Luckily, it didn't take me long to find the open window or open door, this time to get into my room for the night. The climb was simple, my feet landing soundlessly on the sill before I slipped inside with a foxlike grace that came naturally to me these days.
"Finally, back, huh?" Kayda said this when I walked into the room.
"Hm, you here?" I asked, blinking, a little confused to see her sitting there so casually on the bed, as if she owned the place.
"Yeah, I want to see that curse of yours again. Just to make certain it doesn't change again." Kayda said, her tone halfway between worry and command as she turned towards me, her crimson eyes gleaming faintly in the lamplight.
"Oh, okay. Just let me shower, and then I'll be back."
"…okay, make it quick," Kayda said with a dangerous glint in her eyes, one that would have made most people freeze.
"Don't think I missed that glint in your eye," I commented dryly, giving her a long side glance as I headed for the bathroom.
"Tsk, it's not as if you dislike it," Kayda said, pouting like a child, though her voice carried that familiar sharpness that never quite let me forget she was a dragon.
"…that… might be true," I muttered inaudibly, my ears twitching in betrayal.
I still couldn't believe that she had been watching me ever since I kissed her on the head at that lake. Three weeks of noticing her gaze lingering, her excuses about "checking the curse marks," and her little smirks when she thought I wasn't paying attention. The worst part? I didn't even mind. Fuck, I hadn't even peeked at her yet, and I was somebody before. A teenage guy with working eyes, for crying out loud. Now I was a girl, cursed up to my spine, and somehow she was the shameless one. We hadn't even kissed yet.
Slap.
"Calm down, you dumb fox," I muttered, rubbing my now sore cheeks. The sting grounded me, like it always did.
Opening my eyes again, I looked at the mirror.
I stood one meter and ninety-seven centimeters tall, lean with muscle where it mattered, and scarred in places I pretended not to notice. Blood-red hair cut short to six centimeters, with a streak of icy white about a centimeter thick running across the crown, catching the light like frost. The hair was messy, spiking in every direction, but not enough to hide the pair of fox ears twitching on top of my head. As I looked down, I saw two black eyes with red fox-shaped irises staring back at me. They always unsettled people. My lips were on the smaller side, but sharp canines pressed against them when I tightened my jaw.
As if that weren't monstrous enough, two lines ran down from each eye to my cheekbones, like trails of blackened lightning fused with fire. The lines didn't stop there—they traveled down my neck, curling towards my shoulders, then abruptly shifted course towards my back. They met at the spine, pooling together into a dark, storm-like tattoo, three centimeters high and six wide, constantly shifting faintly as if alive. From the pool sprouted branching shapes, like lightning bolts disguised as tree roots, stretching lower towards my hips. Clouds, etched in black ink resembling fire, surrounded the pool, twisting and devouring unseen light while pulsing faintly as if they were hungry.
I touched the lines with my fingers and shivered.
"Sigh, I'm not even pretty anymore. "I'm just a pure monster at this point," I whispered bitterly, sighing as I reached for my sports bra to lift it and check if the lines had spread.
The creak of the door startled me.
"That's not true, and you know it." Kayda's voice came, softer this time, as she walked up to me.
"Hm, not just going to peek today?" I said this while smirking at her reflection in the mirror.
"Hey, don't try and change the subject," Kayda said with a severe expression, her sharp brows pulling together.
"What subject? Are you peeking at me or taking a shower?" I teased, tilting my head.
All I got was her silence. A long, unamused stare.
"So about you peeking on me," I said, smiling again, refusing to let her silence win.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why don't you talk to me about how you feel?" she pressed, her voice steady now.
"That's a dumb question," I said, looking at her as if she were the idiot.
"So, you don't trust me," she shot back.
"No, I do trust you, but this is far too personal for me to just tell you," I said, shaking my head slowly.
"So, you don't trust me enough?"
"In a way, yes."
"But—"
"Don't get me wrong," I cut in quickly, "I know we're soulmates. But I've known you for like a month, almost two. And I don't even know if what you said about us being soulmates is true. Yes, I do like you. Yes, I feel a connection. But I don't love you yet. Love and similar emotions still take me time to develop. My mother took three years to get me to open up. For three years, she was the only person I saw besides the guards and servants. Regardless of what you have experienced, everyone eventually breaks down at some point. And I…" My voice faltered, dropping to a whisper, "…I've been looking for that kind of connection for so long."
Kayda stared at me, her face softening slightly. "I see what you mean. But I want to understand how my present self, given the trust you currently have in me, can assist you. Her arms wrapped around me gently.
"Hm, that's a good question," I said, looking down at her, petting her head almost absentmindedly.
"You can tell me, you know. I can hold my tongue if I feel like it," she insisted, her voice stubborn with dragon pride.
"That might be true, but stop feeling me up and get out. I need a shower like now." I said, pulling her arms off me.
"Ugh, it's not my fault, okay," Kayda whined but didn't resist.
"Yes, yes, you weirdo."
I pushed her towards the door. Inside, I cursed myself. I should have never kissed her forehead that night. That one small act had set this all off.
"Hey, you don't need to push like this!"
"Shut it. Now go out. I need to think on my own."
"…Can I stay and wait? In the room, of course."
"…yes, and don't bring out your wings for tonight, okay?" I said after a pause.
"But—"
"I wouldn't complain if I were you, body pillow."
"Body pillow? Wait—" she started, then froze, realizing what I meant.
"Shoo and shut it," I said, kicking her lightly in the back, sending her stumbling out of the bathroom.
I quickly put up an ice wall across the bathroom for privacy, crouching on the floor as my face burned crimson.
"Haah, why did I say that! So embarrassing!" I groaned, slapping my cheeks again.
"I'm way too sensitive today," I muttered.
The memory of the ocean rose unbidden. The coastlines of Japan, the vast blue horizon, and the scent of salt in the wind always calmed me down. It had always calmed me down. Maybe today's view in Annabald had made me nostalgic.
"Guess I still miss my old life… Or is it just the sea?" I whispered to myself while undressing and stepping into the shower.
Contrary to what people might assume, I hated warm showers. They burned my skin and left red marks for days, and even my regeneration couldn't fix it fast. Kayda had learned that the hard way when she tried to draw me a hot bath a few weeks back.
I wasn't having a good day. The bath didn't help.
For three days straight I'd looked like a tomato. Three days where I wrapped myself up like a burrito to hide from everyone. It wasn't funny then. It wasn't funny now.
My new curse tattoo has already made people avoid me. Civilians, adventurers, even guild staff—they all stiffened, stepping back when I entered. Not that I minded much; moving through crowds became easier. The only downside? The receptionist at the guild was always a stuttering mess when I came near.
That reminded me—I still had to check in at Anabald's adventurers' guild. Technically, Kayda and I were supposed to report whenever we stayed in a city. Not that it mattered. I doubted we'd take any quests.
Well… maybe one or two. This could serve as a suitable pretext for conducting an investigation.
[Later that night]
"Uhm, Kitsuna. Are you sure about this?" Kayda's hesitant voice pulled me out of my drifting thoughts.
I blinked. Somewhere along the line, I'd ended up on the bed, cuddling her, with me as the big spoon. Her hair tickled my nose, and her warmth pressed against me.
"Are you against this?" I asked calmly.
"Well, you're freezing, you know. I might be a scorch dragon and all, but I can still feel cold."
"I understand, but I don't see you making any effort to move."
"...Well, you're in a sensitive position at the moment, so I'm taking advantage of it."
"If you say so."
Silence stretched for a while, broken only by our breathing.
"Did you know the sea—the ocean—was my favorite view in Japan?" I finally murmured.
"Japan? Where did you come from?" she asked, shifting slightly.
"Yeah. It's a large island located in the northern region of my former homeland. The year I spent running, traveling… I saw the ocean a lot. It always calmed me down and cleared my head. Today was the first time in a while I felt that clear. I don't like it," I admitted softly.
"So, you're more relaxed."
"No, more clear-headed. This clarity makes me reflect on my behavior over the past few months. My tone turned sharp with dissatisfaction.
"You don't like how you've been acting, do you?" Kayda said gently.
I said nothing.
"How do you want to spend the next month, then?" she asked, concern in her voice.
"I think we stick with the original plan—find the head of Anabald."
"But—"
"I've lived under stress for years. I won't cave easily. But little tomato girl is running on fumes. Earlier, while I was sneaking in, I heard her shouting around the mansion. I sighed.
Kayda's eyes widened. "Sigh, you're right. She might act mature, but she's only fourteen."
"Yeah. She's not like Amari and me. We've lived seventeen years before all this. She hasn't."
"So, you want to help her."
"In a way. And… I want a favor from her in the end."
"…Kitsuna." Kayda pulled back slightly, giving me a warning look.
"Relax, it's nothing awful. I just want some info on devils. For Nero." I smiled faintly.
"Fine. But what about afterward?"
"Afterward, we head to the Draigs' territory. I need smithing done." My grin widened.
"Sigh… you and weapons," Kayda muttered, shaking her head helplessly.