The review eventually came to an end.
The final image faded, and the darkness around me slowly dissolved.
Then I realized I was standing on the other side of the river.
I had never seen anything like it.
Before me stretched the most beautiful garden my eyes had ever witnessed.
The entire landscape was carpeted with grass so vivid, so impossibly green and clear that no earthly description could do it justice. Beyond the grass stood groves of enormous trees, luxuriant and magnificent, their leaves appearing to be made from the same flawless substance that seemed to constitute everything around me.
Nothing decayed.
Nothing withered.
Nothing faded.
There was no dust.
No dirt.
No rot.
No ageing.
Everything appeared eternally new.
And then I realized something else.
Time no longer mattered.
On earth, we measured our existence by days, market days, seasons, years and generations. We worried about how much time we had left and mourned how much had already passed.
Here, time had no authority.
The span of a human life was nothing more than a grain of sand resting on the shore of Otammiri.
And suddenly, without anyone telling me, I understood something that shook me to my very foundation.
This was home.
Not the forest.
Not Umuofia.
Not the villages where I had been rejected.
Not even the hut where I had lived for so long.
This.
This was where I belonged.
Back in the land of the living, I had always been a visitor.
A misfit.
An outcast.
A stranger desperately searching for somewhere to belong.
But here, for the first time, I felt completely at home.
Then I heard music.
It was coming from somewhere beyond the first line of trees.
I walked toward it.
The music was unlike anything I had ever heard in the land of the living. There were no drums that I could identify, no flutes, no voices that could be separated from one another.
It was simply beautiful.
It seemed to come from everywhere at once.
Beyond the trees, I saw people dancing.
They moved with such ease that their bodies appeared almost weightless.
Four of them noticed me.
They immediately stopped dancing and began walking toward me.
Two were men.
Two were women.
They were dressed in the most magnificent clothing I had ever seen. Their garments seemed to glow without producing light, and their movements were so graceful that I could hardly believe I was looking at human beings.
As they drew closer, recognition struck me.
My heart almost stopped.
My grandfather.
My mother.
My grandmother.
And the leader of my former robbery gang.
But they were not as I remembered them.
My grandfather had been old and sick the last time I saw him.
Here, he looked younger than I was.
My mother looked beautiful and full of life.
My grandmother was no longer the frail old woman I remembered.
Even the gang leader appeared completely different.
They were all in their prime.
Young.
Healthy.
Radiant.
My grandfather smiled.
"Welcome to the land of the dead."
His voice was warm.
"You are not the first to make this journey. We all once lived in the land of the living before coming here."
I looked around.
Everything was so perfect.
He seemed to understand what I was thinking.
"Everything here is pure," he continued. "Nothing mixes, breaks down or decays as it does in the world you came from."
He touched one of the trees.
"That is why nothing becomes dirty. Nothing wears out. Nothing loses its beauty."
He looked toward the distant landscape.
"From here, we watch over those who are still living."
"Watch over them?"
"Yes."
"We guide where we can. We protect when permitted. We help ensure that the will of the gods is carried out."
He smiled.
"Down there, you call it destiny."
His voice began fading.
Or perhaps I was simply no longer paying attention.
My mind had already wandered somewhere else.
Nnanna.
I had to find him.
I needed to apologize.
I needed to kneel before him.
I needed to tell him how sorry I was.
My grandfather suddenly spoke again.
"You are late."
I looked at him.
"Late?"
"He is no longer here."
My heart sank.
"Where is he?"
"He has gone back."
"Back where?"
"To the land of the living."
I stared at him in confusion.
"Why?"
"We all return eventually."
"Return?"
"To continue learning."
He smiled.
"And to reap the rewards—or consequences—of the life we previously lived."
I was stunned.
Then another thought struck me.
He knew what I was thinking.
I looked at him.
"You can hear my thoughts?"
He laughed softly.
"Nothing is hidden here."
I swallowed.
"Then please tell me…"
I hesitated.
"Can I still ask Nnanna for forgiveness?"
My grandfather smiled.
"You can."
"How?"
"Who do you think Ego is carrying?"
I froze.
My mother stepped forward.
She had been smiling quietly throughout the conversation.
"Son," she said gently, "it is not yet your time to remain here."
I stared at her.
"You don't possess enough knowledge to stay."
She placed a hand on my shoulder.
"You must return."
"Return?"
"Yes."
"You must continue learning."
I wanted to protest.
I wanted to ask her what would happen to me.
But before I could speak, everything began changing.
The beautiful garden disappeared.
The music faded.
The people vanished.
The ground beneath my feet dissolved.
And suddenly—
I recognized the place.
The evil forest.
The shallow grave.
I was lying inside the very grave where I had found Ego.
The same place where I had murdered Nnanna.
But I was no longer alone.
Someone stood over me.
I looked up.
My blood turned cold.
Nnanna.
He was holding the same gun I had seen beside him that terrible day.
He raised it above his head.
His eyes were wild.
His face was filled with rage.
I began screaming.
"Please!"
I tried to crawl away.
"Please forgive me!"
He raised the gun higher.
"I didn't mean to kill you!"
"Please!"
"I am sorry!"
"I have changed!"
"I will never do anything like that again!"
He didn't move.
I begged.
I cried.
I promised anything I could think of.
For a while, he remained completely still.
Then, slowly, the gun began coming down.
I shut my eyes.
But the blow never came.
When I opened them, his face was inches from mine.
His eyes stared directly into my soul.
And then he whispered:
"I'm coming for you."
I screamed.
The world disappeared.
Something grabbed me.
I was pulled backward through a darkness so deep that it seemed to have no beginning or end.
Then the pain began.
It was worse than anything I had experienced before.
I could see people.
Hundreds of them.
Perhaps thousands.
People from my past.
People I had hurt.
People who had hurt me.
People who had insulted me.
People who had rejected me.
People whose words had wounded me.
They surrounded me.
They laughed.
They screamed.
They called me names.
They cursed me.
I begged them to stop.
"Please!"
"Let me go!"
"I don't want to be here!"
"I want to go back!"
But the more I pleaded, the louder they became.
Their laughter grew into a terrible roar.
Their voices merged into one unbearable sound.
I covered my ears.
It made no difference.
Then I saw someone emerge from the crowd.
My father.
He looked pale.
His clothes were torn and filthy.
He looked nothing like the proud man I remembered.
He laughed with the others.
I fell to my knees.
"Father!"
He ignored me.
Then he spoke.
"I told you to take over the family business."
His voice thundered through the darkness.
"But you refused."
I began crying.
"Father, please…"
"Look at you!"
He pointed at me.
"A common thief."
His voice became louder.
"A murderer."
"A disgrace."
"A shame upon our family name."
I begged him.
"I am sorry!"
He shook his head.
"See where your stubbornness has brought you."
He stepped closer.
"You could have been a successful trader."
Instead, you became a criminal."
His eyes burned into mine.
"Worthless son."
Then he pushed me.
I fell backward.
And suddenly there was light.
Bright.
Blinding.
I reached toward it.
Then—
I opened my eyes.
I was back.
Back in the compound.
Back among the living.
Back inside my body.
That was everything I remembered.
No one spoke after I finished.
Not even Ego.
The entire compound was frozen.
Some people stared at me.
Others looked toward the sky.
A few had tears in their eyes.
Nobody knew what to make of what they had just heard.
Then something happened.
I rubbed my eyes.
At first, I thought there was something inside them.
I rubbed harder.
Nothing changed.
I blinked.
Darkness.
I rubbed them again.
Still darkness.
"Ego?"
She looked at me.
"I can't see."
I rubbed my eyes furiously.
"Ego, I can't see!"
Panic seized me.
"I can't see!"
I reached out blindly.
"Okemmiri!"
"Please!"
"Do something!"
Okemmiri stepped closer.
He looked into my eyes.
Then he slowly stepped back.
"There are things about the gods we can never fully understand."
I kept rubbing my eyes.
"Please!"
But the Dibia said nothing.
And somewhere deep inside me, I knew.
My return from the dead had not been a gift without a price.