seldom discuss my past exploits with my second wife. We share all things except the truth in this marriage it seems. There are certain layers I'll never quite peel back, for legal reasons and otherwise.
I guess it all started back in the summer of 2008. If things had gone according to plan, I would have gone to school and started my junior year like the rest of my friends. Three weeks of my summers since the 6th grade were spent at Vacation Bible Camp. Each year held a new theme and each theme latched onto whatever was trending. The year prior, 'Crank Dat Soulja Boy' was the hottest song with suburban white youth. So the camp theme was absurdly titled: Crank Dat - Souljas for Jesus.
Bible Camp, the year it all fell apart was titled: Iron Man - Iron Sharpens Iron, Steel Sharpens Steel. A lot of these themes are long since forgotten, but I'll always remember Iron Man because of the camp shirts. Each year we were assigned a stack of custom camp shirts in our size. Our mother sent in the information long before we arrived. The Iron Man themed shirt had the Iron Man mask(altered enough to bypass copyright) on the chest.
I remember these shirts so vividly because it was all me and my sister wore for the years to come. A day in a half into camp my mother drove onto the field, collected me and Susie, and left. She already had our bags in the trunk. Our last bit of youthful freedom was charring hotdogs over an open fire the night of arrival and playing dodgeball before lunch.
Susie, or as she prefers to be referred to now, Susanne, is two years older than me. This would have been her last year of camp, she was 18. I suppose she could have returned as a counselor but that is only for the truly dedicated Christians. Camp was fun regardless of how much you bought the whole Jesus thing. Sure, we sang songs in the woods and read from the bible. But we went rafting, shot paintball guns, and climbed through obstacle courses. Counselors watch and manage the fun, the kids partook.
I remember Susie's dirty blonde hair in the sun. She sat on the right side and her skin and hair caught direct sunbeams. My mother drove frantically and never told us anything until we reached the destination. My sister's anxious eyes opened and closed like portals to an understanding I didn't have at the time. She knew something I didn't. I was nervous but she was shaking in a way that only someone who knew the danger would shake.
"Mom," I asked. "Are we going home?" I was given no answer. She just turned the music high and floored it down the backroads. "What's going on, Susie?" I whispered to my sister. The only comfort she could offer me was the promise of everything being okay, and in a way, she was right.
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Two years had passed and we were still hiding from our deranged biological father in the basement. Mr. and Mrs. Dunlap allowed us to inhabit the basement of their winter cabin for as long as we needed. They were my mother's neighbors when she grew up and developed a paternal care for her. I had my suspicions that Mr. Dunlap had venereal desires for my mother. None the less, he was nothing but kind to us. I couldn't blame him for how he felt about my mother, she was quite the beauty. Her bouncy black hair was that of a Golden Age Hollywood starlet. Her smooth pale complexation, full lips, and sultry gaze had all beholders wrapped around her finger.
I take after my mother in more ways than my sister. I inherited the dark hair, pale skin, and dark brown eyes while my sister had straight blonde hair, light freckled skin, and blue eyes. As she got older peeks of red started to show in her hair. My mother was slender and gracious while my sister developed large breasts and a plump behind. At this point I was eighteen and Susie was twenty. I'd noticed Mr. Dunlap lingered around Susie during his biweekly supply drop offs. My mother wasn't the only one receiving a "special" attention.
As one can imagine, in scenarios such as these, nudity becomes and afterthought. This had nothing to do with sex, incest, or love. I'll spoil the ending here and now, we spent five years confined to a basement. The only privacy was the small bathroom with a shower that trickles down lukewarm water. The Dunlaps, God rest their souls, were survivalists. What was previously a storage area dug under the Cabin was finished into a place to hold up in times of danger. The three of us shared a rather small 13 X 14 foot room(not counting the tiny bathroom) and made the best of it.
Two twin sized mattresses were pressed together in the left corner and naturally, that is where we slept. Near infinite variations of canned food were stored in the walls of that self imposed prison. Canned goods I never thought existed: canned cheese, canned canned bread, canned eggs, and canned whole chicken, to name a few. The Dunlaps dropped off fresh food when they could but canned goods was our bread and butter, literally. The preservation process made everything salty so for the sake of our blood pressure, we'd rinse most food under water before eating. We spent five years without sun. The sunbeams that made contact with my sister's skin on the way to the cabin were the last ones she'd feel for a while.
I only learned about the deranged nature of my biological father in bits and pieces when my mother drank or felt generous. I'll never know the full story but the gist I received was, he was abusive to my mother and held us captive. One day she escaped with us and later he was arrested. That was the short version. Over time I learned about the emotional scars he left behind. I was too young to remember being strapped in a car seat driving state to state in terror of my father. One night my mother described it as, "Every shadow I ever saw... I thought it was him and I thought he'd devour me."
We were safe from harm in the confines of the Dunlaps cabin basement. We had to stay in the basement because my father was crafty, resourceful, and ex military. He escaped from federal lockup so we had reason to fear him. The Dunlaps said he'd already questioned them about our whereabouts but they responded with, "we've not heard from Delores in years." The cabin basement was hidden and you'd never find it unless you knew what you were looking for. It wasn't as simple as sliding a rug out of the way. Some nights we heard slow foot steps above. The Dunlaps walked with no caution so only someone with nefarious intent would attempt to shroud their walk. Our mother would pull us close into her shaking arms and place her hands over our mouths.
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"You making ramen, Susie?" I asked, seeing my sister fill a pot with water from the bathroom sink. "Make some for me."
"You know it."
Susie placed the pot of water on the portable plugin hotplate and waited for the water the boil. Our mother was still asleep on the mattress, the hiding seemed to drain all her energy. She slept more than both of us combined some days. "Make some for Mom," I added. Susie wore red panties and an Iron Man camp shirt that her breast had nearly outgrown. Mom slept naked most nights. She held onto modesty for as long as she could be once I was of age and she could no longer take it, the clothes came off. I can close my eyes and still picture her on her side, her breasts peeking out from the blanket and her visible pale calves. I will admit that at this time, I'd not seen another women in two years. That may not seem a long time but as a young man just entering adulthood, it was eternity. I'd missed prom along with seven other school dances. I never snuck out at night to get drunk with Timmy like we promised we would that year. "This year we aren't going to be losers anymore," he promised.
The water in the pot began to boil and Susie ripped open three chicken ramen packs and set them in the water. When we first arrived in this dungeon there was a small table but we had it removed for more living space. Susie was crouched in front of the boiling pot that rested on the floor. She divided the noodles equally into three bowls and mixed the flavor packs inside. The way her thigh pressed into her calf was quite alluring to my horny eighteen year old brain. We kept in surprisingly good shape, given the circumstance. I did pushups, pullups, situps, and all the "up" exercises possible. Susie would jump rope, do squats, mountain climbers, and burpees.
"Mom," I nudged my mother's naked shoulder gently. "Wake up, Mom."
My mothers gorgeous eyes opened up and pulled me in right away. She saw me: her son, and her lips curled into a smile. She sat up and the blanket fell from her naked body. I was accustomed with her nudity enough to not stare snuck quite a few glances at her breasts. "Susie made breakfast." My mother rubbed her eyes and looked at the noodles before her. "Breakfast of champions," my mother said jokingly.
My mother pulled shorts over her lower body and I got a good look at the magic between her legs. She ate breakfast fully topless without regard of me: a man, looking. Maybe she didn't see me as a man at that time. Or maybe she was just fucking tired of being cramped in one room. We talked very little during breakfast and sat in a circle with our knees touching. My mother brushed her teeth and showered and made no attempts of hiding her 'showerly activities.' Susie and I sat side by side on the mattress and giggled while my mother moaned and whimpered. "Everybody does it," Susie said. Our legs touched while we listened to our mother achieve seemingly nonstop orgasms. It was in this moment I realized just how close we were. Our shoulders touched and my sister's hair gently grazed my skin. I hadn't thought much of incest at that point in my life. I knew I found my mother and sister attractive but beyond that, I never explored. In a sudden act of boldness along with the fact that I hadn't jerked off in a while, I put my hand on Susie's thigh and rubbed her from knee to middle thigh. Her head tilted low and her breathing quickened. Had she been so desperate for the touch of a man her own brother's touch caused such a stir in her loins?
"Connor," my sister whispered.
My cock was rock hard from the power I felt I held. I was merely grazing her thigh and dampness had formed on her red panties. Her skin was oh so soft and her whispers and whimpers of protest and submission sent chills through my young body. She took my hand and removed it from her leg and exhaled deeply. The moment she turned her head to me and her eyes met mine she was hooked on the moment. We kissed, it was my first kiss and I later learned that it was her fourth kiss. Her lips sent vibrations and tingles through my spine. In that moment, in that time, we were not being incestuous. In the literal sense, we were, but the desire did not come from her being a blood relative. This was due to hormones, loneliness, isolation, and unchecked desire. Any man locked in a room with any woman will fold to their carnal desires. Before the dungeon, as we called it, we had no desire for one another. This was molded through external forces out of our own control.
Her soft lips danced with mine and our tongues joined the party. Feeling adventurous, I cupped her left breast and she moaned into my mouth. We were primal and raw with spirit. We swapped mouth fluids as we were practically drooling into each other's mouths as if to hydrate the other. I'm not sure why that moment was the time we kissed. I chalk it up to the combination of my mother's moans and the canned foods messing with our heads. Susie was rubbing her legs together and putting the right over the left. I later learned that this was a way she would masturbate without her hands. She learned this skill from the years of no privacy.
The sound of the shower turning off was like a school bell telling us to get to the next class. We pulled away from each other and wiped our mouths as if we left visible traces of ourselves on each other. My sister looked down at my visible erection and reached over my lap to grab the blanket. Her arm rubbed over the head of my penis through my boxers in the process and got a moan out of me. She threw the blanket over my lap and picked up a book as if she'd been reading all this time. My mother exited the bathroom fully naked and unbothered. She had hair under her arms that morning and stubble throughout her body, she must have shaved. Her pussy was bare and smooth and I saw her gentle lips and puffy clitoris. From later experience with my sister I learned that clits get swollen during times of sexual stimulation. My mother's body was as gorgeous as you would have assumed upon looking at her, if not better.
"How are we feeling this morning?" My mother asked with a newfound enthusiasm, the orgasms must have done wonders. "Let's watch all the Lord Of The Rings movies today, those are long and kill time." We agreed to to the plan and commenced with the day of movies. My mother wore robe and nothing else. I was often shirtless because the Iron Man camp shirts were too small for me. Mr. Dunlap gave me some old pants of his but my shoulders are just too stocky to fit his shirts. My mother quoted nearly every line of these movies and swung an imaginary sword around. We kept the lights off and the box TV shone on my mother's sexy legs and illuminated my sister's expression. I saw her chest rise and fall with every breath like a locomotive machine. We stole secretive glances at each other and held hands by the beginning of Return Of The King.
That night, when we were sure our mother was sleep, we turned to face each other. I leaned into kiss her but my sister slid her palm in front of her lips and shook her head. She was topless, which is how she usually slept. We couldn't exactly talk so we communicated another way. My sister pulled out a flashlight, a notepad, and a pencil. She set the flashlight to the lowest setting and tapped the pencil on the notepad. She set them between us and laid the flashlight down above it so the dim light shone across the page. It also illuminated her breasts and I could only focus on the brail like dots around her reddish-pink nipples.
"You're my brother," she wrote.
"And?" I wrote underneath in sloppier handwriting.
"That's the 'I' word," my sister quickly wrote.
"Ur right. Its weird," I wrote and took it all in. My sister, though sexy as hell, laid before me on her side looking stressed and confused. Her eyebrows were scrunched and concerned. What had we done? Something that would seem so innocent and juvenile in the months to come; we kissed. I'd like to say that from that day on we swore off kissing and asked the Dunlaps to bring my sister looser shirts, but we didn't. That night my sister gave me an innocent peck on the cheek and returned to her blankets. Her legs, unknowingly to me at the time, shifted and shuffled with masturbatory motions until she succumbed to deep sleep.
As the weeks relented, our newfound sexual desires only grew. What was once innocent nudity became sights to behold. My sister would exit the shower naked from head to toe. Her wet hair would hang over her large supple breasts. Knowing that she was the object of my desire, she began grooming and treating herself. She trimmed her eyebrows, shaved her legs, and trimmed her pubic hair. She claimed that she wanted a normal sibling relationship through notes shared at night, but made herself prettier for me during the day.
This could have all been my horny teenage brain filtering my sister's actions through my penis. My sister and mother both enjoyed shaving their body and feeling "womanly" as they put it. But it felt as if from that point on she was always put together. Maybe I was only noticing because I was paying more attention to my sister's forbidden body. From my perspective my sister skipped around our confined room topless and bare and her breasts and bottom jiggled just for my enjoyment.
Each night, passing notes was our way of bonding. We wrote of all things that crept their way into our thoughts. Incest was the tip of the iceberg. We did discuss things like our unfulfilled sexual desires and reasons we couldn't kiss. When I wrote, "your soft lips are all I think about," she gave me a satisfied grin. We wrote back and forth of things we'd take to the grave in other circumstances. She wrote about her sparse memories of our father, crushes she had in her youth, and embarrassing stories I won't repeat for her sake. She'd been talking to a boy on Myspace shortly before camp and they planned on losing their virginities to each other. I informed her that "boy" was likely a creepy adult wanting to harvest her organs. Her response to that was, "I was horny and he listened to Brand New."
Tears fell from her eyes and she pressed her head to my chest. Silently I rubbed her naked back and kissed the top of her blonde head. She grabbed the notepad and wrote for a while. Mentally I was incorrectly guessing what secrets she wrote about. I thought maybe she missed her emo dream boy or she was caught in a bad memory. You'd be surprised how hidden memories unearth themselves when you're trapped in a room with only your thoughts.. My sister and I explored them all.
Susie handed me the notepad and there were a few neat handwritten paragraphs. My sister writes neater than most computer fonts. I read every letter intently because each word my sister wrote was important to me. To summarize, the mention of Brand New; her favorite band, went her into a deep sadness. Luckily, Susie's booklet of CDs were in our mother's car so she was not without her emo favorites. We'd been locked in that damn basement for two years and Brand New could have put out new music that she wouldn't be able to hear. Her emo Myspace friends probably forgot all about her and enrolled in college and possibly found their future husbands and wives. Her note to me, while neat, was rambly and all over the place. My sister leaped from topic to topic and somehow the mention of her favorite band spawned the waterfall of cascading emotions.
I finished reading the note and put my large muscular arms around her. She latched her legs around my torso and squeezed me tightly. Somberly she sobbed into my shoulder and neck. She begun to whisper all her dark thoughts and insecurities into my caring ear. She was terrified that we'd never leave that damn dungeon. She thought that one day our father would rip open the hidden entrance and do unspeakable things. I told her in delicate whispers that I love her and I promised that we'd leave there someday. I promised on the off chance our father does locate us, I would kick his ass. I was strong, young, and angry. "I'll ask Mr. Dunlap to keep and eye out for new Brand New music."
In a moment of weakness that would continue on from that day, my sister kissed me on the mouth. It was not a romantic or sexual kiss, it was kiss of affirmation and the bonding of our broken cooped up souls. With my thumb I wiped the tears from her eyes, took her chin, and kissed her again. That night we fell asleep holding hands.
We had a routine that we followed to the letter as a family. Susie always made breakfast, I made lunch, and mom made dinner. We attempted to keep breakfast foods for breakfast but some days Susie made ramen or canned chicken soup. On normal days she'd open the canned eggs and canned sausage. With canned milk and pancake mix she'd make us pancakes. Or she'd boil water and prepare us oatmeal and toast. I had it easy for lunch option. On a normal day I'd boil canned potatoes or cook them in oil on a skillet. Shredded canned chicken with rice and peas was always a hit. On lazy days I'd just pour soup into a pot and heat it up. Our mother would make miracles from nothing. She'd transform the canned goods into something entirely different. With flour, water, and canned ground pork she'd make us delicious soft shell tacos.
"How'd you get so good at turning this mush into gold?" Susie asked my mother.
"Well, isn't that was life is all about, dear?" My mother answered with a question she'd soon answer. "Turning mush into gold."
"Captivity has made you too philosophical, mom," I added.
"Hush, boy, we're not in captivity. I have the key to our release."
Often we'd ask our mother why we couldn't just report our father to the police. Her answer was always the same, "It's already been done." My sister would write and sing songs to herself to pass the time. We played board games, charades, and Jenga. Our mother, despite her tiredness, kept us in good spirits. Every Sunday my mother would open the bible and read a passage and we'd each discuss our own takes on the words. We'd learned more about the bible in our time in the dungeon than the years we spent in church. Our pastor would just read the bible and tell us his interpretation of what it all meant. For the first time we were deciphering the words ourselves and assigning our own meanings to them.
My favorite passage at the time was Ecclesiastes 3: 11: He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
The Dunlaps would stop by with supplies like napkins and toiletries. They'd always bring homecooked meals form their kitchen and pastries for us to nibble on in between visits. As well as sugar, flour, peanut butter, and bread. They'd also stop by with movies for us to watch sometimes. Now our mother, though tired, was not blind. She knew I ogled her breasts and stole looks at her vagina. She saw the growing chemistry between her children. On some nights I'd see her watchful gaze as Susie latched her legs around me and pressed her head on my chest. Long after we left that basement, my mother told me she saw the way Susie looked upon my back muscles and fumbled with her words around me. Later my mother told me, "There was nothing I could do. We were adults with needs. It'd be crazier if we didn't all end up having sex."
I was the lone man cornered by two beautiful women that cared little for modesty. At every look there were familiar breasts. I'd often see my naked sister bent over and get lost in her pussy and open asshole. My mother once stood in front of me without thinking and my mouth was inches from her labia. My mother and sister simply averted their eyes when the lights were low and I handled my male urges alone. At one point I would sneak away and handle myself in the bathroom shamefully. By then I was jerking off right next to my sister nightly. On one of those nights, she held my hand while I pleasured myself. Such a small insignificant act but it was everything to me.
I'd gently squeeze her hand as my climax approached. With closed eyes, her soft hand took me to a place beyond the basement. I'd been so deprived of all things humans crave that hand holding might as well have been unprotected sex.
One night she turned on her side and looked at me. Her large naked breasts were difficult to see in the dark. She turned on the flashlight we used to read notes but there was notepad this time. My sister turned it on for the purpose of showing off her phenomenal rack. I turned to face her and examined the beauty before me. She pressed her arms against her breasts to perk them up for me. But I took everything in: her sexy jawline, her big lips, her small nose, and her blue eyes. She begun blushing when she saw my eyes explore more than her breasts. I jerked my cock at a medium rhythm, wanting to extend this moment as long as humanly possible. Why couldn't every moment in the dungeon have been like this?
Slowly I inched forward, not wanting to ruin the beautiful moment. I remember visibly seeing my sister's guard drop like a hole forming in the atmosphere. She allowed me to kiss her, I mean really kiss her. I felt between her legs and my fingers fumbled around her labia. My fingers eventually found their way inside of her virgin pussy. I was no good at fingering women but she was so touch starved that it didn't matter. A hand that wasn't hers was exploring uncharted parts of her body. I looked her in the eyes and her gasping mouth formed and O shape. The inside of my sister's pussy felt soft, fleshy, and wet. I noticed she was rubbing her clit with her hand so I pushed it out of the way and took over the rubbing. Her clit was swollen and puffy with excitement. That bundle of over 10,000 nerves was coaxing whimpers and moans from my deprived sister.
I thrusted two fingers in and out of my sister's wet pussy and she latched her legs around mine. "Connor" she whispered into my ear. "I feel so alive. I feel so alive." She gasped and her eyes went wider than I'd ever seen before. She let out a loud moan that I'm sure our mother heard, to this day she's not mentioned it. To my surprise, our mother didn't even flinch. She slept soundly or mimicked the act of sleeping to a T. A series of loud moans followed, along with the sound of my sister's wet pussy as she came on my fingers. She pressed her lips into mine as if she wanted to eat me alive. She opened her mouth and licked my lips and the inside of my mouth while my fingers still danced inside her sopping wet pussy.
She pulled back with a carnal bedroom eyes. She scooted down and took my manhood fully in her mouth like she'd done it before. I knew she was a virgin from the notes we shared but that first blowjob I received was like a gift from God. I knew incest was sinful but something as pleasing as my sister's wet slobbery mouth on my cock had to be holy, it just had to. Thinking back on it, my sister's oral skills at the time were rather sloppy and amateurish. I was just excited to have something wet and warm around my dick. Susie made no effort to muffle her sounds. If my mother were awake she'd have been clearly able to hear her daughter gagging on her son's cock. The slurping and sucking sounds were all I could hear. Her head bobbed up and down over my groin and I almost couldn't believe this was happening.
Looking down and seeing my sister, the girl I grew up with, and eventually had kids with sucking my cock disturbed me. It was short lived, all but five seconds. For those five seconds I felt evil, gross, vile, and unholy. The girl who used to change my sheets in the night when I pissed the bed because I was too shy to tell mom was doing THIS. I quickly succumbed to the pleasure and let the taboo of incest wash over my whole being. What as was once "ew my sister" became "fuck it's so wrong but that is precisely why it's great." I grabbed the flashlight and shone it on my sister. The freckles on her forehead revealed themselves in a different way. Her blue eyes looked up at me with pure love. Saliva was constantly pooling out of her mouth and over my dick and her tongue flattened and pressed on the underside of my cock. My hard manhood disappeared inside her mouth all the way on every downward bob.
"Fuck!" I moaned and squeezed the blanket.
I unloaded all I had into my sister's welcoming mouth. She never pulled back, she didn't want to a miss a single damn drop. I felt all my pent up desire flow safely down my sister's throat. When I was spent I softened inside her mouth but she kept licking and sucking as if she were sad it had ended.
She returned from the bathroom and laid down next to me with fresh minty breath. On the notepad she wrote, "We can't go back now."
'm no good at keeping secrets. I'm even worse at hiding how I feel about someone. My innocent boyhood crushes were always discovered. I guess I've always just led with my heart and did what felt the most me. When I first kissed my sister, Susie, that was what my heart was singing at the time. When we took each other's virginities and swore we'd complete each other forever, that was me, that was us.
I opened my eyes to the bright row of downlights packed with light bulbs advertised to last five years. We put their claim to the test during our time in the dungeon, they lied. I reached over, feeling for my sister but her space was empty, just crumbled-up blankets. My mother was sleeping, naked as usual, but this time her blanket rode up and her legs were open. In its full glory, I saw my mother's pussy. I'd seen her naked countless times and became accustomed to it. But her pussy which I would one day taste and penetrate was normally covered by hair. She had recently shaved and this was the first time I had a true long look.
My mother's right pussy lip is larger than the left. Susie's pussy has a bright pink hue about it, my mother's pussy is darker than the skin she displays publicly. My mother was sound asleep. For an unknown amount of time, I gazed longingly at the place where I was born from. I admired each fold and adored every lovely dark strand of hair that sprouted sporadically on her groin. Her face drew my attention like a moth to a flame. Now I'm not sure if this is right, justifiable, or proper practice, but it happened. I scooted my body forward and planted a soft subtle kiss on my sleeping mother's lips. Years later I confessed to my moment of weakness and she claims to have no memory of it. I swear when I returned to my side of the mattress a smile was on her face. The same smile she wore when I was young and cut red paper into hearts and gave them to her.
"Ahem," my sister fake coughed and startled me. She's held a loaf of bread in one hand and three cans under the other arm. "I give you your first blowjob last night and you're already checking mom out and kissing. Tsk tsk."
"It's not like that, Susie," I defended honestly. "I'm just so damn cooped up ya know? And don't talk about this out loud."
"It's fine, Connor, she's asleep. If she didn't hear us last night she's not hearing us now."
I sat up and took a good guilt-free look at my sister. I looked at her pale freckled legs and her white and yellow drawstring shorts. The night before I'd been inside her and saw everything and it was all for me. Mr. Dunlap was due to visit that day so she wore a shirt. I felt as if my new experience granted me X-ray vision through my sister's shorts. Though her body was covered I could see her puffy labia through my mind's eye. I could make out her excited clitoris and mound. Susie smiled at me and started preparing the sausage and eggs.
We had a typical morning with a splash of secretive incest. I brushed my teeth and my sister kissed me in the bathroom before Mom woke up. I picked her up and put her against the sink and her back pressed into the mirror. All my attempts at bringing up what we were doing were shut down. Today, was a grown man with life experience under my belt, I know exactly what she was doing. She was behaving how women behave when they like you but are too afraid to risk change. When they just want to let their bodies do the talking and shut up for a while. Eighteen-year-old me with no prior experience with the opposite sex kept pressing the issue. Oh to be young and ignorant again. Legally I was a man, old enough to fight for my country but too young to have a drink. In those five years of hiding, I felt suspended in time. I left that basement the same age I came in.
The passage of time could only be gauged by Mr. Dunlap's clothing. If he wore boots and knitted hats, it was safe to assume it was winter. When he dropped off supplies in cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirts that only old men seemed to wear, it was summer or spring. My mother mentally kept up with the date but refused to hang a calendar. She thought seeing the lost days would depress us. Much later, after all of this blew over I saw handwritten calendars Susie made in secret.
Susie and I couldn't wait for our mother to shower or fall asleep. The moment she entered the bathroom, towel in hand, we pounced on each other like animals. You'd think we'd have explored each other in all ways possible, but we didn't. We were scared, inexperienced, and unsocialized young adults. Those conditions do things to your mind and how you grow. I'd essentially gone through my peaks of puberty crammed in a room with only my sister and mother. I don't feel bad for the things I did anymore, not at all. Sex is one of base needs all humans share. It's up there with food and shelter. And it's not just sex, it's the need to feel admired and seen. My biggest takeaway from our time in captivity was that we fulfilled each other. In a time when she was young and beautiful and needed men fawning over her, I was the man. When I was young and full of testosterone and needed the thrill of the hunt, she was there. She teased me and made me earn her mouth. I say 'mouth' because of the five years we spent there, we had sex all of three times.
I was coming of age; both of us were. We were experiencing all our firsts together. In a way, all our firsts being shared added an element of safety. Instead of all these individual firsts being with different women, they were all with my sister. Some nights when our mother fell asleep, we got drunk on wine together. Mr. Dunlap left a pack of cigarettes he meant for himself in our bag of supplies. When Mom slept, Susie and I smoked the whole pack in the bathroom together. Naked in the cramped bathroom, we took drags and kissed. We blew smoke in each other's faces and gave each other orgasms until we collapsed on the mattress. I fell asleep nearly every night in my sister's naked embrace. The notes we passed each other became sweet nothings and declarations of love. I have them all safely locked away to this day. I read them to remember the time I was most loved. My love for darling Susie was the purest love I've ever experienced. There were no preconceptions of how love should be or outside influence. It was just the two of us in a room loving each other in the way that felt the most natural.
In time, the quality of our supplies began to increase. Susie was suspicious because Mr. Dunlap visited more and more often. Biweekly became weekly and weekly became every few days. Quite a few times he walked in on my sister or my mother in a compromising position. It was as if he wanted to catch forbidden glimpses of my naked family. Mr. Dunlap stopped by with donuts, rotisserie chickens, fresh produce and meat, salty snacks, and luxury supplies. He bought clothes for us and even acquired a used toaster oven. Our mother put that toaster oven to good use. A toaster oven is essentially just a small oven. She baked cakes, roasted chicken and potatoes, and even made pizza quite a few times. Not always with canned tomatoes, when Mr. Dunlap stopped by with fresh tomatoes on the fine, we were in for a treat.
Mr. Dunlap would have secretive quiet conversations with our mother in the bathroom. Maybe it was our young innocent minds not wanting to see our mother in that way, or maybe we were too inexperienced in how the world worked. In time we learned that our mother was paying for the extra care in the only currency she had: her body.
"What do you think they do in the bathroom?" Susie wrote on the notepad.
"I'm not sure," I wrote back.
"He's being really nice."
"He's always nice. He lets us live here for free."
"It's different this time."
That night my sister swung her legs over top of me and mashed her mouth against mine. I squeezed her breasts and she crammed her tongue deep inside my mouth. The experimental young fun of the time had its charm. Her clunky tongue amateurishly attacking the inside of my mouth was endearing and new. I'd seen in film where someone was designated as a "bad kisser" but I had no one else to compare. My sister kissed some boys before me but I'm sure they were all just as lousy. The youthful ignorance of discovering what felt good with each other is a purity I miss. We did everything and checked if it felt good. I licked my sister's elbows, behind her knees, her lower back, and her belly button. No part of her was off limits or unkissable.
That night she crawled over my chest and placed her pussy on my face and above my lips. I inhaled and took in the scent of my sister's. The very human musk of the female vagina is intoxicating, to say the least. I would get drunk off my sister's wet pussy. I lapped from it, drank from it, and lived for it. I supported her ass with my hands so she wouldn't have to hover over me. With a firm grip on her plump ass, I tasted my sister's pussy like it was a brand-new flavor. I went at it with no technique or skill, just heart, and curiosity. I lapped at her wet lips and stuck fingers inside of her. I planted hard kisses on the pink set of vertical lips before me. When she gasped and leaned back, her asshole was ripe for the touching. I grazed it with the tip of my tongue. With both her hands planted on the mattress for support behind her, she raised an eyebrow at me. I gave her asshole another tentative lick, that time the wetness from her pussy had leaked down to her ass. Her blue eyes widened in the darkness and she gave me the sexiest little satisfied smirk. The kind of smirk she gave when she liked something but didn't want people to know the extent of her fondness. I licked her asshole more vigorously and like a leaky pipe the fluids from her pussy drizzled down onto my tongue. She flipped her hair back and gyrated her.
Is it pathetic that after all this time I can still close my eyes and vividly see my Susie: my dear sister? I see her face every day in the children she birthed from my seed. Susie's beautiful blonde hair and light freckles I saw stories and constellations in them. I'd spend nights shining a flashlight on her naked back and examine and kiss every inch of her from shoulder to feet. Every kiss was met with a quiet playful giggle. She accepted my hard cock into her mouth at every opportunity. Her wet tongue would lap at my manhood. She developed a technique where she'd hold the base with her hand and only put the very head in her mouth. She'd slip and suck on the head of my dick and repeatedly bounce her tongue off the tip of my frenulum as orgasm approached.
With care and love, often my sister would hold my hand as she orally pleased me. Her soft warm hand in mine while she delivered me straight to heaven with her tongue. In time, she perfected everything: the speed and rhythm, the deep throating, and the perfect amount of saliva involved. She would drown my cock in her saliva nightly.
Our mother was not dumb. I'd catch her ever-watchful eyes putting things together and coming to terms with it all. Much later she told me, "You guys were young and falling in love. Sure, it was incest but love is still love. The way Susanne looked at you. It was meant to be." Our mother saw the handholding and said nothing. She saw Susie baking special pies and cakes just for me and let it go. She's never admitted to it, but I believe she was jealous. My mother never had time for young love like ours. She had Susie when she was nineteen and devoted her life to being our mother. She lost her own identity along the way. Our father was fifteen years her senior and had our sweet mother under a spell. It took the birth of Susie for her to find the strength to leave. From what I have gleaned about my father, he has the personality of a cult leader, the slick words of a pimp, and the militarized danger of a trained marine. He had a harem of women around him in his prime. I'm not sure whether our mother was his favorite or if she was the only one to stand up to him. Whether he was obsessed with her out of love or desire to tame women, it matters not.
My mother doesn't often talk about her feelings. She plays things close to the chest and I don't blame her for it. But I believe that her witnessing a young love that spawned from her womb gave my mother a second wind. We all left that basement changed.
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We'd been like Sea Word animals; locked in captivity for three years at this point. Mr. Dunlap would so often with gifts galore. Along with the treats and necessities, he would drop off backless black dresses for my mother. He gave my sister lowcut dresses and high heels to wear. My sister never wore them for him but my mother wore the sexy getups when Mr. Dunlap visited. The reasons for his visits became obvious to us in time. The way they'd hold hands and stole away to the bathroom together. The low moaning that sounded off made me sick to my stomach. I had nothing against Mr. Dunlap and clearly my mother was benefitting from this in a way beyond the material. My mother, at that point, didn't have me. Susie and I were attached at the hip. We danced and sang together as young lovers do while my mother looked upon us in envious admiration for what we found. I already had Susie but I was sick with jealousy,, I wanted Mom.
Mr. Dunlap's physical affections kept my mother alive. His infidelity and her being the 'other woman' was her forbidden taboo she embarked on. It was her taste of being relevant to the outside world. She was fucking someone's husband just to feel something, anything at all. He usually came in the night like a thief and claimed my mother's body. I hardly ever saw anything more than hand holding and gentle backrubs. I'd became familiar with the orgasmic moans of my mother. The messy hair and disrupted shirt she wore as she left the bathroom were signs. The condoms crammed into the bottom of our trash were more evidence.
"How does this make you feel?" Susie wrote on the notepad. Heavy breaths, whimpers, moans, and wet slapping noises rang out from the bathroom. My sister's eyes shot uneasy glances at the bathroom door.
"Honestly?" I wrote.
"We'll always be honest with each other, right?"
"Right."
"So...."
"Kind of jealous."
My sister looked at my sympathetically. She wore the same look on Christmas morning, 2001. I had opened all my gifts but Silent Hill 2: the one I really wanted, was not there. I thanked our mother with a smile but Susie could see in the space behind my eyes that I was let down. Back then she hugged me and said, "Merry Christmas." On the mattress while our mother was getting railed in the bathroom, she placed her hand over my cock through my shorts. I was worried that Mr. Dunlap and Mom could emerge at any moment. I thought surely he'd kick us incestuous freaks out. Susie, with her eyes glued on the door rubbed my soft cock into hardness like pressing Play-doh. My erection came alive in her hand like a blooming time-lapse of a flower from one of those nature DVDs we watch to simulate the outdoors.
Without breaking her gaze on the door, my sister leaned over to me and whispered, "Does this take your mind off of that?" I nodded with head with my eyes focused on the doorknob, checking for the slightest turn. Her fingers found their way under my shorts and she stroked my cock rather aggressively. We weren't blessed with the opportunity to savor the moment. Her fast hand was demanding orgasm from me. "Dan!" My mother moaned through the door. "You're gonna make me cum!" My sister's pace quickened and she bit her lip and focused on the door. Her face was flushed red.
The doorknob turned half a centimeter so we flattened out and retreated under the covers. My sister's hand didn't leave my cock even when our mother and Mr. Dunlap excited the bathroom. To the unaware and unsuspecting viewer, all we looked like were two siblings that fell asleep cuddling. Albeit, we may have been too old to cuddle in this way. I think they were too wrapped up in each other to notice. I could have had Susie bent over, naked, and screaming, and they would have paid us no mind. I don't blame Mr. Dunlap, our mother was a beauty in the classical sense. Every time I see an old statue of an elegant noblewoman I see my mother. I see my mother in the classic paintings of beautiful women. My mother had an almost fictional beauty about her that caught all off guard. "Not here, Dan," she said. "My kids could wake up." My sister's soft warm hands pumped my cock back and forth under the blankets to the sound of them kissing.
"Oh, Delores, sweet Delores," Mr. Dunlap said. "I've dreamt of this, even when you were young. I wanted to save you from that monster."
"That's what you're doing right now. You're saving us and I can't thank you enough."
"I hope Susie enjoys the CDs I've brought. I brought some bigger shirts to fit over Connor's shoulders. That boy is bigger every time I see him."
Knowing I was about to cum. I pulled my shorts over my dick and sister's hand, shot my load into the fabric, and contained my full body shakes. My sister kept relentlessly stroking me off at the same pace. On every upstroke my sister's hand made contact with my sticky cum attached to the inside of my shorts. I remember this detail because when all was said and done, my sister licked her hand clean of my cum. She'd swallowed my cum before but the sight of her naughty private moment of her tongue clearing my cum from her skin excited me to no end.
Days went on and our mother's spirit seemed lighter than air. Some days she woke up before Susie and put on breakfast. Those familiar hums from my childhood had returned. I grew up in a small house with only one floor. When I would awake my mother humming a Rolling Stones song and the smell of cooking oils, I would leap from bed and rush to the kitchen. She'd always send me back to shower and brush my teeth before breakfast. One morning I woke up and heard the hums and saw my mother's swaying hips. For a few blessed moments, I thought all of this had been a dream. I thought we hadn't lost three years of our lives in this damn dungeon. I thought that, just maybe, I was still in high school. The concrete bricks of reality landed on me hard when my eyes cleared and I saw that my mother was bottomless. My penis was happy to see my mother's naked ass sway side to side but that never happened at home. I looked over and saw Susie smiling at me. Mom was facing away from us so she snuck a taboo kiss from me. Kisses I treasure and miss dearly to this day; my darling dearest Susanne.
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Our mother was washing our clothes in the shower while Susie sat next to me on the mattress. Her soft soft hands held the book: As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner.
She read a lot of books from southern Gothic authors in our time there. Susie was never much of reader before the dungeon. She had a thriving social life and seemed to be head of every club that existed in high school. Captivity changes all creatures and forces a new kind of evolution within us. Years ago, when I was in elementary school, our mother took us to the zoo. I don't know what motivated this choice. We were dressed and ready to take the bus to school but in the last minute she changed the plan. She called in sick to work while me and Susie giggled at her fake stuffy nose and dramatic coughs. I remember our mother holding both of our hands with every step as if we'd run away the moment she let go. Susie complained that herpetarium smelled awful. She adored seeing the birds even if it made her sad. "They can fly but the big dumb net keeps them in," she said. I loved all things that roared but to my surprise, none of the zoo beasts roared. Lions and bears sat docile; mere shells of themselves. I mention all of this because I looked into the eyes of a captive tiger. I saw the power in it's body and the pride it once carried. I understood how that tiger felt. What is a captive nineteen-year-old boy in the prime of his life if not a caged tiger?
My mother looked rather sad and lonely at the zoo. Now with my own kids, I've learned how they have the innate gift to comfort adults in times of need. I didn't know what my mother was going through and my child brain had little understandings of hardships. I just knew I needed to love up on her. I hugged her close and asked her to carry me on her shoulders. I suppose that was truly the root of my jealousy. I wanted to be the reason my mother woke up early. I wanted to be the reason she smiled.
Mr. Dunlap left and my mother curled up in bed and fell asleep in second. I'm not sure if Mr. Dunlap's bedroom skills were that good or if my mother was desperate for anything. Normally, she'd stir and turn before sleeping. But on her nights of being the other woman, she was out like a light upon contact with the pillow. On nights like these we didn't have to worry about waking her. Right as our mother's eyes closed Susie turned over and kissed me.
"Connor," she whispered for my attention. "I don't get to say this out loud often. But I love you. I want you to know that. I think I've always loved you."
"I'd hope you always loved me," I replied jokingly. "You're my big sister after all."
"Shut up, you know what I mean. I just... I know this situation is less than ideal. But I'm glad I have you. And I just... I hope when this is all over that we can still be like this."
Susie had never defined what exactly "this" was. Any time I'd try to talk about it, she'd change the subject. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it" "Go with the flow, Connor" "We're two people that kiss each other"
"What is 'this' then?" I asked cautiously. I regretted it immediately. Why did I have to ruin moments with my need for labels?
"I don't know, Connor," she answers and kisses me on the chin. "I've never had this before. I don't know the steps."
"I love you, Susie, that is the only step I know. Fuck the steps. You're the woman I love and lets just go with that, okay?"
"You mean that?"
"Of course. Unless you've secretly been in contact with more Brand New fans off of Myspace."
Susie lightly punched my shoulder and smiled. She looked over at our passed out mother. Even in her sleep she wore a pleased sexed-up grin. My sister looked back at me and kissed me lips softly and pouted.
"What about Mom," Susie asked carefully. "Where does she fit into this?"
"Mom is not part of this," I answer. "Seems like Mr. Dunlap fits into mom just right."
"You said you were jealous and I understood, I get jealous too."
"You're jealous of Mr. Dunlap?"
"He gets to go outside and come here whenever he wants and fuck a beautiful woman."
"Ain't that the life."
"I see how you look at her. You kissed her. Do you love her?"
"Of course I love her, she's my Mom."
"You know what I mean."
"I am a man with needs cooped up with two beautiful women that are naked half the time. If you are asking if I would like to sleep with Mom, the answer is yes. But I don't feel it with her."
I'm not going to pretend like I have been a saint with women in the years beyond this conversation. I've told lies for pussy. I've said "I love you" when I didn't mean it. I've told girls I didn't find other girls attractive when I did. I was telling the truth with Susie and I always did. Our mother was beautiful, divine, and enchanting. Yet, I only loved Susie. My current wife only receives a fraction of the love Susie received from me. That is not to say I don't adore Ariel. I'll never be as bright-eyed and pure as I was at eighteen. My love with my sister was pure and unchecked. We leaned on each other in more ways than most couples do.
"I've got a surprise for you, lover boy whom I love," Susie said and walked into the bathroom. I leaned against the wall with my hands behind my head and soon saw my sister's hand waving me into the bathroom. I walked through the darkness and approached the door. The door slowly swung open and my sister stood before me looking stunning. She wore a lowcut red dress that barely contained her breasts. She must have took the fabric in secretly because it fits too well. That or Mr. Dunlap knew my sister's body with a suspicious accuracy. It hugged her curves perfectly and she stood taller than normal. My eyes trailed down her legs and found the matching red high heels on her feet. I'd not seen my sister look so put together in quite some time. We'd spent years wearing shorts with holes and unfit Iron Man camp shirts. "I feel underdressed," I said and she pulled me by my shirt and into her embrace. My sister's lips pressed into mine like a perfect matching set. She latched her legs around me and I held her against me by her ass. With my foot I closed the door behind us and pressed her against the wall.
Her wet tongue was exploring the inside of my mouth and she lapped and flicked along it the same way she does to my dick. I was grinding my erection into her pussy through a thin veil of fabric. Susie looked down at my excitement, looked me in the eyes, and bit her lip. I knew exactly what she wanted. I don't know why I held off for so long. I was worried if we took it all the way then we'd never go back. But we'd already gone so far. We were writing each other's names on our skin in pen where our mother wouldn't see. Only we would see when we were naked and vulnerable. Wordlessly, Susie's eyes pleaded and begged.
"We can't," I broke the silence.
"What's stopping us?" Susie retorted.
"We don't have protection."
"So pull out."
"Didn't you pass health class? That shit doesn't work."
"Connor..."
Susie pulled my erection from her pants and tapped my dick against her bare pussy. I couldn't see because the dress was covering it but I felt her tease the entrance with my head. She would never force anything upon me. She respected my wishes waited until I gave consent.
"I'd be the happiest girl in the world if you put it inside me for a second."
"A second isn't worth it."
"You're right, should be ten seconds."
"You'll count?"
"I'll count."
Looking back, the way my sister talked me into all of this was all too smooth. Though I was already hard and scrapping at the door of losing my virginity. I didn't need much convincing. I gave my sister a long kiss and she wrapped her arms around my back. I let my pants fall to the ground and kicked them near the shower. With a deep inhale I pushed onward into more uncharted parts of my sister. The first thing that surprised me was how warm my sister's pussy felt as it enveloped my manhood. It was reminiscent of standing in a hot tub. Her tight wet moist walls took me in like it was all meant to be. We fit together like those heart necklaces boys give to girls in 80s teen romance films. My sister moaned into my shoulder and squeezed me tight. Once I was all the way inside, she began counting down. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3...2...1." She looked at me, waiting for me to pull out. But I just couldn't. Her lips formed a slick half grin like she knew she'd have me.
"Susie," I whispered and thrusted back and forth. "We're being bad."
"We're not bad, Connor," she affirmed. "This is beautiful, this is love, darling."
"I fucking love you."
"I fucking love you more."
I pulled in and out of my sister and held her against the wall like a machine. Her pussy was the softest place on earth. So wet and tight and just for me. Fluids were dripping out of her pussy and onto the floor beneath her with every thrust. I'm sure her dress was wet and soaked in that area. I pressed my forehead into my sister's and kissed her and we licked each other's tongues. Everywhere on my sister was kissable and lovely to me. I kissed her collarbone and under her ear. Like a piston I pumped in and out of her and her pussy seemed to only squeeze tighter and tighter on every thrust. She whimpered and moaned and let out sounds I'd never heard before. These sounds were more guttural and unhinged.
"Susie," I said, out of breath. "I'm almost there." She just looked at me as if the words meant nothing. She continued to sway her hips along with my thrusts. She pressed her warm head into my chest and latched her legs tighter around my waist
"Susie, fuck."
"It's okay. Just cum"
"I can't."
"Yes you can. It's easy. I've made you do it a bunch of times."
"What if..." I slowed my pace and looked at her. Still inside her I asked, "We don't have protection."
"Connor," Susie said, taking my chin in her hand. "I don't want a baby right now. But I would some day and if I do get that from you. That'd be the greatest thing to come from this damn dungeon."
"If I knock you up. We're getting out of here. Even if I have to hunt down our father myself."
"If that's what it takes to get out of here then you should have gotten me pregnant years ago."
"Just this once, okay? We've got to find protection later."
"Just this once."
My sister pulled me as close as possible and that was all it took for me to cum. I will admit that the thought of impregnating my sister in that moment excited me to no end. The idea of a part of me becoming a part of her and creating a life felt raw and satisfied a primal urge. I unloaded sticky cum in the depths of my dear Susanne and my legs went weak. We slid down to the floor, still interlocked at the groin, and I unloaded more inside of her while she laid back on the bathroom floor. Her watery eyes were focused on mine as I thrusted all I had inside of her. I collapsed on top of her and she gently patted my back. "You're still inside me, Connor," she said, contracting her pussy and coaxing more pleasure. "Can't you feel it, love?"
The morning after went as normal as it could have gone, to a point. Susie made breakfast and while I made lunch, Mom washed clothes in the shower. "Connor and Susie," she called. "Come here." I left the hotplate and walked to the bathroom. Our mother stood in the doorway holding Susie's lowcut red dress like evidence. "Care to explain?" We shrugged out shoulders and then she turned the dress around and revealed the big wet spot and dried cum. Susie's freckled face went bright red and I looked down at my feet.
"Children," our mother said in a comforting tone. "I don't ask questions. I don't judge. I know that you guys are... closer than normal. I don't blame you. We're all going stir crazy."
"We're not crazy!" Susie said, offended. "We're in love."
"Whatever you guys are is your business. But what is my business is this. I'll speak bluntly so we don't have to talk about this awkward topic again. Do not cum inside your sister. We don't need to be raising a child in this basement. The Dunlaps would not appreciate that."
"Understood," I said, embarrassed. Susie's arms were crossed with rage. I suppose she was upset that our Mother got passionate sex with Mr. Dunlap: a married man, while critiquing us.
"I'm not judging you guys," our mother explained. "I am curious but it's clear this is a personal matter. Now, I must ask, did you cum on the dress or did you cum inside her and it spilled onto the dress?"
"Inside her," I answered too quietly.
"Speak up, Connor," she said. "This is important."
"I came inside of Susie."
"I thought so."
Our mother dug into her bag by the mattress and pulled out a pill. She placed it in Susie's hand and instructed her to swallow it. While we'd never seen the morning after pill, given the situation, we deduced what it was. Susie clenched her first around the pill and looked into our mother's eyes. "Do you take these pills after you fuck Mr. Dunlap?" Oury mother gasped and Susie swallowed the pill.
"You know about that?" Our mother asked. "Is it that obvious?"
"It's pretty obvious, Mom," I answered.
"Two adults going into the bathroom together and leaving all messy, hmm," Susie said. "Mom, he's married."
"And he's your brother," our mother retorted. "We all do what we need."
"How long?" My sister asked.
"How long is what? His penis?"
"Gross, no. When did this start?"
Our mother sat down in the doorway and we sat down as well. We gave her all the time she needed to collect herself. My sister felt bad for her tone and rubbed our mother's shoulder. Our mother lovingly tapped Susie's fingers. "He was my neighbor growing up," our mother started. "When I caught my prom date screwing Sheryl Thompson, Dan: Mr. Dunlap, he drove me home. I was eighteen at the time so nothing was... illegal. I gave him oral sex in the car."