the cave. In the end, I was able to stay with you for five years."
Mu Dishi's anger flared, and he walked out of the bamboo hut, striding purposefully towards Ma Jingguo. "This time is different," he declared, his voice hard.
Ma Jingguo's voice was filled with a devastating hurt, utterly defeated. "I can accept Wang Biming's existence. I can accept that your first kiss belongs to Wang Biming. I can accept that your first hug belongs to Wang Biming. I can accept that the first time your hand was held was with Wang Biming. I can even accept that no matter how much I love you, my position will always be behind Wang Biming. I know who I am to you, where I should stand. I know that I am your enemy's son, but do you know... This son of your enemy... loves you wholeheartedly. He doesn't need much from you other than to be by your side, and from time to time, to be able to glance at you."
Mu Dishi sighed, a sound of exasperated weariness. "You are letting your emotions mess with your mind. Your thinking is not clear. Go back to Jinfeng Sect."
"I've been very honest and clear to my heart," Ma Jingguo countered, his voice steady now, resolute. "Has xiao shushu also been honest to your heart?"
"I don't need to answer you," Mu Dishi said coldly, turning his face away. "Even if you die in front of me... I wouldn't care."
"Very well then." Ma Jingguo's voice was eerily calm. He took out his knife and, with a swift, desperate motion, stabbed his right-side abdomen. He pulled the knife out, a trail of crimson following, and was about to stab himself again when Mu Dishi's hand shot out, grabbing his wrist with surprising force. The knife clattered to the ground. In that instant, Ma Jingguo pulled Mu Dishi into a fierce, tight embrace. He whispered, his voice choked with tears, "Xiao shushu, why do you always have to hurt me before you care for me?"
The memory of past pain, vivid and searing, flashed through Ma Jingguo's mind. The third day after he had followed Mu Dishi into the cave, the residual effects of the Fire Palm Strike from the young Lamas had flared up. He had felt his entire body consumed by an unbearable heat, writhing and twisting in agony on the floor inside his bedroom. He had watched, helpless and hurting, as Mu Dishi walked past his bedroom without lifting a finger to help him. The pain had gnawed at him throughout the entire night, a torturous inferno, until morning finally broke. He had truly believed he was close to dying.
That morning, Mu Dishi had indeed walked past his bedroom, finding the ten-year-old boy still lying on the floor, grunting in agonizing pain. "You are a man," Mu Dishi had said coldly, his voice devoid of sympathy. "It's just a little pain, endure it."
Ma Jingguo had grunted, tears streaming down his face as he pleaded, "Xiao shushu... I am in a lot of pain, and I feel my entire body is on fire. Xiao shushu... please... kill... me. I can't... take this pain... anymore."
Mu Dishi had tossed a knife onto the floor near him. "Kill yourself. I don't want your blood to dirty my hands." And with that, he had walked away, leaving Ma Jingguo to his torment.
Ma Jingguo had felt utterly abandoned, a profound sadness settling over him, the conviction that there was no one left in this world who would ever love him. The two people who had loved him more than anything were his dead parents. Slowly, painfully, he had crawled towards the knife. He unsheathed it from its scabbard and, with a grim determination, stabbed himself into his right abdomen. He lay there in a growing pool of blood, awaiting death, until consciousness finally faded.
The next thing he remembered was an overwhelming sensation of cold. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Mu Dishi beside him, passing his internal energy to heal him. He looked down and realized they were both sitting on blocks of ice, the chilling cold battling the residual heat of the poison. This was the first time he had truly felt love from a stranger. He looked at Mu Dishi, noting how incredibly handsome he was, especially with his eyes closed—Mu Dishi's long eyelashes and slightly pinkish lips made him strikingly beautiful in ways Ma Jingguo couldn't explain. He smiled weakly at Mu Dishi, who was concentrating intently, pouring his internal energy into saving his life. Then, Ma Jingguo had made a silent promise to himself: he would always be beside Mu Dishi and protect him with his own life.
Mu Dishi pulled his hands away from Ma Jingguo's as soon as he knew Ma Jingguo had woken up. He looked coldly at Ma Jingguo and said, "You lie down on these three blocks of ice for the next two days."
Ma Jingguo, a soft smile on his face, obeyed obediently, his heart filled with a quiet contentment.
That night, when he woke from his sleep, Ma Jingguo saw a bowl of medicine and a bowl of rice congee next to him. He knew, instinctively, that Mu Dishi must have made them for him. He happily ate the rice congee and drank the medicine, a warmth spreading through him that had nothing to do with the ice beneath. Two days later, Ma Jingguo was finally allowed to get off the ice.
Ma Jingguo and Mu Dishi sat at the table with two dishes of food between them.
"Eat," Mu Dishi commanded, his voice cold as ever.
Ma Jingguo looked at the slightly burnt food, the vegetables with pork too salty, and began to eat. He had difficulty swallowing it down, but he still ate every bite with a bright, unwavering smile. The fish was so burnt that it tasted like ash, yet he ate it all with a big smile, simply because Mu Dishi had made it.
Ma Jingguo smiled warmly at Mu Dishi and said, "Xiao shushu, I will cook from now on."
"Why?" Mu Dishi asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.
"I don't want xiao shushu to have more chores on your hands," Ma Jingguo explained, his eyes wide and earnest, like an innocent puppy. "I will cook, clean, and wash our clothes." He smiled at Mu Dishi, his large, guileless eyes shining.
Just a few steps into the bamboo hut. That's all it took for the memory to tear into Ma Jingguo, dragging him back to the day love first twisted its knife in his heart.
Mu Dishi took Ma Jingguo inside the bamboo hut. He removed Ma Jingguo's blindfold and then his robe, revealing the familiar landscape of Ma Jingguo's body. he saw the small, fresh scar on Ma Jingguo's abdomen; the knife cut was just below the old, faded scar from ten years ago. He examined the new wound, noting that the internal organs seemed undamaged. He meticulously stitched Ma Jingguo and bandaged the wound. As he worked, he realized that ten years ago, when he had stitched Ma Jingguo, he was a little boy. Now, that little boy with a flat stomach had grown into a man with strong abdominal muscles, a man who was even taller than him.
Ma Jingguo watched Mu Dishi patch his wound, a quiet adoration in his eyes. He reached out his right hand, his fingers gently tracing Mu Dishi's left cheek. He asked softly, the question a continued ache, "Xiao shushu, you haven't answered me. Why do you always hurt me before you care for me?"
Mu Dishi didn't answer, his expression unreadable.
Ma Jingguo scoffed sadly, a tear tracing a path down his temple. "I already know the answer, but I still want to hear it from xiao shushu."
"Since you already know the answer, why ask?" Mu Dishi said coldly, still not looking at Ma Jingguo, his gaze fixed on some distant point.
Ma Jingguo shifted, positioning himself closer towards Mu Dishi. "Xiao shushu." He held Mu Dishi's face with both of his hands, gently turning him to meet his gaze. "If you are disgusted by my face, you can pretend I am Wang Biming." He pulled Mu Dishi's face closer to him and kissed Mu Dishi's lips, a desperate, tender plea.
When Mu Dishi was kissed by Ma Jingguo, a profound realization dawned on him: Ma Jingguo was genuinely, deeply sad. He admitted, to himself, that he was touched by Ma Jingguo's words. Ma Jingguo must love him so much that he was willing to be another person, a shadow, just to make him happy. To be honest, if Wang Biming were still alive, Wang Biming might not have been able to do and say what Ma Jingguo had just done and spoken.
This time, Mu Dishi didn't pull away. Instead, a hesitant response began to form, and he started to kiss Ma Jingguo back, a raw, unexpected surge of desire.
In a burst of excited joy, Ma Jingguo picked Mu Dishi up onto his lap, and the two men began to kiss with fervent hunger, sucking at each other's lips.
Mu Dishi felt Ma Jingguo's strong, muscular, firm arms tightly wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly close. Ma Jingguo's lips moved over his entire face, then down his neck, leaving a trail of fire.
After kissing for a while, Ma Jingguo, emboldened, began to untie Mu Dishi's belt sash, his fingers trembling slightly, and then slowly took off Mu Dishi's robe. He gently laid Mu Dishi on the bed and removed Mu Dishi's pants. Ma Jingguo knelt on the bed, his gaze reverent, and then lowered his head, taking Mu Dishi's member into his mouth and beginning to suck.
Mu Dishi felt Ma Jingguo's soft, moist mouth and tongue circling around his member, sending shivers through him. Then, Ma Jingguo's sucking rhythm became faster and faster, and Mu Dishi's breaths came in short, ragged pants.
Ma Jingguo then inserted his finger inside Mu Dishi's backdoor, a careful, deliberate motion, and began to thrust gently while still sucking and licking Mu Dishi's member. After a while, he inserted his second finger inside Mu Dishi's backdoor, slowly preparing him.
When Ma Jingguo inserted two of his fingers inside Mu Dishi's backdoor, Mu Dishi felt a strange, new sensation—intensely pleasurable, yet unfamiliar. As Ma Jingguo thrust his fingers faster, Mu Dishi began to moan, a soft, involuntary sound escaping his lips.
Ma Jingguo then flipped Mu Dishi onto his hands and knees. He spat onto his right hand and carefully smeared his saliva onto Mu Dishi's backdoor, preparing him further. Ma Jingguo then slowly, agonizingly, inserted his member into Mu Dishi's backdoor inch by inch.
When Ma Jingguo inserted his big, hard member fully inside Mu Dishi, Mu Dishi felt an initial burning and stinging. As Ma Jingguo pushed his member in further, Mu Dishi started to feel a sharp, undeniable pain.
"Jingguo, take it out! It hurts! Take it out!" Mu Dishi cried out, his voice strained.
Ma Jingguo did not want to take it out. They had come so far, too far to stop now. A complex mix of emotions churned within Ma Jingguo: even if Wang Biming had kissed Mu Dishi first, held Mu Dishi's hands first, hugged Mu Dishi first, and ranked first in Mu Dishi's heart, Ma Jingguo wanted to be the first to take Mu Dishi's virginity. Perhaps it was anger, or overwhelming jealousy, or a desperate need to claim something for himself. With a sudden, aggressive shove, Ma Jingguo buried his entire member deep inside Mu Dishi's backdoor.
Mu Dishi cried out in sharp pain, "Ah!"
Ma Jingguo panted heavily, his breath hot against Mu Dishi's ear. "Sorry xiao shushu. I can't stop myself. Please, let me."
Ma Jingguo did not hear any verbal response from Mu Dishi, only a choked gasp. He began to thrust slowly from behind Mu Dishi. He stared at Mu Dishi's soft buttocks, his narrow waist, and his soft, smooth back, which only made him want Mu Dishi even more. As he thrust deeper inside Mu Dishi, he grabbed Mu Dishi's buttocks, gently squeezing them. He lowered his head and began to kiss the soft, smooth skin of Mu Dishi's back, which made Mu Dishi moan louder, a mixture of pain and building pleasure. When Mu Dishi moaned louder, he then began to thrust faster, his rhythm quickening.
"Xiao shushu," Ma Jingguo panted heavily beside Mu Dishi's right ear, his voice rough with passion and raw honesty, "I really, really like you." He continued thrusting from behind Mu Dishi, his big hands tightly holding onto Mu Dishi's narrow waist, his body moving with a powerful, relentless rhythm.
Ma Jingguo continued to thrust from behind, and Mu Dishi, on the receiving end, was helpless except to utter painful moans that slowly turned into gasps of pleasure. He felt Ma Jingguo's big hands touching him all over, from his upper back towards his buttocks, exploring his form. Ma Jingguo's kisses on his back sent shivers down his spine, awakening new sensations. When Ma Jingguo began to thrust faster behind him, he felt both intense pleasure and lingering pain, intertwined in a dizzying crescendo.